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Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition) Hardcover – April 19, 2006

4.3 out of 5 stars 620 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

"This is as close to an owner's manual for parents that you will find. Now, parents can embrace mistakes as wonderful learning opportunities to raise respectful, responsible, and caring children." --Gloria Sherman, M.A., LPC, Counselor Zemmer Jr. High, Lapeer, Michigan "Parenting with Love & Logic is an essential component for our students, parents, and teachers. For the last fourteen years, thousands of families in our school district have been positively impacted by Love & Logic principles." --Leonard R. Rezmierski, Ph.D., Superintendent, Northville Public Schools "Parenting with Love and Logic is a MUST for every parent in America! This is the most useful book I've ever read. This stuff really works! My kids use this stuff on me, their peers, and their teachers! That's how I know it really works!" --Lorynda Sampson, Colorado Teacher of the Year, 2003 "For almost twenty years, I have been delighted to share the powerful, yet simple wisdom of Jim Fay and Foster Cline with my counseling clients. The principles in Parenting with Love and Logic are practical, proven techniques that keep parents on track to raising responsible, loving, confident children." --Carol R. Cole, Ph.D., LMFT "Parenting with Love and Logic is a terrific book for parents that provide important concepts and practical solutions to help children become emotionally, socially, and morally healthy." --Terry M. Levy, Ph.D, codirector Evergreen Psychotherapy Center, Coauthor Attachment, Trauma and Healing "This book gives parents the tools to build a lifelong relationship based on respect, empathy, appreciation, and love. Parenting with Love and Logic teaches kids how to think and problem-solve from a very young age." --Stephanie Bryan, Clinical Social Worker and Parent Coach, www.REALparenting.net "This hilariously entertaining guidebook to working with children contains practical and easy-to-apply principles for both the home and the classroom." --Larry Anderson, Parent and Educator

About the Author

FOSTER W. CLINE, M.D. is an internationally recognized psychiatrist. He is a consultant to mental health organizations, parents groups, and schools across North America. He specialized in working with difficult children.

JIM FAY has thirty-one years on experience as an educator ans school principal. He is recognized as one of America's top educational consultants ans has won many awards in the educational field. He successfully guided his three children through their childhood and teen years using love and logic.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: NavPress Publishing; Rev Upd edition (May 3, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1576839540
  • ISBN-13: 978-1576839546
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 1.1 x 9.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (620 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,158 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
I borrowed this book from the library and have just finished reading part one. I will admit first that I am the product of what the authors call "helicopters," so some of the ideas in the book are unusual to me.

In general, I like the idea of natural consequences, enforcable choices, and encouraging children to think through their problems. I can see myself using these principles with my own daughter, but not always the way the authors do it. Some of the sample dialogues in the book are reasonable but many do not sound as genuine and empathetic as the authors imply.

Some of the examples in the book and in the "pearls" are making me very upset. In one case, a child has been neglecting her dog by not feeding it, so the mom just gives it away with no warning and without confronting the girl about it. The authors admit this is a really tough approach but that's how kids learn that unless you take care of your health and your animals serious illness or death can result. Now this sounds crazy to me. In our home, we think of pets as a family responsibility, so that might be one difference. Still, wouldn't it teach the girl more about empathy to sit her down and say "you can either come up with a schedule and feed the dog or we are giving it away, you have one week to improve." Why do these authors feel that giving someone a second chance is a bad thing? It seems this might teach her "if I don't fulfill my responsiblity, someone else will take care of it for me."

Another example is a mom who asked her son to do something and he mouths off and refuses. So the next day when he asks for a ride she says, yesterday you showed me that asking nicely can be ignored, so I'm not going to drive you to your activity, even though you asked nicely.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
So, I am not going to try to avoid redundancy here; I am just going to chime into the chorus of people stating that this book takes sound psychological principals, twists them into opinionated, super Christian fundamentalist parenting "tips" which, if applied, will most likely end up as abuse. The way I see it, this book has some major, horrible issues.

My background: I am a linguist and cognitive scientist who advocates neurological nurturing and optimal brain health through parenting the sound, scientific way. I have a two year old, and I am a devoutly practicing Orthodox Christian. So note that when I say that I find this book lacking in the Christian principle of love, of treating others how one would like to be treated, and full of evangelical wrong-headedness. It is also chock-full of bad neurological strategies, and takes advantage of a child's dependence and immature brain structure by making them choose out of helplessness to the situation. This is dangerous stuff.

Problems outlined:
1. Chiming into the chorus - no innocent animal should ever be allowed to suffer; If we took the sound conclusion that the authors make elsewhere in the book, that warnings allow kids to know that they have stretch room in our discipline habits, and that we should avoid warnings and make a serious point to let kids know that unacceptable behavior has an immediate consequence, then the logical conclusion to come to is that if your kid can't take care of the dog they wanted, they have to find that dog (with help, of course) a loving and better home than the one they're providing...not withhold food from the dog. It's cruel, and the dog never deserved to have to suffer.
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Format: Hardcover
I have my Bachelors in Child Development and a Minor in Psychology. I gave this book a try since a friend lent it to me and kept waiting for it to get good. The advice to let children experience their own natural consequence is reasonable but some of the examples and executions are extreme. There are certain boundaries parents can set for children with great outcomes for now and in the future, when they move to being teenagers and adults. This book never settled well in my spirit and as a parent we know to always go with our gut and do what is best for our family and child. I have three children and so far have learned that validation, proper boundaries, and letting them go for it (as far as all gross motor development is concerned i.e. riding bikes) has been terrific lessons for them. Through conquering activities such as riding a bike, they learn confidence by the competence they gained by doing it themselves. Quality time with kids is extremely important as well as valuing the time and experiences with them. I agree never to hover over your kids and do everything for them but to let them have responsibilities that they must follow through on. And, please don't do as the author suggests and shut children in their room when they say they are hungry before dinner. If a child is hungry thirty minutes before a meal say, "I see you are really hungry right now. Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes. You can choose carrots or an apple while you wait." There is no need to isolate them in their rooms for simply saying they are hungry and having to physically keep a door closed with a towel. I believe is not the best advice for this particular situation. There's countless more examples of ways you can parent differently and more effectively but bottom line is get your parenting advice somewhere else! A great book is "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen...And Listen So Kids Will Talk."
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