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Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children Paperback – October 31, 2000
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From the Inside Flap
P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins. This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world -- and it will work for you. Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you:
How to avoid being a permissive parent
How to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you
How to teach your children to "own" their problems and to solve them
How to use the "No-Lose" method to resolve conflicts
Using the timeless methods of P.E.T. will have immediate results: less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment. Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you'll find P.E.T. a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive.
About the Author
DR. THOMAS GORDON, a licensed psychologist, was the recipient of the 1999 American Psychological Foundation's Gold Medal Award for Enduring Contribution to Psychology, the 2000 Lifetime Achievement Award from the California State Psychological Association, and the first recipient of the Career Achievement Award from the National Parenting Instructors Association. He has been a consultant to the White House Conference on Children and the White House Fellows. Dr. Gordon is the author of several books, including Leader Effectiveness Training (L.E.T.) and Teacher Effectiveness Training (T.E.T.). He works in Solana Beach, California, and has two grown daughters and two grandchildren.
For more information, please visit the Gordon Training International Web site at www.gordontraining.com.
Top customer reviews
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The book is self contained and concepts are explained in depth. Implementation is not simple and requires some self-discipline but it is so much rewarding to resolve issues and conflicts smoothly through talking. After just few weeks of adopting the method described in this book, I feel more relax at home and the relationship with my kids has greatly improved and their behaviour has changed dramatically.
I enjoyed reading Connection Parenting, Unconditional Parenting, and How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk. But this book, is just my favorite of them all. And I believe that many of the ideas in How to Talk so your kids will listen are taken from Dr. Gordon's method, but PET has a bit of an easier to understand and implement concept if I were to compare the two books.
So what makes this my favorite:
It's clear and easy to understand.
-It tells you exactly what steps a parent should follow (and how to follow them in your own home) to eliminate being a parent that uses punishment or rewards or from being a permissive parent.
-His methods are able to be used with all age children, non verbal children, to teens.
-He talks about the misconception of the wild uncontrollable teen and how that is a fallacy.
-It's a respectful, kind loving way to parent. But is not permissive.
-He has quite a good bit of info on both the controlling and permissive parenting style and the effects of using them with children. Especially because many parents who are new to respectful parenting mislabel it as permissive.
Key points of this book:
-Punishment can be discarded forever, all kinds, not just the physical kind.
-Parents can raise children who are responsible, self-disciplined, and cooperative without relying on the weapon of fear.
-He teaches about a conflict resolution method that has no losers and no winners.
-He helps parents discern behaviors. A behavior is something your child does or says, not your judgement of that behavior.
-Door openers: These are constructive ways of responding to a children's feeling messages or problem messages. (He gives a list of these, to help us parents out!)
-Talks about how to figure out what is your child's problem and what is a parent problem.
-Effective ways to deal when a child's behavior interferes with a parents need.
-He has great information on Parental Power and all the negatives about using this method on your children. If you use a traditional parenting model, this will really be informative.
-He talks about ways to change unacceptable behavior and gives concrete ways to help you make those changes.
If you want to treat your children with respect and kindness but have no idea what to replace traditional parenting models/methods with, this book will provide the answer.
I am a Christian Mom and found this book and these methods to fully support gentle Christian Parenting.
*Please excuse any typos.