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on November 14, 2012
The plot for this book sounded very interesting, and I was genuinely looking forward to reading it.

I gave it three stars ONLY because I thought the storyline and ideas were great: a designated Protector falls in love with his sovereign, there are some fantasy fiction elements to the whole thing, bad guys to fight off, and an arranged marriage that is to no one's liking. Nicely thought out.

My gut feeling, though, was to give it one star, because the actual execution of the writing was so, so, SO poorly done. Misuse of words kept ripping me right out of the story in frustration. On multiple occasions, I almost stopped reading the book, but wanted to finish and give the storyline a chance.

Learn the difference between "you're" and "your"; read up on homophones and figure out why "peaked" doesn't mean the same thing as "peeked"; STOP RELYING ON SPELL-CHECK to catch your mistakes, so you don't type embarrassing things like "granite" instead of "granted" -- or my personal favorite, "Ludacris!" rather than "ludicrous!" when council members were shouting. Why would the council be shouting out the name of a rapper?

While the discretionary use of more or less commas is acceptable, depending on the author or editor, there are many situations where a comma is NOT optional, and this also was an issue that kept dragging me out of the story, as I was forced to re-read passages in order to figure out what the heck was going on and where the emphasis was to be placed. This seemed to happen most frequently when someone was speaking (no comma prior to the quotation) or when someone was being addressed directly (a comma is used to separate that person's name from what you're telling them; e.g. "Look at me Drake" should be "Look at me, Drake.") In one instance, early in the book, someone said something about "Jonathan Drake," and it took me a moment to realize the speaker was talking to Drake about someone named Jonathan, rather than talking about someone named Jonathan Drake. The correct usage would be something like, "She's over there with Jonathan, Drake."

All of the above-mentioned things are very basic for any writer. While I am glad for self-publishing ability, I fear it has created an entire generation of "authors" who have nothing more than a high school creative writing class under their belts with no real foundation.

A note to this author: Your mind is obviously creative enough to have thought up a good plot, as well as the details to make it work. Don't sell yourself short by assuming you can do it all without any advisors or help. You're only cheating yourself of readers in the long run. If you are serious about wanting to get your work out there and recognized as worth reading, take the time to do it right. Your work deserves your best.

I hope the second book of this series shows in improvement in your writing, because I am sincerely looking forward to reading more about Drake and Addison and the future of the kingdom.
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on October 7, 2012
Within the first twelve pages of the book, 'sequins' was spelled 'sequence', 'you're' was spelled 'your', and a glaring quantity of commas were either misplaced or missing.

The dialogue was wooden and halting. The plot itself was cliche in theme, even if the premise had a faint glimpse of originality.

Much, much more work needs to be done on this book before it merits full publishing. It needs serious proofreading, beta reading, and just... it needs to be fixed. I am not saying this to be mean to the author, because I know how hard it can be to get your work out there. I'm saying it because I hate to see new authors fail, and this caliber of work is a fast track to failing in this medium. With a serious overhaul, this book could be something. Right now, though, it's an high schooler's B-graded creative writing assignment.
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on December 20, 2012
Many reviews for this book are slamming the grammar, which is in need of some serious attention, but the story itself is a good one. I won't go into details about the story since so many reviewers will do it for me but I will say despite the grammatical errors, I found myself hooked from the beginning. It's a quick, enjoyable read and I'm looking forward to the next book.
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on January 10, 2013
This book was amazing! I loved the discreet love and romance between Drake and Addison. The male bond between Jonathan and Drake. The sisterly bond between Addison and Alexi. This book was a beautiful story and I would recommend it to anybody! This book was definitely one of my favorites! I can't wait to read the next book!! :)
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on December 9, 2012
good story short reading . wanted more from the story. would like to see other stories from this author. I still liked it
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on August 8, 2012
great
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on August 10, 2012
Wow for a first book I think it was amazing it usually takes me awhile to read a book but this kept my interest and I wanted more I cant wait for the next one to come out. Keep up the good work and hurry with the sequel I want to know what happens next. I am in the over. 50 club and have read a lot of books in my years but never written a reveiw just saying. GREAT JOB AND GOOD READ
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on August 12, 2012
I found this book to be interesting and a very good read. I loved how the narration changed from one person to another, so that you get the story from a couple of different viewpoints. This book has gained my attention and I cannot wait til the next one!
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on August 12, 2012
I have never been much of a book reader. A friend of mine introduced me to this one. Once I began reading, I couldn't put it down! !! Cant wait for the next one! Very well written.
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on October 21, 2012
I loved this book from the beginning.I read this book in one day . The only thing i was sad about was that book 2 was not out yet. Im ready to see what happens !!!
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