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People We Hate at the Wedding Paperback – June 5, 2018
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The People We Hate at the Wedding is now a major motion picture starring Kristen Bell, Allison Janney and Ben Platt!
"It’s for the same audience that flocked to The Nest, Where’d You Go, Bernadette? or dare I say a little book you might be a fan of, Crazy Rich Asians."
― Kevin Kwan, New York Times bestselling author of Crazy Rich Asians
Relationships are awful. They'll kill you, right up to the point where they start saving your life.
Paul and Alice’s half-sister Eloise is getting married! In London! There will be fancy hotels, dinners at “it” restaurants and a reception at a country estate complete with tea lights and embroidered cloth napkins.
They couldn’t hate it more.
The People We Hate at the Wedding is the story of a less than perfect family. Donna, the clan’s mother, is now a widow living in the Chicago suburbs with a penchant for the occasional joint and more than one glass of wine with her best friend while watching House Hunters International. Alice is in her thirties, single, smart, beautiful, stuck in a dead-end job where she is mired in a rather predictable, though enjoyable, affair with her married boss. Her brother Paul lives in Philadelphia with his older, handsomer, tenured track professor boyfriend who’s recently been saying things like “monogamy is an oppressive heteronormative construct,” while eyeing undergrads. And then there’s Eloise. Perfect, gorgeous, cultured Eloise. The product of Donna’s first marriage to a dashing Frenchman, Eloise has spent her school years at the best private boarding schools, her winter holidays in St. John and a post-college life cushioned by a fat, endless trust fund. To top it off, she’s infuriatingly kind and decent.
As this estranged clan gathers together, and Eloise's walk down the aisle approaches, Grant Ginder brings to vivid, hilarious life the power of family, and the complicated ways we hate the ones we love the most in the most bitingly funny, slyly witty and surprisingly tender novel you’ll read this year.
"Sinfully good."
― Elin Hilderbrand
Entertainment Weekly's Summer Must-Read
A Publishers Weekly BEST SUMMER BOOKS, 2017
New York Post Best Books of Summer
Redbook's 10 Books You Have To Read This Summer
- Print length334 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherFlatiron Books
- Publication dateJune 5, 2018
- Dimensions5.35 x 1.2 x 8.2 inches
- ISBN-101250095220
- ISBN-13978-1250095220
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"Fact: best title of any novel ever. This story about a dysfunctional blended family and a wedding in England is sinfully good."
― Elin Hilderbrand
"A feast of bitchy characters, dysfunctional family dynamics and hilarious, over-the-top catastrophe."
― People
"Ginder takes family dysfunction to its hysterical limit in this joyously ribald, sharply cynical, and impossible-to-put-down examination of love and loyalty."
― Publishers Weekly, Starred Review
"The summer’s most compelling fictional exploration of affluence and envy, it skillfully mingles the introspective ways of a domestic novel with the juicy stratagems of a page turner...Especially well-suited to this summer of our discontent. Like all the best beach reads, it eats the rich like so many frozen grapes."
― Bloomberg BusinessWeek
"An over-the-top dishfest that atones for the sins of its characters with sly humor and a surprisingly big heart."
― Departures
"Reading this book is like watching a really good indie rom-com...It’s a dysfunctional family saga; sort of like Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney’s “The Nest” last year, but funnier... Ginder finds that careful balance of making fun of his characters while maintaining affection for them; by this saga’s end, you wish them all well."
― The Seattle Times
"A vibrant celebration of the modern family and all the crazy, hilarious and wild ways we love each other...This is the best wedding drama since My Best Friend's Wedding."
― Redbook
"Witty and completely absorbing, The People We Hate at the Wedding is family dysfunction at its best ―full of heart, humor, and jealous siblings. This novel is addicting and entertaining and I couldn't put it down!"
― Jennifer Close, New York Times bestselling author of Girls in White Dresses and The Hopefuls
"Not only does it have the best title in the universe, The People We Hate At The Wedding is wickedly smart and shamelessly funny. Grant Ginder brilliantly captures privileged Brits clashing against semi-privileged Americans in the most hilariously cringeworthy ways. Cluelessly self-absorbed, appallingly outrageous, and so very endearing, these are characters I hope to be seated with at the next wedding I attend."
―Kevin Kwan, New York Times bestselling author of Crazy Rich Asians and China Rich Girlfriend
"Don't be fooled by the superbly sardonic title―Grant Ginder's subject is not hate at all: it's love. Ginder expertly and hilariously shows us that real love (whether romantic or fraternal, parental or filial) is always a most complicated matter."
―Rumaan Alam, author of Rich and Pretty
"Ginder successfully captures the clash between people who are intimately connected yet deeply at odds. These characters are completely clueless and utterly self-absorbed yet highly likable, their trials and tribulations painful at times and joyful at others but always entertaining. Ginder’s latest is a fascinating exploration of family dynamics and the complex way we interact with those who know us best."
― Booklist, Starred Review
"It turns out that the people we hate at the wedding are the very people we most love reading about. Grant Ginder's smart, funny novel is madly insightful and contains some of the most delightfully difficult and fabulously flawed characters I've encountered in a long time. I found myself worrying about them as I drove to work, hoping things would turn out well for (almost) all of them."
― Stephen McCauley, bestselling author of The Object of My Affection
"Ginder has a gift for the gleefully outrageous, dishing out one over-the-top scene after another... A daisy chain of debacles makes time spent with people we hate good fun."
― Kirkus Reviews
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Flatiron Books; Reprint edition (June 5, 2018)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 334 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1250095220
- ISBN-13 : 978-1250095220
- Item Weight : 9.6 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.35 x 1.2 x 8.2 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #291,451 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #186 in Humorous American Literature
- #2,206 in Humorous Fiction
- #4,215 in Family Life Fiction (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author

Grant Ginder is the author of five novels, including Let's Not Do That Again and The People We Hate at the Wedding (soon to be a major motion picture starring Allison Janney, Kristen Bell, and Ben Platt). Originally from Southern California, Ginder received his MFA from New York University, where he teaches writing.
Follow him on Twitter or Instagram @GrantGinder
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This book did not live up to the expectations it set up through its relentless marketing campaign. It has no one to blame but itself - and its publishing house. The dysfunction was there for sure, but the fun? Well, not so much. It started out with some entertaining skewering of #whitepeopleproblems, from the world of behavioral therapy to the insanely dreadful echo chamber that is the ivory tower, and kept up this sly evisceration throughout the book: gay hipsters, wedding planning, the world of trust fund charity organizations, social media, and so on.
Don't get me wrong: I like to snicker at thirty somethings living for Instagram likes as much as the next girl. But it wasn't enough. Most disappointingly, at least one central character proved thoroughly unlikable, which really eroded my interest in the plot and the family altogether. That problem, coupled with the sad fact that the plot wasn't nearly as funny as it suggested it would be, led me into def disappointed territory. Again, positioning was to blame. I mean, come on! Don't compare your project with Where'd You Go, Bernadette? and then proceed to allow deep bitterness, self-righteous rage, and outright rudeness to dominate the book's overarching tone.
It won't surprise you at this point, then, to learn that I almost gave up on this book around the 2/3 point, when it became clear that anything in the way of charming resolutions were not on the agenda. But I'd already gone so far, see? So I kept at it, scuffing along until suddenly - suddenly! - the tide turned, at first just a little and then...then, BAM! all at once, with a glorious and most welcome Moment of Truth. It was exactly what I was waiting for, and I didn't even know it!
The Moment of Truth was good enough that it made reading the book entirely worthwhile. What a relief!
What else can I say, really? Don't plunge into this book thinking that this it's the light-hearted family book of the summer, because it's not. As discussed above, there's plenty of sly humor directed at your typical white progressive enclaves. But the family under the microscope here isn't fun and dysfunctional so much as it's mostly not functional and full of bad feelings. Read the book if you're a bride to be, if you're in need of a reminder that you're (probably) not nearly as terrible as SOME people are, if you need to feel better about your own family's shortcomings, or (last but not least) if you still don't get why social etiquette matters. Or just read it if you like to be surprised with a perfect moment.
Two and a half stars, not three.
Ginder's novel is a look at the wedding of American Eloise to her British fiance Oliver. The wedding is taking place in England; London and the south of the country are spots in the long, hot wedding weekend. While most is calm in Ollie's family - father, mother, and only child - it's a bit different in Eloise's family group. Eloise is the daughter of a wealthy French father and a middle-class American mother. (One of the questions in the book would be how this disparate couple ever got together in the first place). Her parents are divorced; the mother - Donna - went on to marry another husband and have two more children, Paul and Alice. As the story opens, Donna is widowed and living in a middle-class Chicago suburb. Her two younger children seem to be like many 30 year olds today. Alice is struggling with a career and love life in Los Angeles. Paul, a gay man, is struggling in Philadelphia with his career and love life. The one child making her way successfully in the world is Eloise, that older, richer sister who has floated in and out of her half-siblings's lives over the years. Eloise brings everyone together in England for her wedding and the hijinks and family anguish begin.
Grant Ginder's writing is very good. Eloise, Paul, and Alice are caricatures but somehow Ginder manages to breathe life into them and their problems. The other characters are interesting in a sort of distant way. I enjoyed the novel, though I felt the ending was a bit rushed. Rushed...but somehow appropriate.
To be honest, I finished another book while reading this one. I had to take looooong breaks before picking this book up again. I'm trying to think of one character I liked...oh, the guy one of the siblings meets on the plane -- a character who may or may not have showed up again later, if not, he is only in the book for like three pages. I liked him. Did anyone have a pet? Then I'd choose the pet.
I gave this book two stars instead of one for two reasons: 1) The title was perfect enough to make me curious and 2) The author really does have a good ability to construct a scene and write intelligently.
Top reviews from other countries
As long as you don't want to laugh though, I'd still recommend the book x












