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Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal Hardcover – June 9, 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
As recounted in this dark and affecting memoir, Metz's discovery of her husband's long trail of philandering well after he died reveals the state of willful ignorance and comfortable self-deception that reigned in her marriage. At their home in the northern suburbs of New York City on June 8, 2003, Henry, her husband of 13 years, suffered sudden cardiac arrest, leaving the author, a 44-year-old graphic artist, widowed and the sole caretaker of their six-year-old daughter, Liza. Initially unable to face the details surrounding his death, she left to her friends the task of cleaning out her dead husband's office, though those same well-meaning people hid from her the truth they gleaned from Henry's computer files and correspondence: he had been enjoying a two-year affair with another woman in their town, as well as numerous other dalliances. Metz, after the shock of Henry's death, found solace in shopping and flirting with a much younger artist, Tomas, who was also friendly with Henry; once Tomas intimated that Henry had another life, the author began digging, calling and e-mailing every woman she learned had had a relationship with her husband, obsessed with finding the truth. Metz's road to emotional honesty proves cautionary and trying. (June)
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"In lyrical, moving prose, we're treated to a powerful story of love, infidelity, grief--and starting over."―Working Mother
"A visual standout. [Metz] brings refreshing candor to a startling, painful tale."―The New York Times, Janet Maslin
"Heart-wrenching but triumphant."―Glamour
"A fascinating memoir by a woman who, after learning of her much-loved late husband's history of affairs, decides to confront her former rivals."―People Magazine
"Readers will be mesmerized. Her honesty about middle-aged sex and fear of never finding the "new" right someone make this a delectable summer read."―USA Today
"You'll be absorbed by the real-life sleuthing in Perfection, a riveting memoir about a widow who discovers that her late husband lived a deceptive double life."―Real Simple
"It is impossible to put PERFECTION down as we follow Julie Metz through her true story of love, lies, loss and moving forward. Her raw and brave writing makes you want to cheer Metz on as she pieces her life back together, one beautiful sentence at a time."―Marian Fontana, author of A WIDOW'S WALK
"Julie Metz's memoir of how her marriage unraveled after her mate's death is piercingly honest, haunting and heartbreaking. Anyone who has ever been in a bad relationship will over-identify."―Susan Shapiro, author of FIVE MEN WHO BROKE MY HEART and LIGHTING UP
"Metz's Perfection chronicles with lapidary precision one woman's climb back to happiness after not just a spouse's death, but also the shocking recognition that her life before that death was not what she had thought it was. The journey is a painful one, but Ms. Metz is much the stronger for having survived to recount it."―Julie Powell, author of JULIE & JULIA
"This aching memoir of love, loss, and deception is candid and compelling. I found myself rooting for Julie Metz in her search for a happy second life."―Hilma Wolitzer, author of THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER and HEARTS
"Lyrical, haunting, and utterly gripping."―Redbook
"A dark, evocative memoir from a woman forced to come to terms with her husband's death and the revelation of his infidelity."―Shelf Awareness --This text refers to an alternate Hardcover edition.
Top customer reviews
She also deftly chronicles her healing process, and that is helpful and inspiring. Although I don't necessarily agree with her having pursued new sexual partners as quickly as she did (that isn't for me, I've got to heal first), her process of accepting that her husband was broken, a fractured mess after compartmentalizing his life for so long, was something I deeply relate to. She doesn't use jargon though she did mention NPD once, after meeting with her deceased husband's shrink, who'd diagnosed him with it. Instead of popular catchwords about narcissism, she speaks from her own experience and analysis. Great book!
A quote from Norman Rush's Mortals: "Hell is another man putting his penis in his beloved's __" Well, it's the same for women, only, you know, reversed.
This is the ultimate wake up call book. Listen to your heart, your instincts and for goodness sake, listen to what your partner is telling you! Directly or indirectly, listen....