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The Go-To Mom's Parents' Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children Paperback – August 30, 2010

4.7 out of 5 stars 21 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Raise Healthy and Self-Reliant Children

From Kimberley Clayton Blaine (the producer of the popular online TheGoToMom.TV) comes a handy guide filled with practical tips that reject old-fashioned discipline and instead use empathy and emotion coaching—a more effective, open-hearted method of support and positive change. This book is written for parents who struggle to solve the day-to-day challenges of raising kids, while at the same time improving their parent-child relationship. The author offers practical solutions on how to use emotion coaching for dealing with tantrums, nightmares, hitting, bedtime, whining, bedwetting, potty training, shyness, anger, and other common problems.

Praise for The Go-To Mom's Parents' Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children

"Many mothers are confused and anxious—worried that they won't be able to navigate a successful path through the maze of advice, values, pressures, and needs that they face in being a parent. Kimberly Clayton Blaine is a reliable guide, and her book will help women take a deep breath and find a satisfying way to be a good mother and still hold onto the best of who they are as people."—James Garbarino, PhD, professor of psychology, Loyola University Chicago; author, Raising Children in a Socially Toxic Environment

"Offers parents concrete help. Kimberley Blaine reminds us that building strong relationships with our children is the cornerstone of humane and loving discipline and offers emotion coaching as a unique, effective, and peaceful way to help our children and ourselves in times of conflict."—Peggy O'Mara, editor and publisher, Mothering Magazine

"If you're tired of doing battle with your children, you must read Kimberley Blaine's book.... Learn to give up the bribes, spanking, and yelling—and achieve a more peaceful parenting experience!"—Susan M. Heim, editor, Chicken Soup for the Soul; coauthor, Boosting Your Baby's Brain Power

About the Author

Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT, is a licensed family and child therapist, the founder and executive producer of www.TheGoToMom.TV, and the social marketing director of a Los Angeles–based early childhood mental health campaign funded by SAMHSA, a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (August 30, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0470584971
  • ISBN-13: 978-0470584972
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #291,961 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Ramin K. Sakurai on August 30, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
"The Go-To Mom's Guide To Emotion Coaching Young Children" is book that couldn't have come at a better time for us. I'm a father of a 2 year 8 month old boy who challenges us on a daily basis whether it's eating, sleeping, potty training, taking a bath, going to swim class, playing with toys and sharing, I can go on and on... My wife and I have disagreements on how we should raise him but we're both open to a new solution. She feels "Time Outs" work for him and giving him rewards like chocolate when he sits on the toilet are great solutions, while I disagree wholeheartedly. When I take him to the toilet and refuse to give him chocolate, he gets upset at me and probably thinks, "Mama does it, why doesn't Dada?". After reading some of this book, I realized I was doing somethings that were actually correct (which is empathizing with my child, respecting and validating his feelings, and managing him without "time-outs", bribing, or raising my voice over his extremely loud voice). Then, there are times where I'd fall back into the old parenting habits and feel terrible with it. My wife and I are looking for alternative parenting methods and strategies that actually work in a positive manner. We want to raise a strong healthy boy who can eventually manage himself responsibly with his emotions. "Emotion Coaching" is the solution for any parent and it involves keeping yourself in check (esp. with your kids) so it's a huge growing experience for the parent and child as individuals, as well as together, in their relationship with themselves, and others in the world community. After reading some of this book, you'll start digging deeper to be a better parent and person for your child.

Highly Highly Recommended! If I could give more stars I would...

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Format: Paperback
I am always on the search for a good book to help me with my three rambunctious children. They each have their own personalities and abilities. Each day, week, month, and year I watch my children develop their own personalities even stronger. I think I have it all figured out, and then something happens to change it which is why I'm always looking for the perfect go to book.

I happened to stumble on Kimberley Clayton Blaine's book, "The Go-to Mom's Parents' Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children." I am a total judge a book by its cover and thought the title sounded pretty decent to me.

Then I open to a random page and was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. This book for me seemed to fit into my attachment parenting (AP) philosophy. I have read several books and had felt lately there wasn't much on APing an older child. I'm constantly on the search for a good book that can give me quick details and real solutions while helping me maintain an emotional, attached connection with my children.

This book does that! I am loving the actual parent to child situations with real solutions. Each chapter ends with Quick and Nifty Tips. I want to have some of this printed out to have a little quick check list for myself.

I am also loving the issue of rewards. Years ago I read Alfie Kohn's book, "Punished by Rewards", and never felt I got solid help on what I needed; however, Blaine's "Emotion Coaching" is doing what Kohn's book did not. It is giving the reasons why rewards don't work and what to do instead.

Blaine doesn't just discuss rewards; her chapter on Guiding your four-to-seven year old brings up other common topics that many parents face in childrearing.
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Format: Paperback
Kimberley Blaine's new book, Emotion Coaching, is such a good place to start in terms of understanding how to help your kids with their feelings. Kimberley, an MFT, also has a very informative website called the Go To Mom, where she vlogs about many great parenting tips. Her new book,The Go-To Mom's Parents' Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children synthesizes so many wonderful patenting tools and articulates them in such a great way. Emotion Coaching, is clear, and written with a great sense of compassion. Kimberely also reminds parents in her book how important it is to find a way to get a break and take care of yourself so that you can be patient with your kids. If you read only one new parenting book this year, read this one. After you do you will find yourself being a more compassionate and all around better parent.
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As parents in today's busy world, we are continually on the go, overworked, overwhelmed and exhausted. Add in a whiny child or a temper tantrum and we can lose it. Parents are often depleted of energy and can deal with such situations through punishment, removal of privileges, withdrawing of affections, or yelling. Kimberley explains that our children NEED to be coached by us on how to deal with their emotions. It is our job to do it. By taking the time and energy necessary to devote to emotion coaching them, it will pay off later. Kimberley demonstrates that by empathizing with your child rather that punishing, your child will learn to be an independent, well-adjusted member of society.

Think of yourself: Are you more likely to respect someone who dismisses you and discounts your feelings, or someone who shows empathy and validates your feelings when you are upset? Why would a child behave any differently?

As a parent who takes the time to listen to and to guide my children, I am certainly not infallible. I don't think any of us are. I do believe however, that if I had read The Go-To-Mom's book prior to having my children, I would have had an additional perspective that would have been very helpful. I highly recommend this book to all Moms. I think that ideally, Moms who are pregnant with their first child should take the time to read it while there is still time to read. :) You will enter motherhood with an enlightened perspective. Emotion coaching does have the potential to revolutionize the way most of us were raised to parent. Pay it forward to our kids - Let's raise them with the love & respect that we all know they deserve.
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