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The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy Paperback – August 18, 2009

4.1 out of 5 stars 27 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Diane England, PhD has a particular interest in the topic of post-traumatic stress disorder after having worked with military families for five years at a NATO base. Dr. England holds a PhD in clinical social work from the University of Texas at Arlington. In addition, she has a master’s degree in family studies from Oregon State University and a bachelor of science degree in child development from the University of Maine. She is a licensed clinical social worker who has practiced as a psychotherapist. She has also held other positions that provided opportunity to educate individuals on how to strengthen themselves, their marriages, and their families.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media; Original edition (August 18, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1598699970
  • ISBN-13: 978-1598699975
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #648,501 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
There is a substantial clinical literature on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and certainly there are many clinical as well as popular books about improving marriages. However, Dr. England has written what I see as the first self-help book which brings these two domains together. I think it's an important book for this reason alone, and I believe others will follow now that it's defined. PTSD/Relationship -- it's really more than the sum of the two parts, since we learn a lot about relationships when they're under stress, and about individual struggles when in a family context. We can see how communications get distorted, resentments build, and how both people in a relationship become increasingly different from the "real people" they know themselves to be(and previously liked ... though now less and less). Instead of mirroring back at one another their positive qualities, validating and enhancing one another, they get caught-up in distorted images and senseless, mutually hurtful efforts to "set things straight" that only make matters worse: blaming, attacking, diminishing one another's self-worth, escalating anger, etc.

I think readers will find understanding and comfort in this well-written book, feelings of validations that they very much need. However, they also will find useful tools for working on lasting relationship change. Dr. England includes many useful references and resources as well. I will recommend the book to my clients. Let's convince her to write a workbook as her next undertaking!

Carl Hindy, Ph.D.

Nashua, NH Psychologist, Marriage Counselor

Co-author of "If This Is Love, Why Do I Feel So Insecure?"
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have been dealing with my husband's PTSD, the VA hospital is not helpful to the wives of soldiers at all, they don't teach you what is going on with them. My husband and I almost divorced over his PTSD because I had no idea what was going on with him. I read this book and started connecting the dots, no thanks to the military or VA who are no help. I started reading excerpts from this book to my husband and he started to realize he wasn't crazy and their was a reason. He is so much happier now, I am so much happier having the knowledge on how to help him and what to do with and for him. It really cleared up so many things that I now know that it's not me. I would recommend this book to anyone who is suffering from PTSD, but really for the spouses/ loved ones who are dealing with a person who has it. Very good book, a lot of information, and an easy read as well.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The more you know about this disease and the side effects and detrement the better off you, your spouse, your family, and others will be. Very insightful, full of lots of great information that was an eye opener to my wife and me as the subconcious, physical, and subliminal effects of PTSD that I (we) never would have correlated the two, and I've been in the medical field 22+ years. Bless my wifes heart for taking the initiative to learn so much about PTSD and not giving up on me. This was one of her tools and I read it after her. She now understands what 's going on better than I do, thanks to help from this book as well, and I live with PTSD; but she understands it better.
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Format: Paperback
I know this is a very low rating, but I believe it is justified precisely because the book purports to hold out hope for people who really need it. If it were a tawdry novel with the same quality of content, it might earn two stars.

I agree with the above commenter who stated that the treatment of the problem was extremely superficial. (I also agree that the book gives the appearance of having initially been written exclusively for veterans, but that strikes me as minor compared to the superficiality problem.)

Based on the title, I expected the book (which is a decent length) to go into detail examining THE RELATIONSHIP as affected by one partner's PTSD, and also the effects on the non-diagnosed partner (since the literature on the effects of PTSD on the person who has it is already extensive). I was disappointed. One chapter, "What are you going through?" (sixteen pages) should probably be about half of the book. One would hope this chapter would address what sorts of symptoms are normal for the partners of PTSD sufferers, what sorts of disorders the partner may develop, whether these are likely to be remedied by the PTSD-suffering partner's treatment or may need independent treatment, and what the interaction might be between the non-PTSD partner's difficulties (or resulting psychological disorders) and the PTSD (I expected the book to contain at least a chapter on the likelihood of a partner developing clinical-level depression as a result of living with a PTSD sufferer and the need for treatment). This is not the case. Instead, the chapter provides a cursory summary of the stages of grieving about as sophisticated as a ninth-grader's science paper. Apparently, the stages of grieving cover the sum total of what a PTSD sufferer's partner might experience.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy

It was ok. There was some good information in it. But there was also a lot of clinical information in it that would remind you it was written by a doctor not someone that had lived it. It was geared towards the spouse, but it really didn't make me feel like it would help me deal with my husbands PTSD any better then I was doing on my own.

And the exercises are too "therapy". Who say's things like "How about the next time I feel like you are blowing me off because the PTSD is talking again, I bring this to your attention? Then I'll ask you if you are having a tough time of it and, if you are, I'll suggest we talk at a later time". I just really feel like it could have been a lot better if it was something real that people could relate too. It read too much like a doctor, not a real person.
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