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The Polyamory Handbook: A User's Guide Paperback – March 25, 2008
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About the Author
Pete Benson has decades of experience with polyamory in a variety of forms, since well before the term was coined. He has lived in a quad as well as poly dyads with various polyamorous configurations. He is co-founder of 3 local polyamory groups and has been active at the core of each of these. He has experience leading workshops, polyamory peer support groups, and similar polyamory-related events in local poly groups as well as poly conferences. He presently lives with his primary partner, Deborah, in the Pacific Northwest. He can be contacted at email@example.com, or firstname.lastname@example.org.
Top customer reviews
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I'm still poly curious after reading the book; I now know more about it, which I think was the author's intent. The book is neutral about polyamory itself, simply providing information ABOUT polyamory, not about selling it. ie, neither pushing polyamory nor warning against. It simply says this is what it is and how to practice it ethically; take it or leave it, whatever is right for you. The book also talks more broadly about various types of alternative relationships, acknowledging that there are no strict boundaries, but still differentiating between open, swinging and polyamorous relationships.
Very helpful and informative. Also has ideas for relationship agreements, problem solving in arguments, and great resources.
Thank you for writing this book Peter Benson!
For example "IF A and Y are in a relationship that A thinks is exclusive but Y is telling people that they have an open relationship is it wrong for Z to have a threesome with Y and D if Z only has sex with D" The author, who is Z, says "no it isn't wrong because he is only having sex with D and what D and Y do, is none of his business."
Noooo, it is Z's business. And it most certainly is "A's" business. Z is the "accessory" to the crime. Just because he (Z) is only have sex with D doesn't negate the fact that he is knowingly helping Y and D deceive A.
That is the problem with a lot of books on open relationships. There are a lot of "buts." For a "lifestyle" that likes to trumpet that it is ethical, all about communication, about being free, there is a lot of rationalization about unethical behavior.