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The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

William Ury (Author, Narrator), Random House Audio (Publisher)

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No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the language. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say no: to people at work, at home, and in our communities; because no is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us.

But as we all know, the wrong no can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That's why saying no the right way is crucial. The secret to saying no without destroying relationships lies in the art of the Positive No, a proven technique that anyone can learn.

This indispensable audiobook will give you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No. It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your no firm and strong; how to resist the other side's aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to yes. In the end, the Positive No will help you get not just to any yes but to the right yes, the one that truly serves your interests.

Based on William Ury's celebrated Harvard University course for managers and professionals, The Power of a Positive No offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying no in virtually any situation. Whether you need to say no to your customer or your coworker, your employee or your CEO, your child or your spouse, you will find in this book the secret to saying no clearly, respectfully, and effectively.

In today's world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say yes grows greater every day, producing overload and overwork, expanding e-mail and eroding ethics. Never has no been more needed. A Positive No has the power to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say yes to what counts: our own needs, values, and priorities.

©2007 William Ury (P)2007 Random House Inc.

Listening Length

7 hours and 16 minutes
Author

William Ury
Narrator

William Ury
Audible release date

January 30, 2007
Language

English
Publisher

Random House Audio
ASIN

B000NUOJKO
Version

Unabridged
Program Type

Audiobook
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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5

781 global ratings

5 star		77%
4 star		13%
3 star		8%
2 star		1%
1 star		1%

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Top reviews from the United States

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W. Tyler Hester

A valuable guide to saying no

Reviewed in the United States on February 21, 2023

Verified Purchase

This book provides valuable insight into the importance and difficulty and proper technique in saying no. The frameworks, examples, and stories make the path clearer for the reader who wishes to say no while preserving relationship

Sheralyn S. Belyeu

Reviewed in the United States on October 21, 2022

Verified Purchase

We all need to say no, but deciding when and how to say it can be excruciating—so hard that often we say yes when we shouldn’t. This book clarifies the principles behind a good No so we can learn to say it without guilt and while preserving our relationships.

One person found this helpful

good pointers, but with forced examples and too many pages

Reviewed in the United States on December 17, 2022

Verified Purchase

Good tips

I did find that the book had many examples which felt forced, and that the book was too long. At times the structure was rather repetitive or disorganised

Root your No in a deeper Yes

Reviewed in the United States on March 30, 2007

Verified Purchase

William Ury is the co-author of the well-known book Getting to YES. In this book he explains how he has come to realize that getting to yes is only half of the picture. Ury even says that "whether and how we say No determines the very quality of our lives." The reason is that word No is indispensible whenever you have to stand up for what really matters to you.Certain situations can create tension between an issue which is important to you and a relatinoship that is also important to you. This tension can make us fall into the three-A trap of Accomodation (saying yes when we mean No), Attacking (responding forcefully) and Avoiding (doing nothing at all). Ury presents the positive No as a way out. In short this means:

1. Yes! -> positively and concretely describing your core interests and values

2. No. -> explicitely link your no to this YES!

3. Yes? -> suggest another positive outcome or agreement to the other person

Ury goes into much detail about how to prepare, deliver, and follow through your positive No. His style of wrting is crystal clear and his examples are interesting. Some examples are probably very recognizable to many readers (like: how do you say to someone who wants to borrow money from you when you don't want to). Other examples are much grander (how to negotiate in an inter-ethnic conflict) and also interesting. The core idea of this book is very simple and very important. I was perhaps most interested to read Chapter 2 which explain the importance of a Plan B, which is your backup for your prefered outcome. I'll end this review with a quote by the great No-sayer Mahatma Gandhi (which is mentiond on page 7): "A `No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a `Yes' merely uttered to please or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

72 people found this helpful

Another Paradigm Shifting Gem from Ury

Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2015

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I found this book by William Ury to be as groundbreaking and revolutionary as Ury's blockbuster hit "Getting to Yes." Ury makes the critical point that is better to say no than to accept a bad deal that will inevitably lead to future conflict. The best way to say no is thoroughly explored in this book and it is worth the time to read since saying no is such a sensitive subject to most relationships.

The Ury approach is to first articulate your needs, i.e. your yes, and to be able to explain how your needs are not being met by the bad deal. The next step is to say no is a way that is emphatic and to stick to your no so as not to cave to the other side's pressure. Finally, you then make a counter-proposal, i.e. your "yes," so as to preserve and continue the relationship. This "yes, no, yes" approach may sound simple but it is not.

Ury's books have been referred to me by several law professor over the years as part of my legal training. I have found Ury's books eminently practical yet paradigm shifting. I heartily recommend the power of a Positive No as well as all the other Ury books on negotiation.

14 people found this helpful

Great read for learning to say no respectfully.

Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2021

Verified Purchase

Really like the framework for the positive no, some of the examples being at regional government levels were hard to relate to interpersonal communication.

One person found this helpful

Better Than Expected

Reviewed in the United States on September 28, 2021

Verified Purchase

I believe this book was listed as "good" and when it arrived I was so surprised! It is really like new. So great! Also Goodwill Colorado used paper packaging which I love! So nice that the book did not arrive in plastic! Way to go Goodwill Colorado!

Positively impressed

Reviewed in the United States on August 19, 2017

Verified Purchase

No means no, enough is enough, and so on. They are clear examples of 'No' you will find on medias, at work or even in you personal life. And maybe you have realized that these Nos will not ever effective if they don't means something or there are good reasons behind of these Nos

In this book you will learn what could make effective a 'No' and a procedure for saying 'No' respectfully and supported by your values

Finally, this book has been a great chance for learning about the author and other topics like negotiations which I ever expected to learn about. I hope you enjoy as I have done.

Top reviews from other countries

Ms. I

Transformative both personally & professionally

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 12, 2017

Verified Purchase

Excellent book. Being self employed, I have trouble saying no to Clients. As the writer recommends, I used it with one particular problem in mind and the effect has been transformative. I’ve become much clearer about why I want to say no, how to explain it to the Client, how to reach compromise or walk away if that’s what’s required. I re read it immediately with other issues in mind and been able to see where I’ve gone wrong in the past, or how to say no, both personally and professionally, in the future.

One person found this helpful

J9

Wish I had read this years ago

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 9, 2020

Verified Purchase

This book is so powerful in itself! I really wish I had read it in the early days of setting up my business as it would have saved me a lot of distressing negotiations with myself first and foremost, before selling myself out to please and accommodate clients. That said it has changed the way I now do business and how I feel so empowered and connected to saying NO but a great solid foundation of yes to myself! Absolutely brilliantly written and yet another excellent book from William Ury.

Malcolm Pagett

Very informantive

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 1, 2013

Verified Purchase

I've always had trouble with saying no (in fact, I think it's the reason why I'm so shy). I've read this book and kept notes and I've learned that whole point of being able to say "No" to someone first has to come from a "Yes" to your own interests and desires. This book will also teach you how to say "No" to the people you really care about and keep the relationship the way you want it. It may even help strengthen it.
I recommend this for anyone who has that problem saying no.

2 people found this helpful

Ec

Life changer

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 14, 2018

Verified Purchase

It is amazing to realise how much we can improve our day to day life with just changing the way we express and communicate ourselves.
This book really helped me in showing people the real me without making enemies.
I will surely buy the other books wrote by the author.

Amazon Customer

Loved this book, very insightful

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 2, 2021

Verified Purchase

A different spin on setting boundaries, absolutely loved it

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