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Pulling Your Own Strings: Dynamic Techniques for Dealing with Other People and Living Your Life as You Choose Mass Market Paperback – February 4, 1994
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From the Back Cover
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer reveals how we all can prevent ourselves from being victimised by others and begin to operate from a position of power at the centre of our own lives. Asserting that we alone are responsible for how much we will be controlled by others, Dyer offers his practical plan for developing new attitudes toward the most common sources of victimisation and manipulation, such as family members and authority figures in the workplace.
For example, families can be tremendously coercive and demanding, but they can also be an immensely rewarding part of your life. Dyer shows how to cope with the negative side and contribute to the positive.
Also, in their working life many people stay in unfulfilling jobs because they feel constrained by their present experience or because they fear change. Dyer shows that by being enthusiastic and flexible, you can find the work that makes you happy.
In this modern–day classic, Dyer shows you how to stop being the victim in all aspects of everyday life and to take charge of your destiny.
About the Author
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer was the bestselling author of 20 books and had a doctorate in counseling psychology. He lectured across the country to groups numbering in the thousands and appeared regularly on radio and television. He passed away in August of 2015.
Top customer reviews
If you feel victimized, Wayne shows you how to stop feeling and being victimized. As he points out "It is almost impossible to victimize people who don't expect to be victimized, and who are willing to protest against those who want to subjugate them in any way. The problem of being victimized rests in you, not in all of those other people who have learned to pull your strings."
The first step to stop being victimized is to reclaim your freedom and assert control over your life. Practice self-realiance. "Never place TOTAL reliance in anyone other than yourself when it comes to guiding your own life," Wayne appropriately advises. Or, as Emerson said in Self-Reliance, "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."
Getting out of victim traps involves developing new habits. Healthy habits are learned the same way as unhealthy ones, through practice, after you have become aware of what you are going to practice.
In this book Wayne guides you through a four-part program of:
(1) learning how to size up your life situations
(2) developing a strong set of non-victim expectations and attitudes
(3) becoming aware of the most prevalent kinds of victimization in your life, and
(4) creating a set of principles which will guide you to detailed strategies for acting out a philosophy of life based on the unalterable notion that you are not going to become a victim.
Among different ways of being victimized, Wayne points out that if you use your imagination, you will find innumerable ways to victimize yourself. But by applying your imagination in constructive ways, you can, by the same token, find the means to eliminate your victim status. The choice is up to you. You can learn to stand up for yourself and to operate from strength.
I wonder if others also write reviews about this book and they don't get posted, which would explain why there are so little reviews on this book, which I wondered about because the book is so amazingly helpful for me.
Great for improving your self esteem.
Great for learning how to be assertive.
Great for dealing with life's hardships.
Great for dealing with difficult people.
Learn how to stick up for yourself.
Recognize the signs of blackmail and manipulation.
This book changed my life. I read many books after this one, and nothing compares.
"I have found the enemy and it is me". Many times we blame others for our bad decisions. And sometimes it even makes sense to blame them. But, very often, it is us that allowed ourselves to be pushed into doing something that we know we should not have done. Nobody can force you to do anything. No one can take advantage of you without your approval. Learn from this book how to protect yourself and stick up for your rights!
I read it out loud in the car when my husband and daughter and I were on a road trip. I was so glad to pass these ideas on to my daughter without seeming like it being a mother lecture. Years later she and her husband actually took me to a lecture by Dr. Dyer and we got to shade hands with him. It will always be one of the highlights of my life.
I have talked about this book to friends and family for 30 yrs. Long ago I gave away my copy to a dear friend. I wanted to be sure I had a copy for anyone that was at the point of hearing how they could only control their own behavior and not worry about others feelings and actions.