Top positive review
60 people found this helpful
I was a strong-willed child, and I wish my parents had used these principles with me..
on September 6, 2016
This book is a parenting game-changer. Certainly not every parenting method will work with every child or temperament. I can say, though, that I was a very strong willed child myself, and if my parents had used these methods, our house would have been much more peaceful, relationships improved, and I probably wouldn't have made some of the poor choices as an older teen that I did. I have personally seen these principles used with great success in children of friends and family members. I personally haven't had a chance to use this with my son, as he is still a baby, but I'm trying to be prepared!
I feel like many of the negative reviews didn't thoroughly read the parts they are concerned with, or misconstrued the examples. The authors lay out general parenting principles, and then offer examples of how to implement these principles. These are EXAMPLES, people! You can certainly implement them in different manners than the authors suggest, based on your own child and what you feel is right as a parent. The authors state that the parent should only offer two choices that the parent is comfortable with. If you aren't comfortable with a certain choice (such as giving away a pet), then don't make that one of the choices you are offering, duh! The pet example seems to have many people up-in-arms, yet in this example, the parent did NOT permanently give away the pet as people state, they temporarily gave the dog to a family friend, telling the child they had 3 days to decide if the pet could come back home. Also, they did not starve the pet as everyone seems to think, they did let the child know they were abusing the pet by not feeding it. It certainly doesn't say the parent didn't or shouldn't feed the pet (without telling the child). No one is that heartless, and it doesn't serve a purpose. Also, the authors frequently list out precautions with their advice, since some individuals may misuse these techniques (as can happen with any parenting technique). They also have a section where they discuss how certain principles have been misconstructed, misprepresented and taken out of context. I feel like those who were concerned simply didn't read those additional words of wisdom. An example is that the authors discuss how the "uh oh" song is for when a child is misbehaving for the sake of misbehaving -- NOT because of a NEED. They emphasize that a need (vs a want) must be met, and I think some parents were too quick to use the "uh oh" song rather than meeting a need of the child. Also, I saw not even the slightest hint of any "attachment theory" in this book -- I hadn't even heard of this until I read some of the reviews. Now that I know what they were referring to, I can tell you there is none of this in the book.
Another amazing book that I highly recommend is "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk. It is quite compatible with the Love and Logic principles, but emphasizes the importance of building a relationship with our children.