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Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family Hardcover – September 30, 2016
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"Paul Tripp constantly turns us back to the life-giving power of the gospel and God's unfailing grace. Parenting our children is one of life's greatest challenges, and Paul points us to the one thing that can make a difference―a genuine encounter with the living God."
―TobyMac, hip-hop recording artist; music producer; songwriter
"Simply put, I read everything that Paul Tripp writes. I can’t afford to miss one word."
―Ann Voskamp,New York Times best-selling author, The Broken Way and One Thousand Gifts
"This is the most meaningful book I have read all year. It is both theological and practical, a rare combination for a parenting book. For years, people have asked me to write a book on parenting. After reading this, I am convinced that I could never write one better than this. I’m so glad I read this, but I wish I could have read it twenty years ago. After reading Parenting, I was torn. Part of me wanted to sit, cry, and confess all of my failures as a parent. The other part wanted to scream with excitement for the tremendous insight I now have to be a better parent."
―Francis Chan, New York Times bestselling author, Crazy Love and Forgotten God
"I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It is simply outstanding. This is Tripp at his best: he shows us the big picture of life with Christ and gets down to the nitty-gritty specifics of walking by grace through faith. Tripp's manifesto is about more than simply our duty as parents―it's about our privilege of being ambassadors of Jesus Christ to our kids. Moms and dads from every culture will benefit from Tripp's call for us to live in light of the grace and hope we have in Jesus."
―Gloria Furman, author, Missional Motherhood and The Pastor’s Wife
"This book is so timely for me. My bride and I are raising four children aged five and under, and we need help! It's easy to find books with parenting tips on how to correct our children's behavior, but Paul Tripp's book goes far beyond behavior; he takes the reader to the source of the problem―the heart. If we understand our children at a heart level and have a proper understanding of the gospel, then we can parent them as God intends. Paul Tripp has written a simple yet profound book. Parents, you need to read this now. You will surely be blessed."
―Webb Simpson, professional golfer; 2012 US Open Champion
"I am an imperfect parent. You probably are too. Buy this book and soak in it. This is not another '5 Steps to Becoming a Perfect Parent'―instead, Tripp wants us to see our relationship to God and to our children through a big-picture lens. My wife and I are always-go-never-stop parents of young children. If you know the feeling, this book will be both challenging and refreshing, and ultimately it will be a great blessing to your journey. Tripp has made me think in a fresh way about the extremely important and tremendously challenging task that is everyday parenting. To raise up a child is a great responsibility―let us take it up with reverence, joy, and a loving heart!"
―Jacob Tamme, NFL® tight end
About the Author
Paul David Tripp (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) is a pastor, award-winning author, and international conference speaker. He has written numerous books, including the best seller New Morning Mercies and Dangerous Calling. His nonprofit ministry exists to connect the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. Tripp lives in Philadelphia with his wife, Luella, and they have four grown children. For more information and resources, visit paultrippministries.org.
President, Paul Tripp Ministries; author, New Morning Mercies and My Heart Cries Out
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When he says that today, many parents are choosing to work rather than take care of their children, I don’t think he is talking about the ones that HAVE to work. There are many couples who need two incomes, and that’s totally ok. The Bible never says “one parent must stay home with the child.” What I believe he is referring to is the new cultural norm of women needing careers to feel validated and have a “real job.” I’m not saying that women can’t work. What I’m saying is that being a stay at home parent is a REAL job. A 24/7 never ending job. What I truly believe the author is saying is that parents should, if possible, raise their own children. Sometimes, it’s not. However, sometimes parents are on the hunt for having a big house, a successful career, all these material things instead of focusing on parenting. When in reality, they could scale back - live in a smaller home, drive an older car, etc. - and afford to have one parent stay home or maybe just work part time to raise their child.
My goal in this post is not to make working moms feel bad. I can see how what the author wrote could be offensive - but I truly don’t think he meant it in that way. I do think it could be a wake up call to some who are working not for God’s glory but for excessive money, success, etc. But so far I do love this book. It has helped me to refocus my parenting on Him and especially His grace. Would definitely recommend.
"Thousands and thousands of children are handed over every day to people they don't know because success in work and career has become too important for their parents. Since neither parent is willing to step away from their work outside the home for fear of its long-term implications on their career and finances, no one is left to take care of the children, so someone else must be hired to do it. I know this is controversial, and I would never judge a couple who have their children in day care without knowing the details of why they made that decision, but I am troubled that we are not talking about this more. I am saddened by the numbers of children not with their parents for the bulk of the day during their formative years. I am saddened by the growing cultural comfortability with 'latchkey' children. I am concerned about how many exhausted parents pick up their children at the end of their day and are just not able to have the kind of patience and grace that they need for the rest of the evening with their children..."
The author states he is not judging these families - and yet, he is. He further states that he would never "judge a couple who have their children in day care without knowing the details...". Maybe he just shouldn't judge at all. Period. As Christians we are called to love and not to judge. I was so disappointed with this and I really tried hard to understand it. I even kept reading because I REALLY wanted to read and love this book. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't finish the chapter knowing that the author was writing from this perspective. Mr. Tripp, my child is one of those thousands of children who is dropped off every morning because God has called me to work outside the home. Many of the parents of those thousands of children will tell you that dropping off our children is the hardest, most stressful thing we have to do. I am so sorry that you feel we made this decision based on something as simple as career goals or finances, it was much more complex than that. It was not entered into lightly or without prayer and discernment. This book has such good potential, I wish it hadn't been ruined for me in the first chapter.
What I appreciate is that you may or I may differ on the application of the principle to specific choices in parenting; nevertheless, the principles are thoroughly biblical and since this is where the emphasis is, all Christian, Bible-believing parents should find this an extremely valuable resource.
Here are the chapters and the principles laid out:
1. Calling - Nothing is more important in your life than being one of God's tools to form a human soul
2. Grace: God never calls you to a task without giving you what you need to do it. He never sends you without going with you.
3. Law: Your children need God's law, but you cannot ask the law to do what only grace can accomplish.
4. Inability: Recognizing what you are unable to do is essential to good parenting.
5. Identity: If you are not resting as a parent in your identity in Christ, you will look for identity in your children.
6. Process: You must be committed as a parent to long-view parenting because change is a process and not an event.
7. Lost: As a parent you're not dealing just with bad behavior, but a condition that causes bad behavior.
8. Authority: One of the foundational heart issues in the life of every child is authority. Teaching and modeling the protective beauty of authority is one of the foundations of good parenting.
9. Foolishness: The foolishness inside your children is more dangerous to them than the temptation outside of them. Only God's grace has the power to rescue fools.
10. Character: Not all of the wrong your children do is a direct rebellion to authority; much of the wrong is the result of a lack of character.
11. False Gods: You are parenting a worshiper, so it's important to remember that what rules your child's heart will control his behavior.
12. Control: The goal of parenting is not control of behavior, but rather heart and life change.
13. Rest: It is only rest in God's presence and grace that will make you a joyful and patient parent.
14. Mercy: No parent gives mercy better than one who is convinced that he desperately needs it himself.
Top international reviews
I have just finished the book and I thought I would revise and add to my review. I have now given it 4 instead of 5 stars. The principles of the book are incredible. It is truly a must read for all Christian parents. It is definitely not a how-to but it is meant to shift the mindset and change how parents view and approach parenting. I noticed that some readers found it left them feeling inadequate and guilty. I didn't find that at all as the book clearly states that although we are unable to save our children, God is fully able to use us to do that. I find that in the chapter titled "Rest" which is the chapter before last the book kind of becomes full circle as it talks about how we can find rest in Jesus and that He is always there with us carrying our burdens.
I gave it 4 stars because:
1- I found plenty of spelling and grammatical mistakes and English isn't my first language. While this doesn't affect the message whatsoever, it subconsciously undermines the words somehow. It made me feel the book was rushed or not properly revised.
2- There is a GREAT deal of repetition in the book. I found it at parts almost off-putting. In some paragraphs, you can almost expect what will come next.
3- The writer mentions in more than one place in the book that God loves your children and He shows that by placing them in a christian family. Does that mean God doesn't love the children the aren't born into non-Christian families? Being born into a Christian family is ONLY an advantage but NEVER a guarantee. God loves everyone and has his own ways of speaking to and revealing himself to everyone. There are children which are born into Christian families. brought up in church and taught all there is to know about God yet they couldn't be further away from him.
In conclusion, I definitely recommend this book. It is very readable and understandable. Very important especially in this day and age.