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Powerful Mate Syndrome: Reclaiming Your Strength and Purpose When Your Partner Is the Star of the Relationship Hardcover – September 9, 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars 4 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Wilder wrote this book after her marriage to Los Angeles Lakers star James Worthy ended in divorce. In it, she blames the break-up of their union on powerful mate syndrome, which she describes as a situation in which a person—usually a woman—experiences her mate as holding far more power in the relationship than she does. Wilder begins with her own story—she and Worthy fell in love in college, threw a lavish wedding and appeared to be a happily-ever-after couple that had it all. But deep inside, Wilder suffered because of her inferior rank in the marriage. "I enthroned [my husband] as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the king’s subject." Wilder goes on to share compelling stories of other people who are afflicted with powerful mate syndrome: ladies who lunch instead of finding fulfilling jobs or volunteer work, trophy wives who pay no attention to family finances and women whose husbands demand that they give up fulfilling careers to stay home and raise children. A hundred pages into her book, Wilder finally starts to offer solutions and writing exercises for women who want to reclaim power in their marriages. Unfortunately, much of the advice just scratches the surface. Suggestions such as "invest in couples counseling," "establish your own credit history separate and apart from your spouse" and "get a job!" don’t really address the deeper issues that are at play in a power-imbalanced marriage. After ending her marriage, Wilder earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology and now works as a registered marriage and family therapy intern. She seems genuinely sincere in her desire to help readers avoid the mistakes she made, but her book would be more effective if it offered fresher, more comprehensive solutions that would resound with couples at all economic levels.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From the Inside Flap

Have you set aside your dreams and goals in favor of helping your man achieve his?
Do you hold back from voicing your opinion when it will conflict with his views or preferences?
Do you sometimes feel you're invisible?
Do you feel "happily ever after" has let you down?

Whether your mate is wealthy, famous, infamous, prominent in the community, high-achieving, or simply has a forceful, dynamic, or sexy personality, you may be suffering from this all-too-common relationship trap.

With candor, humor, and solutions that work, Angela Wilder provides hope and help, including:
* A quiz to determine whether your relationship suffers from a power imbalance
* Honest questions to ask yourself-and your mate--today
* Relationship deal-breakers every woman needs to define for herself
* Guidelines for establishing a seven-step relationship Game Plan, tailored to your values and beliefs, covering family, money, career, communication, lifestyle, and more-to help your relationship flourish and grow.

If you thought commitment was the simple "happily ever after" at the end of a fairytale, get ready to meet your new "Reality Godmother," who will help you find a path back to your most authentic self, and to a greater sense of intimacy, fulfillment, and joy.

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press; First Edition edition (October 1, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312333447
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312333447
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,146,661 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Top Customer Reviews

By Darlene March on October 15, 2004
Format: Hardcover
Here's a book that may be about you or someone you know. It's Angela Wilder's personal account of how she became "invisible" and an "appendage" of her powerful mate, former NBA Lakers star, Jim Worthy. The whole book is is about empowerment, but one of the best lessons is how important it is for spouses to gain control and responsibility of money matters, and why ignorance in this area is no excuse! Also, the "Create Your Own Game Plan" chapter is a must read.
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Format: Hardcover
Here is the book I will be buying my nieces and daughter for the holidays, for although fairytales are nice, reality has a way of bearing down hard on girlish romantic illusions.

Angela writes a down-to-earth and oh-so-important handbook on how NOT to lose yourself in your newfound life with your man. She does so with a humor and honesty that is satisfyingly honest and refreshing. By answering the quizzes and questionaires contained in the book, you can adapt the advice for your particular situation. Although happily married for 22 yrs. I still find many helpful suggestions in this fine book. A must-read.
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Format: Hardcover
This is a must read book for any women-all ages and professions. The author takes us through her personal growth and reconnection to self in such a way that provides meaning to the phrase find and take care of yourself. Very positive and uplifting.
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Format: Hardcover
I'm not only the author's literary agent, but I'm also a big believer in what Angela Wilder has to say. First, let me tell you what this book is NOT. It's not a book about being married to a professional athlete. Wilder explains that whether you are in a relationship with an attorney, a performer, a local politician, a CEO, or the head of the local fire department, there is likely an imbalance of power in your relationship. Sometimes the woman might be the more powerful partner; other times it might be the man. Based on Wilder's experience as a family counselor, as well as her own experience of having to subjugate her own dreams to those of her powerful partner's (she was married to NBA great James Worthy), she outlines clear strategies for you to improve your relationship and reach your potential as a person--by creating the right balance in your relationship. It's rare that a how-to book can also be a page-turner, but Wilder's writing style, along with her honesty, passion, and incredible life story, make this a book you'll likely read in one sitting. I can't imagine this book not having a major impact on you and your relationship.
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