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Barnabas Piper

The Pastor's Kid: What it's Like and How to Help Paperback – June 1, 2020

by Barnabas Piper (Author), John Piper (Foreword)

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Advice on how to care for pastors’ kids and allow them to find their own faith and identity.

Pastors’ kids are often burdened by others’ expectations, but there is a wonderful solution, both at home and in the church: grace.

In this revised, refreshed version of Barnabas Piper’s best-known book, the author candidly shares his own experiences as son of pastor and bestselling author John Piper, offering a challenge to our churches and to the families at their very heart: how to care for pastors’ kids and allow them to find their own faith and identity.

Foreword by John Piper.

Print length

144 pages
Language

English
Publisher

The Good Book Company
Publication date

June 1, 2020
Dimensions

5.2 x 0.4 x 8.3 inches
ISBN-10

1784984736
ISBN-13

978-1784984731
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Barnabas Piper is Director for Community at Immanuel Nashville. He cohosts the Happy Rant podcast and blogs at BarnabasPiper.com.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ The Good Book Company (June 1, 2020)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 144 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1784984736
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1784984731
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 6.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.2 x 0.4 x 8.3 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #523,717 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,909 in Christian Pastoral Resources (Books)
- #34,176 in Christian Living (Books)

Customer Reviews:
60 ratings

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Barnabas Piper

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Barnabas Piper is a pastor, author, podcaster, and speaker who lives near Nashville, Tennessee with his family. He writes regularly for He Reads Truth and blogs at BarnabasPiper.com. He has authored several books and Bible studies and also co-hosts The Happy Rant podcast, a popular show discussing issues of faith and culture in a light-hearted, humorous manner.

Barnabas's work can be found in many publications and websites. He can be heard regularly as a guest on various podcasts and speaks at churches, camps, and conferences nationwide.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5

60 global ratings

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4 star		9%
3 star		5%
2 star		6%
1 star 0% (0%)		0%

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Ricky A. Lee

I found the chapter about the Pastor and Kid the most helpful.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 21, 2022

Verified Purchase

I read this book as a pastor to gain insight into what my children might deal with that I might now know. It is written for those who are a pastor, a child of a pastor, and those who want to gain a bit of understanding about a pastor’s kid. As a pastor, I found the chapter about the Pastor and Kid the most helpful. Barnabas’ personal stories were most helpful. I would recommend this book.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 18, 2020

Verified Purchase

As a mom to three PKs, this was really helpful for understanding their experiences. I’ve asked my teens to read it so we can discuss, because it was so spot on! I agree that church members should read it as well! I enjoy how he writes, it flows like you are listening to him speak. Very good book-I have already recommended it to friends!

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Daniel J Lamonte

Every church attendee and pastor should read

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 11, 2021

Verified Purchase

This was eye opening AND confirming as a dad of four who happens to be a pastor. Read with humility, repent, and offer and accept grace.

3 people found this helpful

Helpful

Hannah Stone

Worth the read

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 15, 2020

Verified Purchase

This book is well written and insightful, every church member should read it. It offers practical advice about how to love and serve PKs (pastor’s kid) well. If you are on the fence about reading this or not, read it!

Helpful

Both Sensitive and Bold

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 7, 2020

In "The Pastor's Kid: What it's Like and How to Help,' Barnabas Piper helps PKs, pastors, and church communities take an honest, hard look at what it means for a child to grow up under scrutiny in a ministry family. Although this is absolutely not a tell-all memoir about the author's experiences growing up as John Piper's son, he shares lots of illustrative anecdotes about challenges that he faced. Many of them are universal, such as the pressure that he felt to impress people with his biblical knowledge, but some of them are more distinct, since his father is a celebrity pastor. However, because Piper incorporates stories and thoughts from other PKs with different backgrounds, the book always remains generally applicable.

Piper designed this book to apply to people from any church size or denominational background, and he also uses both male and female pronouns throughout the book, instead of only referring to the PK as a "he." This is a very helpful touch, and he does a great job acknowledging both universal struggles and the diversity of experience. However, even though he is extremely sensitive to PKs and the wounds that they carry, some readers may struggle with how blunt he is about problems with church social dynamics and pastoral parenting. In my opinion, he is simply being direct and honest, and someone can take or leave his comments based on whether or not they apply to their context, but some pastoral parents may find this difficult to read, especially if they are insecure and struggling.

I would encourage pastors and their spouses to read this book despite any nerves or misgivings that they might feel, because Piper writes with a strong, helpful understanding of the challenging dynamics that pastoral families face. He rightly pushes back against the ways that parents and churches often unintentionally hurt, stifle, and manipulate PKs, and he also understands how pastors and their spouses struggle under the unrealistic, demanding expectations that have become increasingly common in the Western church. When churches expect their pastors to be available 24/7 and function as experts on every topic under the sun, they undermine the pastoral family, and Piper encourages Christians to change this culture.

Every family and church context is different, but Piper exalts Jesus as the ultimate solution, emphasizing grace as the answer to the legalistic and controlling environments that so often squelch a PK's ability to develop authentic faith. PKs need the space to process their beliefs without being viewed as failures or a blight on their parents' ministry, and since Piper has pushed through his own struggles and confusion to love Jesus more and care deeply about the church, I found this book very encouraging. This is a great resource for all Christians, because it can help PKs feel seen, understood, and encouraged in Christ, can help pastoral parents better connect with their children, and is an opportunity for the church at large to better live out the gospel by challenging problematic stereotypes and learning to support church leaders and their children in a grace-focused, understanding way.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

6 people found this helpful

Helpful

Zac Bartolomeo

This gives the vocabulary on how to process the upbringing of being a PK

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 15, 2020

Growing up in a Charismatic church as a pastors kid I faced things that I was not able to put into words as clearly as Barnabas Piper laid out in this book. In college I had a crisis of faith and I thought I had to walk away completely or pretend to be a Christian for the sake of family and friends. After pursuing closer relationships/discipleship in my church in college I realized that I just simply was walking away from the faith of my parents. I realized it was not as drastic as I thought. This identity crisis was growth directed by the Holy Spirit. This book provided insight into my upbringing that I had never taken the time to thing about. And for that I am so thankful for Barnabas Piper and the work he is doing for pastor kids and church goers everywhere.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

J. Paul

Help for those that want to help

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 16, 2020

I love my pastor and I love his kids, three of whom are students in our student ministry. I believe the unique perspective and information that this author shares in this book will better help me to relate and serve them. I expect I will return to these pages often in seeking to provide my own children with a loving, grace-filled home. It would be my hope that all church members would read this and take into consideration the special challenges a pastor's kid may face, and as the body of Christ, make every effort to build them up in love.

The book is very well written. I highly recommend it.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

B

Great read

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 15, 2020

This book has been on my to read list for several years as someone who didn’t grow up in a ministry family but serves in a youth ministry where the pastors kids seem to multiply weekly. It has been a joy and a blessing to better understand how to love these families, that I love so dearly, well.
Also Piper is succinct and funny in a space that is too often filled with blue blazers and khakis bloviating endlessly.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

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