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Parentless Parents: How the Loss of Our Mothers and Fathers Impacts the Way We Raise Our Children Hardcover – February 15, 2011

3.2 out of 5 stars 10 customer reviews

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$23.99 FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books. Temporarily out of stock. Order now and we'll deliver when available. We'll e-mail you with an estimated delivery date as soon as we have more information. Your account will only be charged when we ship the item. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Gilbert, a HuffPost journalist and author of Always Too Soon, shares her own story, and those of others, who are raising children without the support and guidance of their own mothers and fathers. Both of Gilbert's parents had died as she reached her 30s, and not only did she ache from their absence, she also admitted to being envious, lonely, and unsure of her ability to be a good mother to her two children, despite the involvement of a loving spouse, in-laws, stepparents, and friends. Deciding to explore her situation in an effort to feel less alone, she started a support group, started a blog called "Keeping Their Memory Alive" and developed an action plan to fill the grandparent gap. While she argues there is no real way to compensate for this primal loss, her book offers some down-to-earth advice for getting on track as a parent, shedding the fear of dying young, talking to children about death, and assuming the responsibility of building a solid family relationship. (Feb.)
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Review

"Allison Gilbert offers an invaluable resource to anyone trying to find greater happiness as a parentless parent. By deftly exploring this difficult issue with uncommon sensitivity, insight, and just-right humor, Allison shows us how loss often has the unrivaled power to create a deeper appreciation of life and family."―Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project

"An important look at how the lack of grandparents affects families. Parentless parents know this, deeply. Now everyone else can, too."―Hope Edelman, New York Times Bestselling author of Motherless Daughters and Motherless Mothers

"This book on an unaddressed subject fills the need with empathy and hope."―Library Journal
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Hyperion (February 15, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1401323510
  • ISBN-13: 978-1401323516
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,983,974 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I lost both parents when I was 16. As a parent, I was very interested in this book.

Based on the quality of content the price is too high for a digital copy. This was an impulse purchase.

This book should be titled:

ME, ME, ME... Poor ME... What About ME!?! (And my dad is the most awesome parent/human/mammal EVAH!)

OK- kidding aside...

I did like that I could identify with a few experiences she mentioned that parentless parents deal with:

The pain and grief that new Rites of Passage can bring on at ANY age and stage that parents that have not lost their parents (to death OR estrangement) really can not comprehend.

How sharing kid joys/successes with peers may come across as bragging or being competitive. However, it is important to pick your friends wisely. Supportive and nurturing friends are key...

The constant struggle to keep your parents relevant to your kids when you only have your in-laws (who may or may not like you and may/may not be supportive of your heritage) comparing your offspring to them because it is familiar while being oblivious to your feelings. Regarding the author, it appears her in-laws do like her and I think that is always a positive for a parentless parent.

Some of the research statistics were interesting but as the author states, there is not much research on our particular demographic.

While I am sure we can all empathize with some of her experience the book is more of a personal account rather than a resource for support or insight. The author does whine, as others have pointed out, for most of the book. I tried to find a more kind adjective but no-it is clearly whining. An author can relate to readers without the whining.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Just more biographies with no real help on what the title says...How the Loss of Our Mothers and Fathers Impacts the Way We Raise our Children. That question is not even addressed in the book. I have raised my children and I have a few ideas of how I was impacted, my children were impacted and even my grandchildren are impacted but no clues in this book as with all others since the great first book on the topic, Motherless Daughters.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
When I lost both my parents in 2000, I searched everywhere for a book like this. This book is not just for the parentless parents but for anyone who loves one. Allison is able to show the journey and the process. Her most private moments are shared with tenderness and grace. Two of my closest friends have also bought the book, to help them understand how not having my parents affects my daily life. This book is moving and inspiring. Thank you!
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Format: Hardcover
What a great resource for parents. As a therapist and grief counselor I know how much this is needed and would highly recommend it to families. I would suggest it not only for those who have had both parents die, but also to those who have experienced the death of one parent. Sometimes when one parent dies the surviving parent can become emotionally unavailable or remarries and becomes distant. Parents will find comfort and concrete ideas from the author and a host of other parents she interviews.
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Format: Hardcover
I was sent a review copy of this book and I didn't expect to enjoy it much, my parents are alive and well and very much a part of my children's lives. What it offered me was an insight into parenting a completely different way, and it reads like a loveletter to multigenerational parenting.

I'd recommend this for anyone who is parenting without their parents be they deceased, out of town or just out of touch. It's a really good read for folks who have their parents around as well.
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