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The Psychology of Romantic Love: Romantic Love in an Anti-Romantic Age Paperback – January 31, 2008
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About the Author
Nathaniel Branden's pioneering work in the field of self-esteem over seven decades contributed to the evolution of the concept from obscurity to greater levels of clarity and acceptance. He wrote nearly 20 books on self-esteem, including such influential works as The Psychology of Self-Esteem, How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, and The Art of Living Consciously. In addition to his extensive work as a writer, Branden worked as a lecturer, therapist, and corporate consultant specializing in assisting modern businesses employ the principles of self-esteem to achieve greater levels of success. He also the founded The Branden Institute for Self-Esteem, a counseling center in Los Angeles, California. He died in 2014.
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We live in an age of increasing fascination with technology and self awareness gleaned from networking via screen vs seeing our reflections in the eyes of others.
While I am fascinated with what technology has revealed about human nature in studies that enable us to peer into the inner workings of body and brain and heart, the message of this non science based book rings true in these technologically driven studies:
Love is a reaction of body and brain and that 'chemistry' we feel is real.
Nurturing and sustaining love requires engaging in the moment authentically with an other-getting 'in the zone' where connecting generates deep admiration and creates the feelings of deep romantic love for which we strive.
Self-esteem is the basis of being able to love in that way that nurtures the growth, evolution, and full expression of an other. With self-esteem, we can feel and express admiration for the person we love.
Without self-esteem, we are prone to feeling the perceived threat that drives us to extinguish our admiration for the other and pulls us into jealousy.
Communicating our true feelings including fears is key to jump starting and sustaining the connection required for romantic love.
And when a relationship can not accommodate such vulnerable and real communication, it does not provide the potential for true romantic love - a good sign of when to hold, when to fold, when to walk away or run...
Branden reads as if he is speaking to you. Taking the time to think with this book, to respond in your head as you might in dialogue with him, makes the book a field for growing your self and opening your heart.