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Punished by Rewards: Twenty-fifth Anniversary Edition: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes Kindle Edition
|Length: 482 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
|Page Flip: Enabled||
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"Every parent, teacher, and manager should read this book -- and hurry." -- Thomas Gordon, founder of Parent Effectiveness Training
From Library Journal
- Mary Chatfield, Angelo State Univ., San Angelo, Tex.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
- File size : 2460 KB
- Publication date : September 30, 1999
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 482 pages
- ASIN : B004MYFLDG
- Publisher : Mariner Books; 25th Anniversary ed. edition (September 30, 1999)
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Language: : English
- Lending : Not Enabled
- Best Sellers Rank: #235,317 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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However, it is worth the read for those who want to learn and are open to being challenged on motivations and rewards.
To make this an easier read, you can just focus on one of the three topics that interests you and just read those chapters, they are work related, school related and children related chapters.
I think the bottom line is that "do this and you will get that" is an easy way to administer both rewards and punishments. It allows us to be "consistent" without requiring us to go deeper in understanding motivation and behavior of our children or employees. It allows us to believe that we have used effective "discipline" - again without having to engage in uncomfortable or difficult conversations.
Bottom line: Kohn makes a great case against "do this and you will get that." But the alternative is not as simple, and that is probably why we fall back to "do this..." so readily.
The second afterword was very long, I could not last till the end of it.
I am no scientist, but I certainly trust "good" science and find it triggers my thinking about what we can do differently. We are closer today than we were when Kohn first published his book to finding alternative methods of paying people that allow real high performing organizations to exist. It will be difficult for many organizations to change, but those who do will excel in the marketplace, I believe. I am in for the ride, thanks to Alfie Kohn. Thanks, Alfie!
Co-Founder, The New Brain for Business Institute
Co-Author, A New Brain for Business: Leadership Practices that Unleash the Very Best from Your People and Your Business
Top reviews from other countries
If you're not going to buy it please take away this message - you *should* actively comment on how you NOTICE your child's hard-work, efforts, abilities, strengths, eg "you've drawn a very colourful picture, tell me about it" "you climbed right up to the top all by yourself!" and it's okay to let your voice and tone speak for your approval, and direct your child to how they might feel "Wow! You must feel so proud of yourself"... However, do try and try as hard as you can not to JUDGE their work with a "well done" "good job" "it's beautiful" or other similar judgy compliment (even though it's a "positive" judgement) - because ultimately you want your child to learn not to rely on other people's praise, even yours, but to assess their own work and to be able to be proud of themselves even when the external praise doesn't come. If not they will never really be satisfied until every last person approves of their work, you want them to be happy with their own approval. You also don't want their brains to get a kick from praise because it will quickly rely on it (praise is essentially verbal/social reward) because it quickly forms a neuro-transmitter addiction - so they slowly lose the ability to feel our human natural internal reward for the things they learn and the things they do since it is overtaken for the need for more addictive external reward. Taken to the extreme you have a kid who only works/learns for money/toys/sweets or whatever, and when these things diminish the effort diminishes.
Also, please take away the idea that is absolutely absolutely beneficial and even essential to tell your child you love them and you are proud of them - just try to keep these unrelated to and separated in time from the things they have just done, as it sends a similar message that you love them because of what they achieve, which gives a message of insecurity "they won't love me if I stop achieving xyz". Your actions, your attention and your look of pride will tell them all they need to know on these occasions - so use these occasions to direct your child's attention to how they might feel IN THEMSELVES, how they should feel self-pride and enjoy their moment.
You can see, I've read and annotated my book to the extent that it fell apart, this is partly because it's a secondhand book (arrived in fine condition) but mostly that I have read the living heck out of it!