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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking Kindle Edition

by Susan Cain (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

4.5 34,064 ratings

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Experience the book that started the Quiet Movement and revolutionized how the world sees introverts—and how introverts see themselves—by offering validation, inclusion, and inspiration

“Superbly researched, deeply insightful, and a fascinating read, Quiet is an indispensable resource for anyone who wants to understand the gifts of the introverted half of the population.”—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project

NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY People • O: The Oprah Magazine • Christian Science Monitor • Inc. • Library Journal • Kirkus Reviews

What are the advantages of being an introvert? They make up at least one-third of the people we know. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over working in teams. It is to introverts—Rosa Parks, Chopin, Dr. Seuss, Steve Wozniak—that we owe many of the great contributions to society.

In Quiet, Susan Cain argues that we dramatically undervalue introverts and shows how much we lose in doing so. She charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal throughout the twentieth century and explores how deeply it has come to permeate our culture. She also introduces us to successful introverts—from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Passionately argued, impeccably researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet has the power to permanently change how you see yourself.

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January 24, 2012
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Open-plan offices have been found to reduce productivity and impair memory.
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Peer pressure, in other words, is not only unpleasant, but can actually change your view of a problem.
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The “Bus to Abilene” anecdote reveals our tendency to follow those who initiate action—any action.
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Gretchen Rubin says, “Superbly researched, deeply insightful, and a fascinating read”


	Bittersweet	Quiet Journal

Customer Reviews	2,119	200
Price	$10.48	$14.45
	The author of the book Quiet reveals the power of a bittersweet outlook on life, and why we’ve been so blind to its value.	Harness your hidden talents, empower communication at home and at work, and nurture your best self with this guided journal based on book Quiet.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Amazon Best Books of the Month, January 2012: How many introverts do you know? The real answer will probably surprise you. In our culture, which emphasizes group work from elementary school through the business world, everything seems geared toward extroverts. Luckily, introverts everywhere have a new spokesperson: Susan Cain, a self-proclaimed introvert who’s taken it upon herself to better understand the place of introverts in culture and society. With Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, Cain explores introversion through psychological research old and new, personal experiences, and even brain chemistry, in an engaging and highly-readable fashion. By delving into introversion, Cain also seeks to find ways for introverts and extroverts to better understand one another--and for introverts to understand their own contradictions, such as the ability to act like extroverts in certain situations. Highly accessible and uplifting for any introvert--and any extrovert who knows an introvert (and over one-third of us are introverts)--Quiet has the potential to revolutionize the “extrovert ideal.” –Malissa Kent
Amazon Exclusive: Q & A with Author Susan Cain

Q: Why did you write the book?
A: For the same reason that Betty Friedan published The Feminine Mystique in 1963. Introverts are to extroverts what women were to men at that time--second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. Our schools, workplaces, and religious institutions are designed for extroverts, and many introverts believe that there is something wrong with them and that they should try to “pass” as extroverts. The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and, ultimately, happiness.

Q: What personal significance does the subject have for you?
A: When I was in my twenties, I started practicing corporate law on Wall Street. At first I thought I was taking on an enormous challenge, because in my mind, the successful lawyer was comfortable in the spotlight, whereas I was introverted and occasionally shy. But I soon realized that my nature had a lot of advantages: I was good at building loyal alliances, one-on-one, behind the scenes; I could close my door, concentrate, and get the work done well; and like many introverts, I tended to ask a lot of questions and listen intently to the answers, which is an invaluable tool in negotiation. I started to realize that there’s a lot more going on here than the cultural stereotype of the introvert-as-unfortunate would have you believe. I had to know more, so I spent the past five years researching the powers of introversion.

Q: Was there ever a time when American society valued introverts more highly?
A: In the nation’s earlier years it was easier for introverts to earn respect. America once embodied what the cultural historian Warren Susman called a “Culture of Character,” which valued inner strength, integrity, and the good deeds you performed when no one was looking. You could cut an impressive figure by being quiet, reserved, and dignified. Abraham Lincoln was revered as a man who did not “offend by superiority,” as Emerson put it.

Q: You discuss how we can better embrace introverts in the workplace. Can you explain?
A: Introverts thrive in environments that are not overstimulating—surroundings in which they can think (deeply) before they speak. This has many implications. Here are two to consider: (1) Introverts perform best in quiet, private workspaces—but unfortunately we’re trending in precisely the opposite direction, toward open-plan offices. (2) If you want to get the best of all your employees’ brains, don’t simply throw them into a meeting and assume you’re hearing everyone’s ideas. You’re not; you’re hearing from the most vocally assertive people. Ask people to put their ideas in writing before the meeting, and make sure you give everyone time to speak.

Q: Quiet offers some terrific insights for the parents of introverted children. What environment do introverted kids need in order to thrive, whether it’s at home or at school?
A: The best thing parents and teachers can do for introverted kids is to treasure them for who they are, and encourage their passions. This means: (1) Giving them the space they need. If they need to recharge alone in their room after school instead of plunging into extracurricular activities, that’s okay. (2) Letting them master new skills at their own pace. If they’re not learning to swim in group settings, for example, teach them privately. (3) Not calling them “shy”--they’ll believe the label and experience their nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an emotion they can learn to control.

Q: What are the advantages to being an introvert?
A: There are too many to list in this short space, but here are two seemingly contradictory qualities that benefit introverts: introverts like to be alone--and introverts enjoy being cooperative. Studies suggest that many of the most creative people are introverts, and this is partly because of their capacity for quiet. Introverts are careful, reflective thinkers who can tolerate the solitude that idea-generation requires. On the other hand, implementing good ideas requires cooperation, and introverts are more likely to prefer cooperative environments, while extroverts favor competitive ones.

A Reader’s Guide for Quiet:The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking

By Susan Cain

Introduction

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society-from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.

Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.

Questions and Topics for Discussion

1. Based on the quiz in the book, do you think you’re an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? Are you an introvert in some situations and an extrovert in others?

2. What about the important people in your lives—your partner, your friends, your kids?

3. Which parts of QUIET resonated most strongly with you? Were there parts you disagreed with—and if so, why?

4. Can you think of a time in your life when being an introvert proved to be an advantage?

5. Who are your favorite introverted role models?

6. Do you agree with the author that introverts can be good leaders? What role do you think charisma plays in leadership? Can introverts be charismatic?

7. If you’re an introvert, what do you find most challenging about working with extroverts?

8. If you’re an extrovert, what do you find most challenging about working with introverts?

9. QUIET explains how Western society evolved from a Culture of Character to a Culture of Personality. Are there enclaves in our society where a Culture of Character still holds sway? What would a twenty-first-century Culture of Character look like?

10. QUIET talks about the New Groupthink, the value system holding that creativity and productivity emerge from group work rather than individual thought. Have you experienced this in your own workplace?

11. Do you think your job suits your temperament? If not, what could you do to change things?

12. If you have children, how does your temperament compare to theirs? How do you handle areas in which you’re not temperamentally compatible?

13. If you’re in a relationship, how does your temperament compare to that of your partner? How do you handle areas in which you’re not compatible?

14. Do you enjoy social media such as Facebook and Twitter, and do you think this has something to do with your temperament?

15. QUIET talks about “restorative niches,” the places introverts go or the things they do to recharge their batteries. What are your favorite restorative niches?

16. Susan Cain calls for a Quiet Revolution. Would you like to see this kind of a movement take place, and if so, what is the number-one change you’d like to see happen?

Review

“An important book that should embolden anyone who’s ever been told, ‘Speak up!’”—People

“Cain offers a wealth of useful advice for teachers and parents of introverts. . . . Quiet should interest anyone who cares about how people think, work, and get along, or wonders why the guy in the next cubicle acts that way. It should be required reading for introverts (or their parents) who could use a boost to their self-esteem.”—Fortune

“A rich, intelligent book . . . enlightening.”—The Wall Street Journal

“Charm and charisma may be one beau ideal, but backed by first-rate research and her usual savvy, Cain makes a convincing case for the benefits of reserve.”—Harper’s Bazaar

“A smart, lively book about the value of silence and solitude that makes you want to shout from the rooftops. Quiet is an engaging and insightful look into the hearts and minds of those who change the world instead of tweeting about it.”—Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology, Harvard University, author of Stumbling on Happiness

“As an introvert often called upon to behave like an extrovert, I found the information in this book revealing and helpful. Drawing on neuroscientific research and many case reports, Susan Cain explains the advantages and potentials of introversion and of being quiet in a noisy world.”—Andrew Weil, author of Healthy Aging and Spontaneous Happiness

“Those who value a quiet, reflective life will feel a burden lifting from their shoulders as they read Susan Cain’s eloquent and well documented paean to introversion—and will no longer feel guilty or inferior for having made the better choice!”—Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow and Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Management, Claremont Graduate University

“Susan Cain has done a superb job of sifting through decades of complex research on introversion, extroversion, and sensitivity—this book will be a boon for the many highly sensitive people who are also introverts.”—Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person

“Quiet legitimizes and even celebrates the ‘niche’ that represents half the people in the world.”—Guy Kawasaki, author of Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions

“Susan Cain is the definer of a new and valuable paradigm. In this moving and original argument, she makes the case that we are losing immense reserves of talent and vision because of our culture’s overvaluation of extroversion. A startling, important, and readable page-turner that will make quiet people see themselves in a whole new light.”—Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth

“Quiet elevates the conversation about introverts in our outwardly-oriented society to new heights. I think that many introverts will discover that, even though they didn’t know it, they have been waiting for this book all their lives.”—Adam S. McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church

“Gentle is powerful . . . Solitude is socially productive . . . These important counter-intuitive ideas are among the many reasons to take Quiet to a quiet corner and absorb its brilliant, thought-provoking message.”—Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Harvard Business School professor, author of Think Outside the Building

“Memo to all you glad-handing, back-slapping, brainstorming masters of the universe out there: Stop networking and talking for a minute and read this book. In Quiet, Susan Cain does an eloquent and powerful job of extolling the virtues of the listeners and the thinkers—the reflective introverts of the world who appreciate that hard problems demand careful thought and who understand that it’s a good idea to know what you want to say before you open your mouth.”—Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice

“An intriguing and potentially life-altering examination of the human psyche that is sure to benefit both introverts and extroverts alike.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“Cain gives excellent portraits of a number of introverts and shatters misconceptions. Cain consistently holds the reader’s interest by presenting individual profiles, looking at places dominated by extroverts (Harvard Business School) and introverts (a West Coast retreat center), and reporting on the latest studies. Her diligence, research, and passion for this important topic has richly paid off.”—Publishers Weekly

“This book is a pleasure to read and will make introverts and extroverts alike think twice about the best ways to be themselves and interact with differing personality types.”—Library Journal

“An intelligent and often surprising look at what makes us who we are.”—Booklist

About the Author

Susan Cain started the Quiet Movement, which revolutionized how the world sees introverts—and how introverts see themselves. She is also the author of Bittersweet: How Longing and Sorrow Make Us Whole. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, and elsewhere, and her TED Talk has been viewed more than 40 million times. She was named one of the world’s top 50 Leadership and Management Experts by Inc., and one of LinkedIn’s top ten influencers.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Today we make room for a remarkably narrow range of personality styles. We’re told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts—which means that we’ve lost sight of who we really are. Depending on which study you consult, one third to one half of Americans are introverts—in other words, one out of every two or three people you know. (Given that the United States is among the most extroverted of nations, the number must be at least as high in other parts of the world.) If you’re not an introvert yourself, you are surely raising, managing, married to, or coupled with one.

If these statistics surprise you, that’s probably because so many people pretend to be extroverts. Closet introverts pass undetected on playgrounds, in high school locker rooms, and in the corridors of corporate America. Some fool even themselves, until some life event—a layoff, an empty nest, an inheritance that frees them to spend time as they like—jolts them into taking stock of their true natures. You have only to raise the subject of this book with your friends and acquaintances to find that the most unlikely people consider themselves introverts.

It makes sense that so many introverts hide even from themselves. We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—the kind who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.” Sure, we allow technologically gifted loners who launch companies in garages to have any personality they please, but they are the exceptions, not the rule, and our tolerance extends mainly to those who get fabulously wealthy or hold the promise of doing so.

Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.

The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends. Velocity of speech counts as well as volume: we rank fast talkers as more competent and likable than slow ones. The same dynamics apply in groups, where research shows that the voluble are considered smarter than the reticent—even though there’s zero correlation between the gift of gab and good ideas. Even the word introvert is stigmatized—one informal study, by psychologist Laurie Helgoe, found that introverts described their own physical appearance in vivid language ( “green-blue eyes,” “exotic,” “high cheekbones”), but when asked to describe generic introverts they drew a bland and distasteful picture (“ungainly,” “neutral colors,” “skin problems”).

But we make a grave mistake to embrace the Extrovert Ideal so unthinkingly. Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions—from the theory of evolution to van Gogh’s sunflowers to the personal computer—came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B004J4WNL2
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown; 0 edition (January 24, 2012)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 24, 2012
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 4876 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Print length ‏ : ‎ 364 pages
Page numbers source ISBN ‏ : ‎ 0670916757

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Susan Cain

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SUSAN CAIN is the author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, and BITTERSWEET: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole. She has spent the last twenty years exploring a particular realm of human nature: the quiet, the sensitive, the thoughtful, the bittersweet. It has always seemed clear to her - and to her millions of readers - that this way of being can lead to a richer, deeper form of happiness. Susan’s books have been translated into 40+ languages, and her record-smashing TED talks have been viewed over 50 million times on TED and YouTube combined. Susan is the host of the Audible series, A QUIET LIFE IN SEVEN STEPS, and the QUIET LIFE online community. Join her on Substack at TheQuietLife dot net.

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Customers find the book fascinating, intelligent, and hard to put down. They also appreciate the well-researched, insightful, and thought-provoking points. Readers say it helps them understand introverts and is useful for both extroverts and introverts. However, some find the book boring, depressing, and repetitive.

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2,373 customers mention "Readability"2,269 positive104 negative

Customers find the book fascinating, intelligent, and outstanding. They say it's enlightening, exciting, and delightful. Readers also mention the book expertly demonstrates the value introverts offer the world.

"...This book taught me more about myself than I've ever known. It read like my biography...." Read more

"...It was very interesting. It involves industrial change, work force changes, and even parenting changes...." Read more

"...A superb book that was hard to put down.There were only two things about the book that I would have preferred were different however...." Read more

"...It's absolutely beautiful. So much so that it ought to inspire every reader to analyze their own lives and become better, well rounded individuals...." Read more

2,222 customers mention "Insight"2,080 positive142 negative

Customers find the book well-researched, insightful, and thought-provoking. They say it offers explanation and encouragement to introverts. Readers also appreciate the detailed survey. In addition, they mention the research gives the book credibility and can be life-altering.

"...The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt..." Read more

"...Function well without sleep (pg. 3)Good at negotiating because their mild-mannered disposition allows them to take strong/aggressive positions..." Read more

"...The ideal person is outgoing, friendly, loud, charismatic, and charming, certainly not qualities that your average introvert posses and as such get..." Read more

"...For introverts in particular, the validation Cain gives is valuable, and the advice, split infinitives notwithstanding, is worth remembering: “your..." Read more

592 customers mention "Insight into introverts"565 positive27 negative

Customers find the book insightful into introverts. They say it helps extroverts understand them, and is a must-read for both introverts and extroverts. Readers also mention that the book goes to great lengths to distinguish introversion from shyness.

"...the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do...." Read more

"...My favorite thing about this book was how it showed that introverts have strengths just by being who they naturally are...." Read more

"...2. Introverts are creative and prefer to be alone and focus on one task at a time.3...." Read more

"...Introverts dream vividly and often recall their dreams the next day...." Read more

39 customers mention "Authenticity"39 positive0 negative

Customers find the book credible, truthful, and well-researched. They appreciate the clear facts and references. Readers also say the book validates introverts and supports them.

"Susan Cain takes us on an honest, revealing and well-researched journey through arguably the most important factor of the healthy human psyche: the..." Read more

"...of weaving real-life stories and examples through a scientific, evidence -based, well-researched examination into the world of introverts...." Read more

"...As an introvert myself, I found this book both insightful and confirming...." Read more

"...book is really well written and proves again and again to be a credible source...." Read more

95 customers mention "Pacing"38 positive57 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the pacing of the book. Some mention it's fast and easygoing, while others say it takes forever to get through and is hard to follow.

"...They are a bit shy and slow to open up...." Read more

"...This trait is present at birth, and does not change...." Read more

"...Difficult to finish." Read more

"...He functions quite well - to all, he would appear to be an extrovert. He is not...." Read more

196 customers mention "Boredom"48 positive148 negative

Customers find the book boring, repetitive, and depressing. They also say some chapters aren't particularly interesting. Readers mention the cumulative effect is bizarrely depressing and not a light read.

"...It's annoying and frankly pathetic. Really? The author has to use exclusively Democrat public figures as good examples?..." Read more

"...The last chapter specifically uses too many partial sentences and doesn't wrap things up well...." Read more

"I found it boring and kind of hard to read and stay focused on it, I didn't bother finishing the book" Read more

"...—neither overstimulating nor under-stimulating, neither boring nor anxiety-making...." Read more

58 customers mention "Print size"4 positive54 negative

Customers find the book overly long. They also say the sentences are at times very long and the chapters are too long. Readers mention the font is too small to read.

"...I gave it four stars only because it is extremely long, and I found a lot of it tedious to read...." Read more

"...I sometimes felt that the stories could have been shorter, and that the author could have made her points more succinctly...." Read more

"...I found it overly long, hence the 4 star rating - a lot of research and findings are extremely interesting but a little similar...." Read more

"...That said, it is way, way, way, way too long for what it should have been -- a must-read, revolutionary, compelling book...." Read more

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Karen Hall

This Book Saved My Life. Not An Exaggeration.

Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2014

Verified Purchase

I believe this book saved my life. I'm not prone to melodrama, or to such excessively long reviews, but this is true, and so important to me, I have to say it. I've been working for years in an extremely busy law office. It's been growing harder and harder throughout the years for me to handle this job. Two months ago my boss fired my coworker, and I've since had to take on two people's work plus train multiple new people (as the first two didn't stay), all with constant, all day long interruptions, high-intensity demands, and a high level of multitasking. This has happened many times before, and while it was dreadful, I managed, but for some reason this time I just couldn't handle it. My entire life has been on hold since this started, I get home from work too exhausted to do anything except veg out for a couple hours and go to bed, and even weekends aren't much better. I was taking terrible care of myself and my life was falling apart. I did, in fact, feel like I was killing myself with this lifestyle, but I simply did not have the energy to fix any of it, or for that matter have any idea how to fix it.

I blamed myself - there must be something `wrong with me' because I can't handle the job. I wanted to leave, but thought, if I can't handle this job, how am I going to handle a new job? It'll probably be more of the same. I thought I was just getting soft because I was getting older (I'm in my late 40s).

I've always known I was introverted, but I didn't realize just what all that entailed - I thought it mostly meant `shy' or that I didn't like social settings.

This book taught me more about myself than I've ever known. It read like my biography. Almost every page had a new insight into why I think and feel the way I do. Throughout the book I saw my very own self described in new and empowering ways.

I learned that the job situation I'm currently in - the non-stop deadline demands, interruptions, never being able to work quietly or alone no matter how difficult a project was, phones ringing incessantly, people in my face all day long, etc. - especially when it's work that I actually don't care anything about personally - those are the exact circumstances that trip every one of a strong introvert's triggers. And I was subjecting myself to it 40 hours a week, for months.

It's no wonder I was so miserable and completely exhausted all the time. And as enlightening as it was to learn how many of the traits I've beat myself up for over the years are just a product of my introverted temperament (being highly sensitive, shutting down when subjected to stimulation overload, preferring to think a thing through before I speak - something I never get to do at work, as if it takes me more than 5 seconds to say something, I get interrupted and cut off), the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do. There is not something `wrong with me' that I have to `fix.' I am not weak or a failure because I don't feel or behave like my extremely extroverted boss (who thrives in high-energy crisis mode, and is bored unless he's doing 10 things at once - and expects the rest of us to keep up).

And far from it being an age-related `going soft,' what's probably in fact going on is that as I get older, it is becoming increasingly vital to me to be truer to myself.

I also found the information on the history of the "rise of the Culture of Personality" completely fascinating, it really gave me a new insight as to just exactly how we 'grew' this tendency to value extroversion over introversion. It makes so much more sense now.

This book gave me the courage I needed to start taking the steps to fix my work situation. Not only the courage, but the `permission' and the understanding - because I now know there isn't something wrong with me, but instead this is what I need to do to be my best self, and stop killing myself with stress. That I probably can find a place of value in the world by being myself, not trying to force myself to be something I'm not. I know I will meet resistance from my boss (I'd love for him to read this book, but unfortunately I know he won't), and I know I won't instantly fix everything in one day, and that I'll probably always need to be able to stretch myself a bit to do things that are not ideal for me ... but this book taught me that there are ways to make that work, too, if you understand and honor the need for recharging around such tasks, instead of trying to force yourself to do them 8 hours a day with no break. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, in either direction. Basically, I'm not out of the woods yet, but I now see the path out, and I have hope.

I think every introvert should read this book, because it will help you understand why you are who you are, and why that's a beautiful thing, not a character flaw. And I think everyone who knows an introvert should read this book, and quit trying to "fix us."

Which means pretty much the entire country (or world) should read this book. The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt there was something not quite right about you, or that you somehow needed to change to fit in or succeed. This book will give you back yourself, and in my case, my life. Thank you, Susan Cain, from the bottom of my heart (which is finally beating at a more normal speed because I'm not panicked about going to work for the first time in months).

Edited 11-13-14: It worked! I'm now working half-days at the office and half-days at home, and in a few weeks will transition to working from home full time. I never imagined that could happen. It's amazing what becomes possible when you finally realize you deserve what you already knew you needed.

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Jessica B.

Changed how I view myself and others

Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2014

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Quiet changed how I view introverts and made me realize how many biases there are against them. Our society values people who are outgoing and people who are shy are considered to have some sort of flaw even though that is their natural personality. I had never thought about or even realized how our society values a very “narrow range of personality styles. (pg. 3)” As an introverted person, I didn’t think I would have any biases against people who are labeled as shy. Was I wrong. Many shy people are encouraged to be social and change which gives them a feeling that something is wrong with them instead of them just having a different personality.

Introversion— along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness— is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are.

-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 4)

My favorite thing about this book was how it showed that introverts have strengths just by being who they naturally are. An example she used was Rosa Parks who was “shy and courageous (pg. 2).” Susan Cain points out that the Civil Rights movement wouldn’t have gotten started if Rosa Parks had been an outgoing and loud person. It succeeded because she was a quiet, well respected person and the fact that she stood up for herself gained more attention because it was easier for people to realize the huge injustice of it since she was acting against her personality.

Here are a few of the strengths that an introverted person naturally has:

Function well without sleep (pg. 3)
Good at negotiating because their mild-mannered disposition allows them to take strong/aggressive positions and be accepted more easily (pg. 8)
Think before they speak or act (pg. 8, 168)
Prepare more for speeches and negotiations (pg. 8)
Asks lots of questions and listens intently to answers that leads to strong negotiation skills (pg. 8)
Work slowly and deliberately (pg. 11)
Ability to focus intently on one task and high abilities of concentration (pg. 11)
Relatively immune to the temptation of wealth or fame (pg. 11)
Able to delay gratification (pg. 163)
Don’t give up easily (pg. 168)
Leadership style that wins people over (pg. 197)
Work independently which can lead to innovation (pg. 74)
I loved hearing the definition of an introverted person that wasn’t framed in a negative way compared to an extroverted person. An introverted person enjoys less stimulation which is why they tend to like things like reading. They recharge by being alone while extroverted people recharge by socializing. All introverted people are not necessarily shy. I really liked Susan’s illustration of how shyness and introversion were two different things.

Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.

- Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 12)

There’s a quiz in the book to see which end of the spectrum of introversion/extroversion you fall on. She states several times that no one is completely extroverted or introverted. I did get 15/20 on the test which means I fall heavily on the introverted side. So this book felt very relevant to me. But even if you don’t feel like an introverted person, this book has so much value because it’s pretty much guaranteed that you know or are related to someone introverted and it can help you understand and relate to them.

One epiphany I had about myself was learning that some introverted people are sensitive. There’s a study in the book about babies who had personality assessments when they were babies and again when they had grown up. They found the babies who were sensitive, who cried at loud noises and bad smells more easily turned out to be mellow, introverted adults. The babies who were easy going and didn’t react much to new things grew up to be more outgoing. It seems like it should be the other way around, but it makes sense. If an introverted baby is overwhelmed by stimulation, they choose to be around less stimulation as they become adults. I immediately called my mom when I read this study because I will never live down the stories of being the baby who was scared of the orange rug every time I sat on it, the lamp from just looking at it, and my aunt’s braces when she smiled. And when Susan Cain is talking about sensitivity she is using the psychological term.

Many introverts are also “highly sensitive,” which sounds poetic, but is actually a technical term in psychology. If you are a sensitive sort, then you’re more apt than the average person to feel pleasantly overwhelmed by Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” or a well-turned phrase or an act of extraordinary kindness. You may be quicker than others to feel sickened by violence and ugliness, and you likely have a very strong conscience.

-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 14)

It’s as if, like Eleanor Roosevelt, they can’t help but feel what others feel.

-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 138)

I wasn’t expecting this book to help me think about what I really want to do with my life. Introverts are more likely to ignore their own preferences for career choices. The author talks about her career choice as a lawyer and even though she was good at it, she didn’t enjoy or even want to do it. She listed three steps to finding out what you love to do.

First, think back to what you loved to do when you were a child. (pg. 218)
Second, pay attention to the work you gravitate to. (pg. 218)
Finally, pay attention to what you envy. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth. You mostly envy those who have what you desire. (pg. 218)
When I went through these steps I realized that I love reading and reviewing books. Go figure after studying music and then finance in college that I would eventually come back to reading which I have loved doing since elementary school. Blogging about books has been such a great outlet and way for me to write which I also loved doing. I had to giggle when I came across this quote because my husband can’t believe some of the things I post on my blog for the world to see sometimes.

Studies have shown that, indeed, introverts are more likely than extroverts to express intimate facts about themselves online that their family and friends would be surprised to read…

-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 63)

If being introverted is so great, why isn’t it valued in our society? There’s an entire chapter that talks about the shift in American culture to over-emphasize the value of extroverted people that led to a devaluing of introverted people. It was very interesting. It involves industrial change, work force changes, and even parenting changes. She compares other cultures to America’s (like China) and shows how their value of extroversion is not as strong or even the opposite and how that affects their culture. The biggest thing that contributed to extroversion being over-valued has to do with the business world. Loud, fast talking people are seen as leaders even if it negatively affects others. Harvard Business School teaches that true leaders have quick and assertive answers which might have led to many of the financial crises since the slow and cautious decision makers were mostly dismissed. There was a study in the book that questioned whether extroverted people are always the best leaders. It turns out they are excellent leaders if their employees are very passive, but in a work environment where the employees are more proactive an introverted leader is actually more efficient at utilizing the knowledge and experience of their employees.

You would think that as an introverted person it would be easy to parent an introverted child. That’s not necessarily true and I enjoyed the parenting tips in the book. I need to remember that my child is just sensitive to things that are new in general and not to label him as shy or anti-social.

I feel like I know myself a little better after reading Quiet. I can recognize now when I’m feeling overwhelmed from stimulation and I make it a point to take time to myself to read or spend time on my own. It’s made me a lot happier. I also have been standing up for myself more, but in my own way by asking lots of questions and not being afraid to speak my mind just because I’m not a loud person. It also made me realize the social pressures I had been putting on myself and my kids. I always felt guilty for not having “enough” play dates and social time. And by “enough” I mean daily play dates. I realize now that the pace of a few times a week makes both my and my kids happy. I don’t feel pressure to have them constantly doing something with other kids anymore. Most of all it helped me realize that I am not an anti-social person. Now that I’m aware that going out with lots of friends or to parties will drain me, I make time to wind down afterwards and I no longer turn down social invitations since I understand my personality better. I feel like for me, this book accomplished what Susan Cain wanted it to.

If there is only one insight you take away from this book, though, I hope it’s a newfound sense of entitlement to be yourself.

-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 16)

Overall, Quiet shifted my perspective on what it means to be introverted and I learned a lot about myself in the process. I highly recommend this book.

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Best of Both Worlds

Therapy in a Book

Reviewed in the United States on October 5, 2024

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This book has changed the way I view my past, present and future. It has changed the way I view myself and how to utilize my talents to their fullest potential. More importantly it also made it possible for me to relate to others better. A superb book that was hard to put down.
There were only two things about the book that I would have preferred were different however. The dominance of the American Democrat Party in modern publishing is reaching a fever pitch. It's annoying and frankly pathetic. Really? The author has to use exclusively Democrat public figures as good examples?
Second, like many self help books, there is an excess of anecdotes in the front end of the book. I skipped over those to get at the meat of the book. If you can stomach the political accolades and overlook the anecdotes, you will find a gem of a book. It can, as one reviewer remarked, save your life.

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Cindy Flores

Excelente

Reviewed in Mexico on September 20, 2024

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Muy buen libro

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Leandro Freire

Uma grande oportunidade de se conhecer melhor

Reviewed in Brazil on June 29, 2023

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O livro trouxe à tona vários aspectos da minha própria personalidade que eu não fazia ideia de que residiam aqui dentro. Recomendo a todos introvertidos.

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SW

Great book

Reviewed in Poland on October 22, 2024

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Love it explains a lot

Sami

Empfehlenswert

Reviewed in Germany on May 6, 2024

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Ein sehr gutes Buch zum motiviert und inspiriert, die jede Introvertiert lesen soll.

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ND

A Life-Changer for Introverts and Extroverts Alike!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 21, 2023

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I picked up "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" with the expectation of understanding introverts better, but what I found was an eye-opening revelation that has transformed the way I view myself and those around me.

Susan Cain's insightful exploration of the introvert-extrovert spectrum not only offers deep insights into the strengths and qualities of introverts but also serves as a wake-up call for extroverts like myself to better appreciate and harness the power of introversion. This book is not just for introverts; it's for everyone.

Cain's storytelling skills make this book an engaging and informative read. Her anecdotes and the extensive research behind her arguments blend seamlessly, making it accessible and compelling for a wide range of readers. I found myself nodding in agreement and often saying, "Aha, that's me!" or "I never thought of it that way."

"Quiet" is not just about the inherent qualities of introverts; it also delves into the societal bias towards extroversion and offers valuable advice on how to create a world that caters to both personality types. Whether you're an introvert seeking validation and guidance or an extrovert looking to understand and collaborate more effectively with your introverted counterparts, this book has something profound to offer.

In a world that often celebrates the loudest voices, "Quiet" is a refreshing reminder of the incredible strengths that introverts bring to the table. It has helped me appreciate the power of silence and solitude, and how crucial they are for creativity, leadership, and personal growth.

I highly recommend "Quiet" to anyone who wants to better understand the dynamics of introversion and extroversion and how they shape our lives and society as a whole. It's a game-changer, and I can't recommend it enough. Susan Cain's work is nothing short of brilliant, and this book deserves every one of its five stars.

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