This was the absolute best book I could have picked to kick off a new year!
I actually love personality tests. We've done the DiSC and Kolbe assessments at my work. I think they're really helpful in getting to know yourself better and how you work with other people.
But, in his book, Personality Isn't Permanent, Benjamin Hardy definitely makes you think differently about those kinds of assessments. Personality tests can be limiting, and it's important not to let them prevent you from creating the life you are meant to live.
“When you decide who you’ll be and the life you’ll live, you can have anything you truly want. You can become an outlier. You can have experiences that not only shock other people but shock yourself ”
Hardy focuses a lot on "trauma" which, to be honest, I found a little hard to get my head around. We tend to think of trauma as major incidents that cause PTSD. However, what he means by trauma is: failures and missed opportunities. It can be a much smaller scale -- anytime someone or something made you feel bad about something that now limits you in some way.
He gives the example of a woman whose teacher corrected her drawing something like 40 years ago, and this incident stuck with her her entire life. It made her feel like she was not capable of creating art and so she never pursued it, despite a deep inner desire to illustrate children's books.
Throughout the book, I had to keep thinking about what trauma may have occurred to me that could be holding me back in some way. I realized public speaking is probably my thing. There wasn't a specific incident of a person making me feel bad, it's just a fear of mine. I shy away from it. "I'm not good at public speaking," is an excuse I tell myself and others. My personality tests confirm that this is not one of my strong suits. I am a heads-down, behind the scenes kind of worker, not an Influencer (on the DiSC scale). If public speaking were necessary for growth in my career, then this is the type of self-limiting belief that would hold me back from becoming who I'm truly meant to be.
Hardy talks a lot about journaling:
“Your journal is a brilliant place to actively convince yourself, emotionally, that what you want is already yours—you influence yourself through strategic communication”
In every chapter, he provides self-reflective questions to answer in your journal. This is very helpful for the reader to apply what they're learning as they read the book.
Personality Isn't Permanent is a very motivational read! I definitely recommend this book for anyone interested in personal development and growth.
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This is how successful people live: They become who they want to be by orienting their life toward their goals, not as a repeat of the past; by acting bravely as their future selves, not by perpetuating who they formerly were.Highlighted by 2,075 Kindle readers- Your personality should come from your goals. Your goals shouldn’t come from your personality.Highlighted by 1,870 Kindle readers
- The most successful people in the world base their identity and internal narrative on their future, not their past.Highlighted by 945 Kindle readers
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Top reviews from other countries
Patricia
Very insightful, definitely recommend!
Reviewed in Canada on October 9, 2023
Chiraag
Rewrite your Story, Don't let the past define your future, You can change!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 22, 2020
Chiraag
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 22, 2020
The book debunks many Myths about Personality tests and the fact that the past is NOT the greatest predictor of the future
Who do you want to BE and what CHOICES do you want to make?
It encourages you to focus on your Future Self - What you want to be in the future is more important than who you are now and should actually inform who you are now.
The book highlights four levers that actively shape your personality:
-past traumas
-identity narrative
-subconscious
-environment
The past can be given different meanings. Your past can change and it must change. Your past evolves as you evolve
Personality is a by-product of the decisions in your life. If you are serious about your purpose it will change your personality
Ben uses stories well to demonstrate myths about personality and how people have dramatically changed their personalities.
He helps drive the whole notion of Purpose and Goals and how they come from three sources - Exposure, Desire and Confidence
But the key message of the book is that You need ONE major goal. A Keystone Goal. Just the way you have a Keystone Habit. This can allow you to focus on your Future Self and what you want to be.
The book has lots of useful practical tips like - Go to bed one hour earlier. Wake up one hour earlier. Practice daily journaling. There is a really useful chapter on Trauma and using the concept of an empathetic witness to let go of this trauma and stop it defining your personality
Great strategies on labelling emotions, re-framing your narrative and steps to clearly outline your future self
The last two chapters are filled with other practical tips e.g practising fasting, giving money away, strategic remembering/ignorance and forcing functions.
Each chapter also has powerful questions to help you think about and reflect on the concepts covered and challenges you to change your thinking on these.
This is a really empowering book that can help you let go of the past and thinking your personality can't change and is your authentic self. It helps you with practical ways to let go of that past and focus on the Future Self which in turn will inform how you act in the now and support you in changing your personality. Highly recommended.
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Faris
Starts of well, but then becomes a generic self help book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 23, 2022Christine K
Personality Isn’t Permanent will change your life!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 29, 2020
