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Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage 1st Edition
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Over a span of five years, sociologists Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas talked in-depth with 162 low-income single moms like Millie to learn how they think about marriage and family. Promises I Can Keep offers an intimate look at what marriage and motherhood mean to these women and provides the most extensive on-the-ground study to date of why they put children before marriage despite the daunting challenges they know lie ahead.
- ISBN-100520241134
- ISBN-13978-0520241138
- Edition1st
- PublisherUniversity of California Press
- Publication dateMarch 8, 2005
- LanguageEnglish
- Dimensions6.32 x 1.14 x 9.2 inches
- Print length300 pages
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Editorial Reviews
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From the Inside Flap
"This book provides the most insightful and comprehensive account I have read of the reasons why many low-income women postpone marriage but don't postpone childbearing. Edin and Kefalas do an excellent job of illuminating the changing meaning of marriage in American society."Andrew Cherlin, author of Public and Private Families
Edin and Kefalas provide an original and convincing argument for why low-income women continue to embrace motherhood while postponing and raising the bar on marriage. This book is a must read for students of the family as well as for policy makers and practitioners who hope to rebuild marriage in low-income communities.”Sara McLanahan, author of Growing Up with a Single Parent
"Promises I Can Keep is the best kind of exploration: honest, incisive and ever-so-original. It'll make you squirm, and that's a good thing, especially since Edin and Kefalas try to make sense of the biggest demographic shift in the last half century. This is a must read for anyone interested in the tangled intersection of family and public policy."Alex Kotlowitz, author of There Are No Children Here
From the Back Cover
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : University of California Press; 1st edition (March 8, 2005)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 300 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0520241134
- ISBN-13 : 978-0520241138
- Item Weight : 1.34 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.32 x 1.14 x 9.2 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,185,422 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #623 in Poverty
- #960 in Sociology of Marriage & Family (Books)
- #4,186 in Discrimination & Racism
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors

Maria Kefalas earned degrees at Wellesley College and the University of Chicago, completed a post-doctoral fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania and worked at the Brookings Institution and Barnard College (at Columbia University) before joining the faculty of Saint Joseph's University in Philadelphia. She has received grants from the Department of Justice, the MacArthur Foundation, and the William T. Grant Foundation. Her writings have appeared in The Washington Post, The Chronicle of Higher Education, Slate, The Huffington Post and The Root and she is the author/co-author of four books. In 2012, her life took an unexpected turn when her youngest child, Calliope, was diagnosed with a fatal, degenerative, neurological disease called metachromatic leukodystrophy or MLD. That experience led Kefalas to become an advocate and philanthropist when she and her late husband Pat Carr to established the Calliope Joy Foundation and helped launch the Leukodystrophy Center of Excellence at the world-renowned Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Her newest book - Harnessing Grief - is a memoir about her life caring for her daughter and how she acquired the "superpower of grief" to champion gene therapy and save other people's children when Cal would not be helped. Learn more at www.mariakefalas.com

KATHRYN J. EDIN is the William Church Osborn Professor of Sociology and Public Affairs at Princeton University. The
author of nine books, Edin is widely recognized for using direct, in-depth observation to illuminate key mysteries about poverty: “In a field of poverty experts who rarely meet the poor, Edin usefully defies convention” (New York Times).
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Customers find the book interesting, well-written, and insightful. They say it's a great source of information on how economic status plays a huge role in parenting. Readers also mention the depth of research is extensive and the book is a must-read for sociologists and social workers.
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Customers find the book interesting, well-written, and easy to follow. They say it's a great sociology book for teenagers to understand the complexity of becoming a young mother.
"This book is an excellent read. Very interesting and gives you an understanding of the way SOME women think." Read more
"...Maybe by simply saying that this is probably the most important book ever written on understanding why low-income women value motherhood while..." Read more
"...It's a sociological study, but it doesn't read like a study. It's easy to follow and easy to read - there isn't a ton of jargon...." Read more
"...I was surprised that it was actually a pretty good book. I would not just pick this book up to read for fun, it is definitely more research based...." Read more
Customers find the book insightful, a great source of information, and fascinating. They say it's an eye-opener and a must-read for sociologists, social workers, and anyone who wants to understand how economic status plays a huge role. Readers also mention the depth of research is extensive.
"This book is an excellent read. Very interesting and gives you an understanding of the way SOME women think." Read more
"...This is a must read for sociologists, social workers, and really anyone who wants to learn about another culture right in their own backyards." Read more
"This book is the most informative and factual resource I have found for explaining the horrific rate of children growing up in poor communities..." Read more
"...That is why I got this book. It was an eye-opener. I finally understand why these women make those choices...." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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I will leave the book's details to several other reviewers who have covered the ground extremely well, but wish to emphasize that the authors dispel many myths concerning single mothers' attitudes toward marriage, and point out that 70% of low-income "single mothers" actually live with a boyfriend who may or may not take part in child-rearing and support. The public policy implications of the authors' statistics is simply too important to ignore. Children give the single mothers' lives meaning -- but note that it gives the mothers' lives meaning rather than give the children what they need to succeed or become well-adjusted as adults. In fact, as Ann Coulter pointed out in her much maligned book, "Guilty", the single mothers can't keep their promises. A mother's job is to prepare her children to leave home, and they rarely accomplish that.
Some sociologists will attack this book on the sample not being sufficiently broad, either racially or geographically, but those criticisms are small potatoes. Even if the authors' presentations are on point only seventy percent of the time (& I believe the percentage is much higher than that), the public policy and cultural implications are staggering. With the current trend toward bifurcating the American populace into two classes, the very rich and the poor, the rise in single mothers and their ensuing problems are far from peaking.
The authors use their technique of allowing the single mothers to speak for themselves truly brings home their situation, attitudes, and optimism (or lack thereof.) The book is almost exciting reading to anyone who cares about problems in American (or just Western) culture today. Even though the book was written (& researched) during the Bush 43 Administration, it is certainly even more timely now for Obama and subsequent administrations. I don't want to put my own spin on this review, but the State makes a very poor father and is getting worse.
I recommend this book to everyone as one of the most important books produced in this decade. The authors are to be commended. This work will enhance every reader's knowledge and understanding of a modern phenomenon that is rapidly changing our entire way of life.
I will not give away the insights that the book provides, as to boil the whole book down to a few sentences is impossible and would be a great disservice. But "Promises" not only answered my questions, it helped me put the assumptions and worldview I had into context.
I always assumed that these impoverished clients "should" have held my middle-class values: schooling, a stable job, marriage, and then children. I assumed they were either too lazy or clueless or stubborn to conform to such an obvious progress. But what this book covers is truly a different subculture with extraordinarily different values. It's a culture where meaning is only found through being a mother, and abortion an ultimate sin. It's as foreign an idea to me and my ilk as Saudia Arabia's cultural treatment towards women.
Do I agree with these values? No; much like how I disagree with the subjugation of women in Saudai Arabia, I believe my value system makes more sense and leads to a better outcome. But I can now understand and appreciate the cultural mindset that these woman are raised in, and it makes their decisions a bit more logical (for a given value of "logic").
This also helped me understand a lot of the solutions I thought I knew were false. I thought throwing condoms and sex education at the poor would help stem the tide of teenage births. I was completely wrong; the kids already know how to use condoms, and they are aware of sexual dangers, but for reasons made clear in the book, they choose to ignore them for specific reasons. This is a brilliant template that social activists can work upon to try to bring more stability and wiser decisions to those in poverty.
This is a must read for sociologists, social workers, and really anyone who wants to learn about another culture right in their own backyards.
My only problem with the book is that the authors decry the lack of marriable men in the communities in which these women live, yet seem blinded to (or choose not to acknowledge) the fact that what these young women do ensures the perpetuation of these dismal prospects. Despite the best intentions of these young mothers to provide the material necessities of life to their young children, all of the empirical evidence shows that growing up without the biological father in the home increases dramatically the chance that their children (both boys and girls) will fail to succeed in life. Until we change the value system that these young people grow up with, hope for improving the conditions of the next generation are doomed to failure.
Top reviews from other countries
Don't read this if you want to keep your sympathy and faith in humanity.






