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Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence Paperback – March 4, 2003
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Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence
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When is the last time ANY 21 yr old actually THANKED a parent for something they did back when they were growing up?
The examples of cliques and their inner workings are so helpful to a parent. I still remember my mother saying "your REAL friends won't care if you don't have THOSE shoes, or THAT pair of jeans" Well things have changed, in many many ways. Now if you don't have THOSE shoes or THAT pair of jeans, you well COULD end up with no friends. Girls are much much meaner and more creatively sadistic than they ever were when I was in school. Granted I did graduate in 1978, in a very small town where nothing had changed in about 20 years. But I really did think "how much could things have changed?" Wow was I wrong.
Because of this book I realized my daughter was struggling to survive not only socially but literally. When her grades dropped off and she suddenly started skipping class, I was able to talk to her in a way that got her to actually open up to me about what was going on. I listened in a way I never would have before. I heard her pain, I understood her situation when she said it was almost impossible for her to get up every morning and drag herself to school. Where before I would have told her to suck it up and it couldn't be that bad, I now withheld any judgement and let her tell me what she wanted to do.
She did want to continue going to school, and did want to graduate and go to college but if she had to continue to attend the school she was currently attending none of that was going to be possible.
We found an awesome alternative high school with very small classes, teachers who truly cared about their kids, a relaxed atmosphere where she could be herself without someone judging her. The rules were extremely strict, no missing class, no being late, a dress code, and no second chances.
My girl went from skipping 2-3 days a week to being EARLY every single day. Her grades skyrocketed to straight A's in one grading period, doing the EXACT same work and following the same curriculum she had at her other school (this HS had kids from a 50 mile radius, and each kid had to follow their home district's curriculum and get the same credits as if they were attending their home district school).
At graduation, her principal made a small speech about each kid (the class was only 7 kids) and the speech about Katy was so inspiring I had to share it. Please see the video I posted, and remember, the girl this man is talking about, hated school, hated class, hated her teachers, hated all but a handful of her classmates, until I read this book.
READ IT READ IT READ IT!!!
I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!!