From Publishers Weekly
Wilder wrote this book after her marriage to Los Angeles Lakers star James Worthy ended in divorce. In it, she blames the break-up of their union on powerful mate syndrome, which she describes as a situation in which a personusually a womanexperiences her mate as holding far more power in the relationship than she does. Wilder begins with her own storyshe and Worthy fell in love in college, threw a lavish wedding and appeared to be a happily-ever-after couple that had it all. But deep inside, Wilder suffered because of her inferior rank in the marriage. "I enthroned [my husband] as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the kings subject." Wilder goes on to share compelling stories of other people who are afflicted with powerful mate syndrome: ladies who lunch instead of finding fulfilling jobs or volunteer work, trophy wives who pay no attention to family finances and women whose husbands demand that they give up fulfilling careers to stay home and raise children. A hundred pages into her book, Wilder finally starts to offer solutions and writing exercises for women who want to reclaim power in their marriages. Unfortunately, much of the advice just scratches the surface. Suggestions such as "invest in couples counseling," "establish your own credit history separate and apart from your spouse" and "get a job!" dont really address the deeper issues that are at play in a power-imbalanced marriage. After ending her marriage, Wilder earned a masters degree in clinical psychology and now works as a registered marriage and family therapy intern. She seems genuinely sincere in her desire to help readers avoid the mistakes she made, but her book would be more effective if it offered fresher, more comprehensive solutions that would resound with couples at all economic levels.
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From the Inside Flap
Have you set aside your dreams and goals in favor of helping your man achieve his?
Do you hold back from voicing your opinion when it will conflict with his views or preferences?
Do you sometimes feel you're invisible?
Do you feel "happily ever after" has let you down?
Whether your mate is wealthy, famous, infamous, prominent in the community, high-achieving, or simply has a forceful, dynamic, or sexy personality, you may be suffering from this all-too-common relationship trap.
With candor, humor, and solutions that work, Angela Wilder provides hope and help, including:
* A quiz to determine whether your relationship suffers from a power imbalance
* Honest questions to ask yourself-and your mate--today
* Relationship deal-breakers every woman needs to define for herself
* Guidelines for establishing a seven-step relationship Game Plan, tailored to your values and beliefs, covering family, money, career, communication, lifestyle, and more-to help your relationship flourish and grow.
If you thought commitment was the simple "happily ever after" at the end of a fairytale, get ready to meet your new "Reality Godmother," who will help you find a path back to your most authentic self, and to a greater sense of intimacy, fulfillment, and joy.