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Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition) Hardcover – April 19, 2006
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From the Inside Flap
"This is as close to an owner's manual for parents that you will find. Now, parents can embrace mistakes as wonderful learning opportunities to raise respectful, responsible, and caring children." --Gloria Sherman, M.A., LPC, Counselor Zemmer Jr. High, Lapeer, Michigan Parenting with Love & Logic is an essential component for our students, parents, and teachers. For the last fourteen years, thousands of families in our school district have been positively impacted by Love & Logic principles." --Leonard R. Rezmierski, Ph.D., Superintendent, Northville Public Schools Parenting with Love and Logic is a MUST for every parent in America! This is the most useful book I've ever read. This stuff really works! My kids use this stuff on me, their peers, and their teachers! That's how I know it really works!" --Lorynda Sampson, Colorado Teacher of the Year, 2003 "For almost twenty years, I have been delighted to share the powerful, yet simple wisdom of Jim Fay and Foster Cline with my counseling clients. The principles in Parenting with Love and Logic are practical, proven techniques that keep parents on track to raising responsible, loving, confident children." --Carol R. Cole, Ph.D., LMFT Parenting with Love and Logic is a terrific book for parents that provide important concepts and practical solutions to help children become emotionally, socially, and morally healthy." --Terry M. Levy, PhD, co-director Evergreen Psychotherapy Center, Coauthor Attachment, Trauma and Healing This book gives parents the tools to build a lifelong relationship based on respect, empathy, appreciation, and love. Parenting with Love and Logic teaches kids how to think and problem-solve from a very young age." --Stephanie Bryan, Clinical Social Worker and Parent Coach, www.REALparenting.net This hilariously entertaining guidebook to working with children contains practical and easy-to-apply principles for both the home and the classroom." --Larry Anderson, Parent and Educator
From the Back Cover
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I feel like many of the negative reviews didn't thoroughly read the parts they are concerned with, or misconstrued the examples. The authors lay out general parenting principles, and then offer examples of how to implement these principles. These are EXAMPLES, people! You can certainly implement them in different manners than the authors suggest, based on your own child and what you feel is right as a parent. The authors state that the parent should only offer two choices that the parent is comfortable with. If you aren't comfortable with a certain choice (such as giving away a pet), then don't make that one of the choices you are offering, duh! The pet example seems to have many people up-in-arms, yet in this example, the parent did NOT permanently give away the pet as people state, they temporarily gave the dog to a family friend, telling the child they had 3 days to decide if the pet could come back home. Also, they did not starve the pet as everyone seems to think, they did let the child know they were abusing the pet by not feeding it. It certainly doesn't say the parent didn't or shouldn't feed the pet (without telling the child). No one is that heartless, and it doesn't serve a purpose. Also, the authors frequently list out precautions with their advice, since some individuals may misuse these techniques (as can happen with any parenting technique). They also have a section where they discuss how certain principles have been misconstructed, misprepresented and taken out of context. I feel like those who were concerned simply didn't read those additional words of wisdom. An example is that the authors discuss how the "uh oh" song is for when a child is misbehaving for the sake of misbehaving -- NOT because of a NEED. They emphasize that a need (vs a want) must be met, and I think some parents were too quick to use the "uh oh" song rather than meeting a need of the child. Also, I saw not even the slightest hint of any "attachment theory" in this book -- I hadn't even heard of this until I read some of the reviews. Now that I know what they were referring to, I can tell you there is none of this in the book.
Another amazing book that I highly recommend is "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk. It is quite compatible with the Love and Logic principles, but emphasizes the importance of building a relationship with our children.
This book is life changing. I'm a better parent and my children are better children because of the techniques I've learned. It is gentle, loving and effective. It's all about how you as an adult react to your child's behavior.
The reasons why kids misbehave and why our instinct reactions as parents are often ineffective, is in the first half of the book and then the second half is filled with common scenarios and how to handle them.
The book is easy to follow and will be a reference for me many years from now. I was a very strong willed child and I wish my parents had used this approach on me.