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Pretending to Love by [Cartwright, Ashton]
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Pretending to Love Kindle Edition

4.3 out of 5 stars 61 customer reviews

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Length: 137 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Product Details

  • File Size: 2495 KB
  • Print Length: 137 pages
  • Publisher: Ashton Cartwright (September 10, 2012)
  • Publication Date: September 10, 2012
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0099HFADC
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #881,550 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By C. J. Graves on September 22, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Okay, maybe he's not an expert--but he's funny and that should count for something!

Not your average, honesty is the best policy, blah, blah, communication involves listening, yawn, your partner should be your best friend, excuse me while I gag, relationship guide. Pretending to Love breaks all the rules for how to create "relationship bliss". It doesn't just break it but throws it to the ground and punches it in the face until it can maneuver into a rear naked choke. (As you'll learn, Dream Girls like UFC.) :D

Undoubtedly, you will find some person or situation to identify with, even if you hate to admit it. One of my favorite lines in the book came right in the beginning in the Relationship Questions and Answers: For Men--

Q. Can women tell when I want to sleep with them?

A. Yes. All men display subtle hints when they want to sleep with a woman. Some of the more obvious ones are talking, looking in their direction, and breathing.

Why didn't I ever get that before? Genius! Anyone in need of a good laugh should buy this book.

*Warning--may contain offensive material to certain individuals--specifically to those with an unnatural affection for cats, Johnny Depp, and artistic realism.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
If you are looking for a book about how to help your relationship, go and look up the words "cynical" and "satire" on google, then come back here and buy this book anyway, while it may not help you out in your relationship, at least it will make you laugh.

I don't normally laugh out loud when I read, but this book made me do just that. And there were parts where I wanted to just read paragraphs out to the nearest people (unfortunately I was on a train most of the time I was reading this, and I looked around, but the surly-faced bloke sitting near me in his tweed jacket just didn't seem like he would fully appreciate me giving him the advice as per the book).

Great tongue-in-cheek look at relationship self help books. Probably sums up the authors thoughts on that genre of writing quite well. Though I did think that there were certain sections that described me to a tee... (so what if I am a WoW player, play DnD and am a Chuck Norris joke connoisseur).

While you may not get useful relationship advice, you will hopefully get a good chuckle, I know I did.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Pretending to Love: How to Cheat Your Way to Relationship Bliss!
by Ashton Cartwright

I purchased this book for my Kindle thinking it was to be a silly, feather-light humor book. After reading it, I realize it is nothing of the kind. This slim tome is filled with pithy wisdom, penetrating insights, and stunning artwork.

Pithy Wisdom: "Relationships have been the single biggest cause of stress, failure, heartache, indebtedness, and outright physical revulsion since one amoeba decided to merge cellular walls with another ..." How true, and how heart-rendingly expressed!

Penetrating Insights: Male cartoon's thoughts: "I am bald, fat, and unwashed, yet I still consider myself attractive." Female cartoon's thoughts: "I am beautiful, sophisticated, and intelligent, yet I still consider myself unattractive!" One wonders how a man so young could have such deep understanding of the inner lives of cartoons.

Stunning Artwork: The book is punctuated with droll ironic cartoon couples, expertly drawn to seem at first to be virtually identical, but upon further inspection to be exactly alike. How incisive is this commentary on our self-importance and the author's limited graphics abilities!

Ashton Cartwright has created a form of humor never seen before. A single look at his Amazon author's portrait reveals a tortured, sensitive young man obviously deeply wounded by unrequited and spurned love. But this plucky talent has given us here a written guide book to the minefields we call romance.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I laughed so hard at some parts of "Pretending to Love" that I honestly thought I was going to suffocate. The book really is that funny. Some of the common relationship situations the author explains are so realistic, yet so ludicrous, that you can't help but laugh. The comics are also very funny, and I think the fact that they are drawn about as well as a 5th grader would draw them even adds to the charm! I have no idea what this guy would be like in a relationship, but if this book is anything to go on, he definitely has issues!

I really enjoyed it, and I hope the author writes more books like this!
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I didn't really know what to expect from this book, but I was very enjoyably surprised! I though that perhaps it might have been a bit cynical, but it was actually really fun from start to finish! I thought the "Test Your Relationship" chapter was particularly good! Definitely worth a read.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I downloaded the Kindle version of this book because my friend said it was hilarious, and she was 100% correct! It's really funny all the way through, and is clearly a parody of every "fix your relationship" book ever written. I even ended up buying a copy of the paperback version to give to a friend for his birthday. Well recommended!
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