After reading quite a few self-help and self-examination books, this is the book I was waiting for. Although at first I was quite skeptical because of the age of the book (I though "Would there be something new for me, would the ideas be still valid?"), after first several pages doubts dissolved and I was entirely caught.
I believe all the reviews have said already enough, so I'll keep my review short. This book has all that I want from it:
- Down-to-earth style without exaggerations. Yet very strong and moving content, explaining how human brain works, what brings us happiness/more life, and how to achieve it.
- Positive :o). Gives reader so much energy into his life.
- No easy-read. Should be read definitely more times than once.
Simply put, this is a must read in the area of self-help/psychology books.
Some of favorite quotes:
"The self-image is changed, for better or worse, not by intellect alone, nor by intellectual knowledge alone, but by "experiencing." Wittingly or unwittingly you developed your self-image by your creative experiencing in the past. You can change it by the same method. " (page x)
"One of the most pleasant thoughts to any human being is the thought that he is needed, that he is important enough to help and add to the happiness of some other human being." (page 97)
"Since man is a goal striving being, he is functioning naturally and normally when he is oriented toward some positive goal and striving toward some desirable goal. Happiness is a symptom of normal, natural functioning and when man is functioning as a goal-striver, he tends to feel fairly happy, regardless of circumstances." (page 101)
"Our habits are not accidental, or happenstance. We have them because they fit us. They are consistent with our self-image and our entire personality pattern. When we consciously and deliberately develop new and better habits, our self-image tends to outgrow the old habits and grow into the new pattern. " (page 108)
"To give the other person credit for being sincere, if mistaken, rather than willful and malicious, can do much to smooth out human relations and bring about better understanding between people. Ask yourself, "How does this appear--to him?" "How does he interpret this situation?" "How does he feel about it?" Try to understand why he might "act the way he does."" (page 115)
"Man maintains his balance, poise, and sense of security only as he is moving forward--or seeking. When you think of yourself as having attained the goal, you become static, and you lose the security and equilibrium you had when you were moving towards something. The man who is convinced that he is "good" in the absolute sense, not only has no incentive to do better, but he feels insecure because he must defend the sham and pretense." (page 137)
"Regardless of your feelings, force yourself to mix and mingle with other people. After the first cold plunge, you will find yourself warming up and enjoying it if you persist. Develop some social skill that will add to the happiness of other people: dancing, bridge, playing the piano, tennis, conversation. It is an old psychological axiom that constant exposure to the object of fear immunizes against the fear. As the lonely person continues to force himself into social relations with other human beings--not in a passive way, but as an active contributor--he will gradually find that most people are friendly, and that he is accepted. His shyness and timidity begin to disappear. He feels more comfortable in the presence of other people and with himself. The experience of their acceptance of him enables him to accept himself." (page 139)
"If responding and reacting to negative feedback does not take us further down the road to our own goal--or serve our ends, then there is no need to respond at all. And, if response of any kind gets us off course, or works against us--then no response is the appropriate response." (page 199)
"If life adapts itself in so many varied forms to act as a means toward an end, is it not reasonable to assume that if we place ourselves in the sort of goal-situation where more life is needed, that we will receive more life?" (page 261)
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A human being always acts and feels and performs in accordance with what he imagines to be true about himself and his environment.Highlighted by 2,126 Kindle readers- You act, and feel, not according to what things are really like, but according to the image your mind holds of what they are like.Highlighted by 1,877 Kindle readers
- The self-image can be changed. Numerous case histories have shown that one is never too young nor too old to change his self-image and thereby start to live a new life.Highlighted by 1,630 Kindle readers
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Please try again later.Top reviews from other countries
Shaleen Dalal
One of the very best psychology and truly "self-help" books.
Reviewed in India on January 9, 2018