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Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart Paperback – March 27, 2007
"Rebound" by Kwame Alexander
Don't miss best-selling author Kwame Alexander's "Rebound," a new companion novel to his Newbery Award-winner, "The Crossover,"" illustrated with striking graphic novel panels. Pre-order today
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While most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to sustain this where it matters mostâin our intimate relationships. Why, if love is so great and powerful, are human relationships so challenging and difficult? If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives.
Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal, core wounding around love that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This wounding shows up as a pervasive mood of unloveâa deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. And this shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us.
This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace our humanness and appreciate the imperfections of our relationships as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves.
Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world.
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I am reading it for the second time, this time I am picking up on different things.
John Welwood wrote this book so beautifully and it really opened my eyes!
My life is better because of this book. Highly recommend to anyone!!!!
entered after I finally gave up on my marriage of 30 years.
The new relationship was an extraordinary gift because my new partner and
I spent hours and hours discussing our feelings and offering one another
a great deal of love and compassion. As we ran into difficulties in the
new relationship, we began to read, and then revisit, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships
numerous times. This book was a great comfort during times of emotional pain, because
of the profound understanding that John Welwood brings to intimate relationships.
Then, after my new partner broke up with me because it seemed to her that I never really
had let go emotionally of my husband, I finally saw what John Welwood is saying.
All we want is to be held in perfect love, to be seen and appreciated for who we are. I suddenly
saw the many ways in which my husband had tried to show me perfect love and many ways I had
not fully seen and acknowledged who he is and not held him in perfect love.
My heart always has wanted to make good on the promise I made to love and cherish my husband
forever, but after years and years of trying, I finally had given up. Now, with this new
perspective on who he is and how I can relate to him, I am in the process of asking him
I still very much love the partner with whom I was involved for 18 months after separating from my
husband, but I see now that I truly do have unfinished business with my husband: showing him
the love that I promised him so many years ago.
Now I must let my new partner find her way forward without me, and I must endeavor to see if my husband
can find his way forward with me.
The love we offer one another will never be perfect, as Welwood very clearly points out, but the more we
get in touch with our own heart's desire to love and be loved in this way, the more fulfilling our lives will be.
Thank you, John Welwood.