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Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce Paperback – May 4, 2010

4.7 out of 5 stars 78 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I am proud to recommend Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll's new book, Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce. It is very readable, but incorporates a vast amount of research as well as the author's own extensive clinical experience. Today, when so many children suffer the problems created by their parent's divorce, parents and the professionals who work with them during the transitions relating to divorce will find this book a great guide to helping their children cope more successfully."
-Robert J. Haggerty, M.D. former president of The W. T. Grant Foundation and The American Academy of Pediatrics

"Putting Children First provides an abundance of useful information for parents who are divorced, thinking about divorce, or in the process of divorcing. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll is a highly respected psychologist, researcher, and developer of programs for children. She draws on scientific research as well as her own clinical experience to provide clear guidelines for parents based on the best available evidence about what works. I strongly recommend this book to parents as well as mental health and legal professionals who work with children from divorced families."
-Paul R. Amato, Arnold and Bette Hoffman Professor of Family Sociology and Demography, Pennsylvania State University

"This book provides tremendously valuable insight and information about a child's thoughts and feelings and practical advice to parents, counselors and therapists dealing with the trauma accompanying divorce proceedings. Dr. Pedro- Carroll describes the fears and concerns of children and clearly articulates a sensitive way for parents to approach these issues so that families can move forward with their lives in a healthy way."
-Judge Sondra Miller, Director, NYS Unified Court System Office of Matrimonial and Family Law, and former Justice, Appellate Division of the NYS Supreme Court.

"By listening to children and combining a quarter-century of experience with the results of extensive research, Dr. Pedro-Carroll shares invaluable insights into the thoughts and feelings of children who experience what they often call "my divorce."...The guidance offered by this book is unique because it is based on an exceptional knowledge of what goes on in the minds of children and because of the blended sensitivity and pragmatism of the author."
-Lawrence F. Nazarian, MD, Clinical Professor of Pediatrics, University of Rochester School of Medicine & Dentistry

"I have known JoAnne Pedro-Carroll personally and professionally for over 20 years. She clearly is one of the country's top divorce experts. She stands alone in her combination of ground breaking research, keen clinical insights, and unmatched sensitivity to children's struggles through divorce. Her reputation alone will garner great interest in the book. Her knowledge and emotional understanding will surely keep this book on the shelves of divorced parents, therapists, lawyers, and bookstores for years to come."
-Robert E. Emery, Professor of Psychology

About the Author

Joanne Pedro-Carroll, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, researcher, therapist, and clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Rochester Medical Center. Dr. Pedro-Carroll founded and directed the Children of Divorce Intervention Program and her work has earned numerous awards including the American Psychological Association's Award for Distinguished Contributions in Public Service. She has been married for thirty years and is the mother of seven children and stepchildren. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Avery; 1 edition (May 4, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1583334017
  • ISBN-13: 978-1583334010
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (78 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #13,006 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
JoAnne Pedro-Carroll has brought together sound research, personal experience and the insights from her practice to enlighten parents and professionals alike. Putting Children First imparts wisdom of the highest order - that which responds to the hearts of children who were brave enough to voice their needs and struggles when their parents separated or divorced. With clarity and compassion, this book informs the receptive reader how to take care of themselves and their children to protect their long-term health and well-being. In my practice as a mediator, I have already recommended this outstanding book to my clients. It is a contribution of utmost caring to parents who are struggling to maintain sense and sensibilities in the midst of emotional upheaval and a guide to preserve stability and demonstrate their deepest love for their children.
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Format: Paperback
Having worked with children and families for almost thirty years I have read and recommended many self help books for the divorcing couple. Never have I seen any of them address specifics on visitation schedules for high divorce couples. We can't just keep telling people they have to get along for the sake of the children. This book looks at the reality that many divorces are and may remain high conflict and makes specific recommendations for those couples as well as cooperative parents. Fantastic to see this kind of detail!
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I am a financial professional working with folks who are ending or contemplating ending their marriage. While it might seem that most of my work would involve the financial aspects of their separation, we often discuss the many concerns they have about their children and how they may fare through the process. I have offered Dr. Pedro-Carroll's book to so many of my clients they seem to fly off my bookshelf. Parents are so relieved to have this book as a resource; it helps them refocus on how their children are also struggling to make sense of a world seemingly turned on its ear. I cannot express adequately enough the heartfelt thanks I receive from parents of children of all ages for connecting them to such sound and practical advice.

--Donna M. Maier, CDFA,AVA
Member of the Collaborative Law Association of the Rochester Area and International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
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As a parent who's primary concern is my young son, this book has been extremely helpful. It's broken out into age segments so you can get an idea of what to expect now, as well as what your child may feel and experience as they grow older. After reading several chapters, I ordered one for my future ex so he could understand how important it is to put our differences aside and make the transition as easy as possible for our son. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is going through a separation or divorce.
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This outstanding book treats the challenge divorce presents to parents with respect, but not alarm. Dr. Pedro-Carroll does not spare the reader the harmful consequences a badly handled divorce can have for children. However, in every chapter, the author lays out clear and feasible options that all parents can draw on to help them and their children make it through divorce successfully.

This book speaks to a wide range of audiences -- parents, grandparents, mental health and legal professionals as well as folks like myself with friends and family members who face the challenge of divorce. Throughout the book, author's use of the research literature is clear and convincing. The case studies she uses are pointed, poignant and highly instructive. I feel like I "know" some of the people she describes; and I deeply appreciate the empathy and understanding the author brings to their situations.

Readers can open this book to any page or read it from front to back. In either case, you'll learn something important and useful about what it means and what it takes for parents and children to "make it" through this difficult transition.
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I am a grandmother and felt compelled to educate myself about children and divorce as my daughter and son-in-law recently announced that they are getting a divorce after 15 years of marriage. It was very informative and I noticed from other reviews that it is a very good read. Children are hit very hard when parents decide to break up a marriage. All parents need to educate themselves as much as possible when it comes to telling their children about their parents breaking up their marriage as they wonder "what is going to happen to me". They have so many questions, insecurities and it also deals with how you should break the news to them according to their age. I think any one going through a divorce with children will benefit from this book. I did and so did my daughter.
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This is a good book for parents dealing with divorce. However, it is targeted to parents of younger children who are affected by divorce. However, I found it helpful even though my daughter is 19, despite the fact that it sometimes slips into the cliches of self-help type books.
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Format: Paperback
A month ago when asked to present information on Divorcing Parents to a group of NYC Divorce Meditators, I chose to use Dr. Pedro-Carroll's book as an example of what I consider to be the best research and practical advice available to date. I have been a divorce mediator and parent educator for many years now and each of the couples who come into my office always wants to know whether divorce always has a negative impact on children. And they want to know what they can do to prevent this . I always recommend Putting Children First for three reasons: Dr. Pedro-Carroll's research and experience in the field of divorce is exemplary; the descriptions of the developmental needs of children of different ages are very useful to all parents; and, the book's conclusion that parents can increase their child's ability manage many of the pitfalls of divorce. The message is optimistic and it is accompanied by practical suggestions for parents.
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