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Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families Hardcover – Bargain Price, August 11, 2005

3.7 out of 5 stars 70 customer reviews

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Hardcover, Bargain Price, August 11, 2005
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From Publishers Weekly

Having already carved out a major niche among 20-to-30-somethings with The Starter Marriage, Paul takes on another bane of postfeminism: the Internet-enabled "all pornography, all the time" mentality of many younger men and its ripple effect on the culture. For this pornograph, Paul interviewed more than 100 people—80 of them young, straight men. Some findings are predictable: porn allows men "to enjoy the fantasy of endless variety," but can distract men from their partners, detract from their sexual skills and harm relationships. More valuably, Paul finds women caught under new forms of social pressure—from men and women—not to disdain porn: to do so, now, is (among other things) to be seen as limiting women's sexual self-expression. Paul also sees porn seeping ever sooner into preteen life and sensibly observes that there's no reason for porn to be limitless on the Net when it's regulated elsewhere. Still, a critique that aims to avoid religious conservatism's invocation of sin and radical feminism's emphasis on civil rights violations can get fuzzy. Like Potter Stewart ("I know it when I see it"), Paul can't always distinguish sex-related art from pornography other than on a case-by-case basis; things get especially thorny regarding the torture and pain that, she asserts, "many, perhaps most men, find alluring." She ends up arguing that pornography, like alcohol or cigarettes, should be "discouraged," and proposes an effort by the government and private sector to quell consumer demand. Paul's outlines and analyses can seem simplistic, and her prose rarely rises above the level of the Time magazine feature on which the book is based. But she covers a lot of territory, and there's plenty to unnerve the knee-jerk "free speech" crowd. This will be a major watercooler book this season.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

It's beyond argument that pornography in America today has achieved a certain respectability: think of porn star Ron Jeremy's reputation in the 1980s and his reputation today. Paul details how the ubiquity of pornography impacts our personal lives. She discusses studies on the subject--in one, 77 percent of respondents said they had looked at pornography at least once in a 30-day period--and shares interviews with many who watch it regularly. Paul's analysis is wide-ranging: why men look at porn and how porn affects them, how women see pornography, how porn affects sexual relationships, the effects of porn on children. If Paul is far less polemical than, say, Andrea Dworkin, her book reveals a sadness about it all, reflected in one user's comment: "I don't see how any male who likes porn can think actual sex is better, at least if it involves all the crap that comes with having a real live female in your life." Certain to generate discussion, as did Paul's previous book, The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony (2002). Alan Moores
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Times Books (September 8, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0805077456
  • ASIN: B001068I2A
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 1.1 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (70 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,288,426 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Ms. Paul feels that the debate about porn in the civic arena is stuck in the 1970s, oblivious to the rapidly deteriorating landscape around us. Most Americans now view pornography on a regular basis, and most of those viewers do not consider Playboy to be porn. Clearly something wild is afoot, something akin to a social earthquake or a drug epidemic.

Porn today is far more intense, far more accessible, far more violent, and, yes, far more chauvinistic than anything we've had before, and we as a society are in denial. Pornography is now cool, and nobody dares transgress almighty cool. Somehow porn has progressed from the domain of dark-sunglasses-and trenchcoat-wearing loners to movie stars and A-list entertainers. Today it is cool for the male mind to gorge on the objectification of women, and decidedly uncool for women to complain.

Paul's solution - "censure not censor" is a good one. For reasons from free speech to globalism in commerce, any large-scale prohibition of pornography is highly unlikely to have an impact on production or consumption. What is really needed, Paul argues, is good old-fashioned shame. As a culture we can regress in our crudeness. It has happened before.
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Format: Paperback
OK, she exaggerates, sometimes wildly. And OK, being a woman, she doesn't really understand what makes men tick (though she's certainly no man-hater). Nevertheless, her main argument is undoubtedly right.

If your sex life is real sex with a real woman, then unexpected things are always happening. Especially if you're spontaneous and can laugh at yourself and be yourself and encourage your partner to be herself, too, then sex rarely gets boring. You're never sure what's going to happen, because you're not really in control (sex is best when you're completely out of control); instead, life is in control of whatever happens. Not that it ever works out perfectly, but when you both end up feeling so good and so grateful, who cares? When these great times are shared, there's nothing else like it.

Porn is the opposite. Or haven't you been using it long enough to see that it gets old pretty quickly? When the same images start to bore you, you try something a little more "edgy." At first, you'll say to yourself, "I'd never consider THAT repulsive stuff." But eventually, you wind up in precisely that gutter yourself.

I'm sure she's right that well over half of US men use porn at least monthly. But since she exaggerates, it's hard to know just bad the problem really is. Porn might resemble alcohol: terribly corrosive for some, but relatively harmless for most. So if you're a woman, and you catch your hubby using porn some night, it's not necessarily any worse than his having a couple of beers. But if he also does other things that are starting to "really creep you out," then it's probably gotten worse than "just a couple of beers.
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Format: Hardcover
This book is worth purchasing and reading or at the very least leafing through at the library.

The author does an interesting job of presenting controversial material. Today if you're not supportive of the Porn Industrial Complex, somehow you're either a puritan or another woman with an axe to grind!

Paul is on to something with this well-read (read not another dry academic polemic) and so-so researched book. I don't think her "study" meets the requirements of an acceptable social science inquiry, but that is another issue.

The quotes and observations from people who view porn are the most telling and allow her to make her point easily.
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Format: Hardcover
For those who aren't into porn and don't want to be, this book is a helpful education. Paul manages to tell us what's really going on in porn without forcing us to walk hip-deep into the muck. She also makes it unblinkingly clear, both from important, documented studies and from porn watchers' own disclosures, that a steady diet of porn is indeed a slippery slope into worse and worse stuff. She provides the information needed to avoid getting sucked into the "it's just harmless fantasy" and free "speech" defenses while, at the same time, standing firmly against Puritanism and outright censorship as the only alternatives.

Paul also makes it painfully clear that the kind of porn so easily accessible via the Internet today is nothing like the old Playboy centerfolds (which could be characterized as Hugh Hefner's endlessly adolescent fantasies). Today's horrifically hardcore stuff is distorting in the worst possible way even to adults but even more so to pre-teens and young teens just learning about sexuality. Saying that porn is an inevitable guy thing is like saying men truly believe they are helpless in the face of pornifed images, have no say in their fantasies or in what turns them on, that porn is the only way they know how to deal with repression and silence about sex, that what they learned at age 13 is good enough for the rest of their lives, or that they are incapable of distinguishing between the "forbidden" and their own internal standards.

Even remaining totally within the realm of fantasy, it is perfectly legitimate to ask of porn advocates (ourselves or others), why would you even *want* to be turned on--even in fantasy--by the kinds of things porn purveyors produce? In the end, porn says virtually nothing about sexuality or the paid players.
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