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Comment: Publisher: Eraserhead Press
Date of Publication: 2011
Binding: paperback
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Condition: Acceptable
Description: 978-1621050100 Some moderate shelfwear - sorry, belonged to a smoker.
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Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face Paperback – October 23, 2011

4.5 out of 5 stars 13 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"And, though brilliant and vastly intelligent, it should also be noted that Bradley Sands is a dick." - CRACKED.COM

"Bradley Sands has succeeded where all other novelists have failed: he has written the Great American Novel. Martin Amis came close to beating him to the punch a few years ago, but he accidentally wrote his novel on the wrong body of land and has been crying like a little girl ever since. If you have any compassion in your heart, end Martin Amis's sorrow with the joy of Sands's brilliant American prose. But be sure to read Please Do Not Shoot Me In the Face before giving it away forever--Amis has never returned a book in his life." - Bradley Sands, author of Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy
 
"This is a book for anyone who has ever hated someone. This is a book for anyone who has ever wanted to break into someone's house while they were sleeping, wrap a book around your fist, and punch that asshole in the throat until they're dead. This is that kind of book." - Bradley Sands, author of Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You
 
"In Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face, Bradley Sands uses literary sleight of hand to miraculously create a novel out of three novellas. The novella, "Apocalypse Ninja," achieves the grand feat of being the stupidest thing ever written. With shuriken-sharp writing, Sands fulfills mankind's greatest unconscious desire without even pooping his pants." - Bradley Sands, author of My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Eraserhead Press (October 23, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1621050106
  • ISBN-13: 978-1621050100
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,650,093 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This is the third book that I have read by Bradley and I enjoyed this one as much as the other two.
I liked the little "interludes" between Bradley and Frankie Nougat, who is the main character in the first novella.
A fine little collection that will fit right in there with all the other Bizarro you have in your collection. Be sure to pick this one up!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Please Don't Shoot Me In The Face is bigger than the Bible, the best book you'll ever read and that's quote from Little Boy Detective Frankie Nougat.

Bradley Sands ask us to read this novel, that wants to be a novel and find the theme. Or heck with it and have some laughs. From the case of the missing heart to the Cheesequake Smash-Up and ending the novel (or is it?) with the bizarre story of Apocalypse Ninja you will remember the bizarro man himself Bradley' Sands.

Overall my favorite part of Novel, or my most favorite of the three novellas is cheesequake smash-up. A video game like no other with a cast of characters from hit TV show The Office, but with a Mr. Sands dialogue and description.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
One of the three pieces included in this collection of novellas—or this “novel,” if you choose to believe the unreliable meta-Bradley Sands-narrator of the book—is called “Cheesequake Smash-Up.” I’d already read it prior to encountering it again here. As such, I was going to skip it and just read the other two novellas. (That massive, anxiety-inducing, ever-growing list of books I want to read before I die doesn’t permit much time for rereading anything—know what I'm sayin', Sam?) But “Cheesequake Smash-Up” has always been one of my favorite entries in the Bizarro Starter Kit series, so I said screw it, and read it again. And lemme tell ya—it was even better the second time around, Sam.

The other two novellas included in Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face (“Frankie Nougat and the Missing Heart” and "Apocalypse Ninja”) are equally awesome. Hilarious and off-the-rails absurd, each of those novellas scored sky-high on the ol' WTF?!? meter and, as such, where right up my alley.

Catch ya later, Sam.
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Format: Paperback
This is the best book ever. It has three great novellas and awesome interludes starring the author himself and it's got the best book title I've heard all year and the cover is awesome and the whole thing is hilarious, great, and amazing.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I was at the doctor's office.

"Well, Doc. It's like this. I have a headache the size of Baltimore, My nose runs like the winner of Kentucky Derby, My body is aching for the fjords and I have an irresistible desire to discuss Existentialism with Nietzsche's horse"

"What have you been reading lately, Marvin?

"Oh, the usual The Great Gatsby, Ulysses, The Exesis of Philip K. Dick at one word a day, and unsolicited excerpts from Journey to Virginland".

My doctor shook his head. He pulled out the rectal thermometer, looked at it and shook his head again. "It's quite obvious. You are having a bad case of taking yourself too seriously". He handed me a copy of Bradley Sand's Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face.

"Read these three stories. One for each night then report to me on Thursday. Do not try to read more than one a night as it could have devastating consequences."

I left fifteen minutes later, of which ten minutes of it was spent begging the doctor to put the rectal thermometer back in. When I got home I looked at the relatively thin book and thought, "Posh! (the Spice Girls were staying the night). I'm the only man who ever read Ouspensky's In Search of the Miraculous in one night and survive." So I began reading. Wait! This is actually three novellas. It's a novel. No, now the author says it isn't. I was getting confused. I soared through the first novella, a cute little Bizarro comedy called "Frankie Nougat and the Case of the Missing Heart". I found myself forgetting about Nietzsche's horse, probably just in time since the horse was changing into something more comfortable. Frankie is sad and funny and his dog is cute and makes a fair gun.
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Format: Paperback
Firstly: I believe this is a novel. Why? Because it claims to be one. The book believes itself to be a novel, and the book knows itself better than anyone, so who are we to question it?

Now that that's settled...

This book is seriously funny and inventive. The humor is both schizophrenic and juvenile, neurotic and hyperactive. Every character in Sands' universe is in some way mentally unstable. I don't think there is a single normal person or event in the entire book; if there were, it wouldn't be a Bradley Sands book. The narratives seem to strain toward greater and greater ridiculousness, climbing an exponential curve of absurdity until they implode into singularities of psychosis. This book displays a zaniness, a wackiness, a kookiness that is almost vulgar.

Of the three parts of this book, my favorites are the first two. The last part, "Apocalypse Ninja", seemed to be lacking something. It was a little too heavy on the juvenile effect, and although that juvenile aspect is a crucial part of Sands' work, I find that it works best when balanced out with a more serious kind of dementia, even if that seriousness goes unstated and just lurks in the background while the more childish antics unfold.

As a whole, the book succeeds. The book is mentally unstable. I identify with the mentally unstable book. If you identify with mentally unstable things (and chances are you do), then pick up a copy of this book and let it be your friend.
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