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Pirates of the Retail Wasteland Hardcover – April 8, 2008

by Adam Selzer (Author)

4 customer reviews

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Leon and his miscreant buddies from the gifted pool are mad as hell, and they’re not going to take it anymore! Their favorite downtown coffeeshop, Sip–the only survivor in the barren moonscape of decrepit Old Downtown–is in danger of being run out of business by the ubiquitous and oh-so-corporate coffee chain, Wackford’s. Wackford’s doesn’t host readings or smell funky or support the arts the way Sip does–it’s basically a glorified office. With the help of the Wackford’s manager–a self-described “McHobo” who’s worked for every chain along the strip–Leon and his friends decide to protest by taking over the Wackford’s and making it into a middle-management office. Meanwhile, Leon deals with an unwanted crush, a Mohawked father, and his friend Dustin’s ongoing quest to take down the gym teacher via depressing poems. Nothing quite goes as expected, but that’s the great thing about life in the gifted pool.

Pirates of the Retail Wasteland

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Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 6–9—To document the impact of corporate change and suburban sprawl on their town, eighth-grader Leon Noside and his gifted-pool classmates stage a mutiny against a giant coffee franchise. They raise a pirate flag and change the retailer into an accounting office for a day with the help of the local staff. While recording the reactions of homemakers, hotshots, and school librarians who are being tested to see if they notice, Leon also has to face his conflicted feelings toward two of his classmates. The quirks of the authority figures will have a high appeal to teens; Leon's family members re-create awful dinners from old cookbooks and adopt matching personalities, which gives readers a chance to commiserate over weird families of all sorts. They will be disappointed in the mediocre climax of the book; the pirate theme tapers off as the students abandon the project after a low-key confrontation with an antagonistic gym teacher. Addressing similar issues as Stefan Petrucha's Teen, Inc. (Walker, 2007) but for a younger audience, this is a general purchase for medium to large collections.—Chris Shoemaker, New York Public Library
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Adam Selzer lives in downtown Chicago. In addition to his work as a tour guide and assistant ghost-buster (really), he moonlights as a rock star. Check him out on the Web at www.adamselzer.com.

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Product details

Age Range: 12 and up
Grade Level: 7 and up
Lexile Measure: 860L (What's this?)

Hardcover: 208 pages
Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers (April 8, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0385734824
ISBN-13: 978-0385734820
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.9 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,543,330 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3657 in Books > Teens > Literature & Fiction > Humorous
- #23063 in Books > Children's Books > Geography & Cultures > Explore the World

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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars

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Top Customer Reviews

Revolutionary enough

BySwank Ivyon September 1, 2014

Format: Hardcover

I liked that Adam again nailed that whole "too smart for their own good" gifted pool culture (especially how the gym teacher was convinced it had to be one of them that was sending him depressing poetry), but even though I kinda thought the students were individually amusing, I didn't have much personal attachment to any of them. I was also kinda surprised that even the "BRING DOWN ALL THINGS CAPITALIST" Communist of the group didn't think it was a little tame to take over a coffeeshop with express permission and help from two of the workers. In the last book about Leon, his dad's wacky inventions somehow tied into the plot, whereas in this one Leon's dad kept up his harebrained ideas in such a way that it made me feel there wasn't much of a clearly defined reason for him to be in the book as much as he was. I did chuckle at the literary references and I did appreciate that a lot of "bohemian" and "alternative" culture was given a nod in this book, but I often felt that these bits felt a little randomly inserted. Perhaps this was intentional since kids Leon's age often do sort of latch onto an aspect of culture and define themselves by it for a while as they learn to understand it. And finally, I was a little disappointed in Leon for having a main motivation of wanting to impress Anna. Sure he LIKED being a "pirate," but he committed to the idea when he felt it would make Anna think he was revolutionary enough. I would have liked some revelation of Leon's embracing of the cause for the cause's sake at some point. I'll wrap up by saying it held my attention and that the dialogue is well-written!

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Courtesy of Teens Read Too

ByTeensReadTooon December 19, 2008

Format: Hardcover

Leon and his friends have a problem.

Just as they are assigned to come up with a monument for their gifted pool group, they learn a terrible truth. Their favorite coffee shop, Sip, could be going out of business.

Sip has been struggling against its big corporate competitor, Wackfords, another coffee chain downtown, and it's quickly losing the battle.

Leon and his friends don't like this and decide to take matters into their own hands. With some help from the Wackfords manager (who is surprisingly like Leon and his friends) they form a plan to save Sip.

However, you know what they say about even the best laid plans....

This book is smart and very, very funny. Readers will love going through this fight with Leon and find him as easy to relate to as a best friend.

Reviewed by: Michaela Pallante aka "Mickey"

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eh...

Byoctobercountryon May 10, 2010

Format: Hardcover

This was a short and very amusing novel, with likeable characters. Though, every time I read this sort of story, I have to wonder if families as wacky and goofy as the one depicted here actually exist in the real world. One thing is certain, I don't remember my own circle of friends back in junior high as being quite so imaginative or funny as the characters in this book are.

The writing style is fine, but I have to say unfortunately the plot didn't interest me in the least, and it kind of fizzles out to a pointless conclusion. So, this book gets an "eh" reaction from me overall despite its positive qualities and I can't say I particularly recommend it. This is a companion novel to another story about the same characters titled How to Get Suspended and Influence People, so perhaps I would have enjoyed that one more? The author also wrote I Kissed a Zombie, and I Liked It which does sound very funny; I'll have to try that one sometime.

This book reminded me, once again, that I'm a bit out of touch with modern teenagers. (The only teens I really know are my own niece and nephews; don't spend much time with kids that age as a rule.) I often am unable to figure out what age range any given teen novel is appropriate for. This book, for instance, contains a generous variety of swear words/vulgar terms---just about all of the major ones, in fact, except for "the big one." And to me, vulgar language just seems so unnecessary in books aimed at kids aged 12-14, like this one is. Do all kids today really talk like this, and am I being hopelessly old-fashioned? Man, I'm getting old; I know books weren't written like this when I was that age!

I like the dust jacket on this one; very nicely designed.

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The story of a small-time business battling the superstores

ByMidwest Book Reviewon June 15, 2008

Format: Hardcover

Adam Selzer's PIRATES OF THE RETAIL WASTELAND tells of a favorite coffee shop about to be put out of business by a corporate chain - and the efforts of a band of wacky gifted patrons to save it. With much tongue-in-cheek the story of a small-time business battling the superstores makes for a zany quest that is hilarious and fun.

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Pirates of the Retail Wasteland Hardcover – April 8, 2008

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