Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ $3.99 shipping
+ Free Shipping
+ $3.99 shipping
ParentSpeak: What's Wrong with How We Talk to Our Children--and What to Say Instead Paperback – January 10, 2017
|New from||Used from|
Featured resources for clinical rotations
Explore these titles for clinical rotations. Learn more
Frequently bought together
Customers who bought this item also bought
“Underlying her friendly, enjoyable critique of certain phrases parents use reflexively—the kind that lead us to wonder, ‘How did my mother get in my larynx?’—Lehr offers a substantive and subversive message of respect for kids. The chapter about time-outs is worth the price of the book by itself, but I highly recommend you read the whole thing.”
—Alfie Kohn, author of Unconditional Parenting and The Myth of the Spoiled Child
“Parentspeak is the antidote to all those words we find ourselves saying to our children automatically, because everyone else says them: ‘Good job!’ . . . ‘Say you’re sorry.’ . . . ‘Don’t cry, you’re okay.’ . . . ‘Where’s my kiss?’” Lehr holds these and other thoughtless responses up to the light, where we suddenly see through them. I love Lehr’s clarity, her respect for children, and her ability to make it fun for readers as they have their worldview dismantled and renovated. Important for all parents; I will be recommending it to everyone.”
—Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting
“Smart, audacious, and often hilarious. Takes everything you thought you knew about parenting and turns it on its ear.”
—Jennifer Jason Leigh, actress, LBJ
“I’m obsessed with this brilliant gem of a book. I’m sharing it with my spouse, in-laws, extended family, and babysitters as a way to start discussions about when to ask for hugs, whether ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are always necessary, and that awful thing that constantly comes out of my mouth: ‘Be careful!’ What I love about Jennifer is that she deals out the most incisive, specific, modern advice, but then shares honest, authentic, and even awful true stories about her own mistakes. It’s like getting on the phone with the best expert and your best friend all at once.”
—Jill Soloway, creator of Transparent
“If the phrase ‘Good job, buddy!’ has ever made you cringe and you’re not sure why (except that you just heard it 6,873 times on the playground, including 146 times coming from your own mouth), this book is for you. Jennifer Lehr’s serious, skeptical look at why we sound so patronizing, controlling, and fake nice when we talk to our kids may change not only the way you talk to yours, but even the way you bring them up. Language is power, and this powerful book blows my mind—a fascinating read.”
—Lenore Skenazy, founder of the book, blog, and movement Free-Range Kids
“Beautifully bold. This book bucks convention so well you’ll wonder why you never questioned these platitudes before. Jennifer Lehr deeply understands kids, and her book is a lifesaver. Get ready to shake up your brain, ditch old habits, and discover what the parent-child relationship can really be.” —Heather Shumaker, author of It’s OK Not to Share and It’s OK to Go Up the Slide
“Children, even the youngest ones, are not dolls or pets; they are human beings, more intelligent than most adults realize. In this often witty, always highly engaging book, Jennifer Lehr helps us think about how to talk to and with these small humans. I recommend it for all new parents, and also for aunts, uncles, grandparents, early educators, and anyone else who interacts with young children.”
—Peter Gray, research professor at Boston College and author of Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life
“Funny, relatable, and packed with wisdom, Parentspeak encourages parents to proceed with compassion and meet kids where they are: in the thick of childhood. Lehr has a profound understanding of how language impacts children and provides practical strategies to help parents do what they often ask of their own kids . . . to choose your words carefully.”
—Katie Hurley, LCSW, author of The Happy Kid Handbook
“Wow. I had more EUREKA! moments in the first fifteen pages of this book than I have had in most of my 9 years of parenting. This book is now my forever shower gift. Thanks to the painstaking research and consideration of Jennifer Lehr, I now can understand why so many of my well-intentioned impulses have not always provided the calm, confident, loving outcomes I dream of. . . . It is never too late to examine or change the way we talk to and with our children. Words fly out so fast as a parent—this book gives us a second to step back and hear what we are actually saying. Bravo!”
—Kathryn Hahn, actress, Bad Moms
“Jennifer Lehr adds a new twist to the parenting literature. With humor and clear examples from her own and others’ experiences, she unravels messages that parents might not intend to give to their children but unknowingly are. This book will make them rethink how they interact and the language they use.”
—Tovah P. Klein, author of How Toddlers Thrive and director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development
“Language matters. It shapes our perceptions and influences how our children view themselves and their world. As such, Parentspeak is an important book in our time. With humor and grace, Lehr brings to light the issues with our common parental language and offers practical solutions. Well researched and insightful, Parentspeak will challenge you in the best possible way. Read it and grow.”
—Rebecca Eanes, author of Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide
“Finally someone who says what we shouldn’t say to our children—and, more importantly, why. If we want our children to follow their hearts, be resilient, and find their potential, then we must stop trying to lead and manipulate their way. Lehr shows us how we can derail their paths to success—and how to get back on track.”
—Bonnie Harris, MSEd, author of When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It
About the Author
Browse award-winning titles. See more
If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support?
Top Customer Reviews
As a nursery school director who enjoyed Lehr's presentation on her book and ideas to our parents, I am ever grateful for her addressing a skeptical crowd of young parents, who all left wanting more- and private sessions with her! One parent said it was like learning all of the communication secrets that preschool teachers hold that endear children to these special teachers.
I look forward to having ALL of the teachers at my school read this book over the summer as our Professional Development refresher. I plan to buy copies for our parents at preschool and hold a book club with it for the beginning of the school year. What a dream it will be to have parents and teachers using the same respectful and compassionate language with our children.
As I read more on her website, I could see her point, and how this manner of speaking to me by my parents as a child, had turned me into a people pleaser as an adult! Intrigued, I bought her book to read her thoughts on other common phrases parents use. I learned a lot and am implementing it into my daily life.
She writes in a clear, concise, conversational manner that is comfortable and approachable. There is no reader-shaming or assumption-making, like so many other parenting books do. No holier-than-thou and no perfect-parent syndrome here. Honesty and openness abound in the anecdotes and experiences given. I highly recommend this book if you are interested in improving your parenting and your relationship with your children. This is a welcome addition to my stack of respectful/positive parenting books, that I know I'll reach for again. Buy it! You won't regret it.
The structure of the book is brilliant. Each chapter is about a sentence, and that gives her the opportunity to talk about many different topics in a very organized way. Every concept is explained clearly, with examples and quotes from the studies supporting it. I've read a bunch of books following this approach and this one is definitely one of my favorites because it's really comprehensive. Plus, it doesn't just tell you what the problem is: it gives you resources to do things in a better way.
You can see how much work it has behind it (and if you follow her on Facebook, you know that it actually had a lot a lot of work).
It's very entertaining and easy to go through.
I'm recommending it to everybody!
But be aware: once you see "it", you can't stop seeing it, so get ready to get triggered! ;)