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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking Paperback – January 29, 2013
Susan Cain
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“Cain offers a wealth of useful advice for teachers and parents of introverts. . . . Quiet should interest anyone who cares about how people think, work, and get along, or wonders why the guy in the next cubicle acts that way. It should be required reading for introverts (or their parents) who could use a boost to their self-esteem.”—Fortune
“A rich, intelligent book . . . enlightening.”—The Wall Street Journal
“Superbly researched, deeply insightful, and a fascinating read, Quiet is an indispensable resource for anyone who wants to understand the gifts of the introverted half of the population.”—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project
“A smart, lively book about the value of silence and solitude that makes you want to shout from the rooftops. Quiet is an engaging and insightful look into the hearts and minds of those who change the world instead of tweeting about it.”—Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology, Harvard University, author of Stumbling on Happiness
“As an introvert often called upon to behave like an extrovert, I found the information in this book revealing and helpful. Drawing on neuroscientific research and many case reports, Susan Cain explains the advantages and potentials of introversion and of being quiet in a noisy world.”—Andrew Weil, author of Healthy Aging and Spontaneous Happiness
“Charm and charisma may be one beau ideal, but backed by first-rate research and her usual savvy, Cain makes a convincing case for the benefits of reserve.”—Harper's Bazaar
“Quiet is a book of liberation from old ideas about the value of introverts. Cain’s intelligence, respect for research, and vibrant prose put Quiet in an elite class with the best books from Malcolm Gladwell, Daniel Pink, and other masters of psychological non-fiction.”—Teresa Amabile, Professor, Harvard Business School, and coauthor of The Progress Principle
“An intriguing and potentially life-altering examination of the human psyche that is sure to benefit both introverts and extroverts alike.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
“Cain gives excellent portraits of a number of introverts and shatters misconceptions. Cain consistently holds the reader’s interest by presenting individual profiles, looking at places dominated by extroverts (Harvard Business School) and introverts (a West Coast retreat center), and reporting on the latest studies. Her diligence, research, and passion for this important topic has richly paid off.”—Publishers Weekly
“This book is a pleasure to read and will make introverts and extroverts alike think twice about the best ways to be themselves and interact with differing personality types.”—Library Journal
“An intelligent and often surprising look at what makes us who we are.”—Booklist
About the Author
Named one of the top ten influencers in the world by LinkedIn, Susan Cain is a renowned speaker and the author of the award-winning books Quiet Power, Quiet Journal, and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Translated into more than forty languages, Quiet has appeared on many "best of" lists, spent more than seven years on the New York Times bestseller list, and was named the #1 best book of the year by Fast Company magazine, which also named Cain one of its Most Creative People in Business.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Today we make room for a remarkably narrow range of personality styles. We’re told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts—which means that we’ve lost sight of who we really are. Depending on which study you consult, one third to one half of Americans are introverts—in other words, one out of every two or three people you know. (Given that the United States is among the most extroverted of nations, the number must be at least as high in other parts of the world.) If you’re not an introvert yourself, you are surely raising, managing, married to, or coupled with one.
If these statistics surprise you, that’s probably because so many people pretend to be extroverts. Closet introverts pass undetected on playgrounds, in high school locker rooms, and in the corridors of corporate America. Some fool even themselves, until some life event—a layoff, an empty nest, an inheritance that frees them to spend time as they like— jolts them into taking stock of their true natures. You have only to raise the subject of this book with your friends and acquaintances to find that the most unlikely people consider themselves introverts.
It makes sense that so many introverts hide even from themselves. We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk- taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—the kind who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.” Sure, we allow technologically gifted loners who launch companies in garages to have any personality they please, but they are the exceptions, not the rule, and our tolerance extends mainly to those who get fabulously wealthy or hold the promise of doing so.
Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second- class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.
The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better- looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends. Velocity of speech counts as well as volume: we rank fast talkers as more competent and likable than slow ones. The same dynamics apply in groups, where research shows that the voluble are considered smarter than the reticent—even though there’s zero correlation between the gift of gab and good ideas. Even the word introvert is stigmatized—one informal study, by psychologist Laurie Helgoe, found that introverts described their own physical appearance in vivid language ( “green- blue eyes,” “exotic,” “high cheekbones”), but when asked to describe generic introverts they drew a bland and distasteful picture (“ungainly,” “neutral colors,” “skin problems”).
But we make a grave mistake to embrace the Extrovert Ideal so unthinkingly. Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions—from the theory of evolution to van Gogh’s sunflowers to the personal computer— came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.
Copyright © 2012 by Susan Cain. From the book QUIET: The Power Of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, published by Crown, a division of Random House, Inc. Reprinted with permission.
Product details
- Publisher : Crown; 0 edition (January 29, 2013)
- Language: : English
- Paperback : 368 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0307352153
- ISBN-13 : 978-0307352156
- Lexile measure : 1170L
- Item Weight : 10.9 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.2 x 0.9 x 8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #503 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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Top reviews from the United States
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I blamed myself - there must be something `wrong with me' because I can't handle the job. I wanted to leave, but thought, if I can't handle this job, how am I going to handle a new job? It'll probably be more of the same. I thought I was just getting soft because I was getting older (I'm in my late 40s).
I've always known I was introverted, but I didn't realize just what all that entailed - I thought it mostly meant `shy' or that I didn't like social settings.
This book taught me more about myself than I've ever known. It read like my biography. Almost every page had a new insight into why I think and feel the way I do. Throughout the book I saw my very own self described in new and empowering ways.
I learned that the job situation I'm currently in - the non-stop deadline demands, interruptions, never being able to work quietly or alone no matter how difficult a project was, phones ringing incessantly, people in my face all day long, etc. - especially when it's work that I actually don't care anything about personally - those are the exact circumstances that trip every one of a strong introvert's triggers. And I was subjecting myself to it 40 hours a week, for months.
It's no wonder I was so miserable and completely exhausted all the time. And as enlightening as it was to learn how many of the traits I've beat myself up for over the years are just a product of my introverted temperament (being highly sensitive, shutting down when subjected to stimulation overload, preferring to think a thing through before I speak - something I never get to do at work, as if it takes me more than 5 seconds to say something, I get interrupted and cut off), the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do. There is not something `wrong with me' that I have to `fix.' I am not weak or a failure because I don't feel or behave like my extremely extroverted boss (who thrives in high-energy crisis mode, and is bored unless he's doing 10 things at once - and expects the rest of us to keep up).
And far from it being an age-related `going soft,' what's probably in fact going on is that as I get older, it is becoming increasingly vital to me to be truer to myself.
I also found the information on the history of the "rise of the Culture of Personality" completely fascinating, it really gave me a new insight as to just exactly how we 'grew' this tendency to value extroversion over introversion. It makes so much more sense now.
This book gave me the courage I needed to start taking the steps to fix my work situation. Not only the courage, but the `permission' and the understanding - because I now know there isn't something wrong with me, but instead this is what I need to do to be my best self, and stop killing myself with stress. That I probably can find a place of value in the world by being myself, not trying to force myself to be something I'm not. I know I will meet resistance from my boss (I'd love for him to read this book, but unfortunately I know he won't), and I know I won't instantly fix everything in one day, and that I'll probably always need to be able to stretch myself a bit to do things that are not ideal for me ... but this book taught me that there are ways to make that work, too, if you understand and honor the need for recharging around such tasks, instead of trying to force yourself to do them 8 hours a day with no break. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, in either direction. Basically, I'm not out of the woods yet, but I now see the path out, and I have hope.
I think every introvert should read this book, because it will help you understand why you are who you are, and why that's a beautiful thing, not a character flaw. And I think everyone who knows an introvert should read this book, and quit trying to "fix us."
Which means pretty much the entire country (or world) should read this book. The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt there was something not quite right about you, or that you somehow needed to change to fit in or succeed. This book will give you back yourself, and in my case, my life. Thank you, Susan Cain, from the bottom of my heart (which is finally beating at a more normal speed because I'm not panicked about going to work for the first time in months).
Edited 11-13-14: It worked! I'm now working half-days at the office and half-days at home, and in a few weeks will transition to working from home full time. I never imagined that could happen. It's amazing what becomes possible when you finally realize you deserve what you already knew you needed.
Please forgive me for being too upfront or dramatic, but to put things in perspective I have made repeated attempts on my own life over the last 20 years and, not surprisingly, been plagued by severe, chronic, and recurrent depression and anxiety since early childhood. I believe this book has been a major turning point for me. No longer do I see myself as ‘broken’, ‘sick’, or ’hopeless’, but just an introvert in an extrovert's world. Since reading it, my mental health has improved drastically. And while I'll always have the tendency to be hard on myself, this book and its insights have allowed me to grant myself some compassion and room to breathe. Now I see my biggest ailment all along has been trying to fit into patterns of behavior which were fundamentally against my nature.
A prime example from my life: I called myself weak if I had trouble working 50+ hours a week the way my peers seemed to do without problem. Then, just to meet expectations, I would force myself to go out after work with the same coworkers I had just spent all day around when what I truly wanted was time alone in order to decompress. What happened over and over again is I would push myself until I developed migraines or other physical symptoms. I ignored my body's signals, believed it was possible to deny my needs, and thought that pushing through the pain would be rewarded. No wonder I was so unhappy. If I feel like this, I know there must be others who do too.
The research cited in this book show there are clear neurological differences in the way introverted brains process sensory information. Those findings told me that I truly am hard-wired this way. If the way I take in the world cannot ever be changed, then it's up to me to find the grace to say “This is just the way I am.”
Today I realize I cannot change who I am at the core, but I can learn to love myself. It is also my duty to navigate through life in ways that are sustainable and healthy for me, and to disregard the ‘shoulds’ which were making me ill. We of this personality type can not only improve our own existences, but also possess the ability to make the world better and more well-rounded. Indeed, society can benefit from our unique perspective if it would only take the time to listen to our carefully-formulated and often soft-spoken contributions.
So far I don't yet have a success story of how I have used this knowledge of myself to bring me from rags to riches. But I have moved away from traditional employment to more freelance work and flexible telecommuting positions. I hope that armed with this newfound self-acceptance I will eventually be able to make my introversion work for me, rather than pressuring myself to 'succeed' in spite of this trait. I guess I need to change my definition of success from financial wealth and externally recognized achievements, to one that centers around my internal balance and contentment day-to-day. I’m still a work in progress.
For now, I try to do my part by reaching out to fellow introverts, recommending this book, and letting them know I find them beautiful just the way they are. And I make sure to plan alone time into my days and activities in order to maintain my mental stability.
My wish for everyone who feels like an outsider is to read this book. Chances are you're just an introvert and either don't know it, or have been taught that extroversion is the only way. Once you become comfortable with yourself, the world and its possibilities will open up. Please read this book.
Top reviews from other countries

What if your child is an introvert and does not like to be in the centre of public attention, prefers to have a deeper relationship with a smaller group of friends and occasionally needs to recharge the energy level by being on his/her own?
My daughter turned 8 this week and she did not want to have any birthday party. She does not enjoy competitions, she is uncomfortable joining new groups and takes her time to make new friends. She enjoys playing imaginary games or reading a book. At the same time, when at home or with a small group of friends, my daughter is a bubbly, chatty girl.
As a (mostly) extrovert mum, I have made my share of mistakes with my child. When adults try to talk to my daughter and she does not reply, I jump in with the comment, “She is shy”. Worth of it, I would push my daughter to talk to adults (like ordering in the restaurants) to the extent that she would get so nervous and get a tick. That made me stop and think. I started to look for help in some books and , luckily, I came across a wonderful book by Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop.
The book does not only explain the nature of introverts and helps to understand their character better, but also gives practical advice how to make sure you help introverts not to go against their nature but let them flourish in the culture of extroverts.
Thank you Ms Cain for such a wonderful gift to the parents!

I have faced a lot of people asking the same questions repeatedly like
Why are so quiet? What are you thinking the whole time?
What will you do at home the whole day?
Why don't you mingle with all in any kind of gatherings? You look so serious is there any problem? And in addition to this, I experience a distressing and weird reaction of my hand getting sweat and hearing my own heartbeat whenever I stand up in my classroom to speak up feeling overwhelmed while entering a shopping mall or a public market. These are the questions and experiences faced and felt for which I don't any kind of answer. So I started to search on the internet and even had a thought of consulting a psychiatrist but I didn't.
In the process, I came to know the people who are quiet, shy, solitary, etc are considered as a category called introverts. From then I have been searching to know more about introverts like articles, videos, books, etc. I have watched Susan Cain's Ted talk and longed to read this book. After reading this book I have an answer to all my questions and struggles personally experienced.
The book was well written. It gives us a detailed history of America on how the culture of outgoing, assertive, showmanship prevailed during the 20th century. It tells us the transformation of the culture of character to the culture of personality in a short period. It bursts the myth of charismatic leadership that even quiet people who think before they speak can be good leaders in their own ways. Extroverts and Introverts have their own pros and cons in every position in life and society.
The second part goes into the brains of introverted kids and tries to explore the reasons for introverted behavior whether it depends on the nature of their mind or can be nurtured while growing depending on their environments.
The next part describes us about relationships with introverts as it is said that for every three people there is one introvert so it can be your partner, brother, sister, friend and children.
It gives a detailed description and advice on how to understand and empathize with your relationships.
It is a Good Book and a definite read for everyone to understand the people around you because one third to half the world's population are introverts.
It answered all my questions about my personality, I kind of felt normal not an alien😁 anymore after reading this book.

Reviewed in India on March 29, 2019
I have faced a lot of people asking the same questions repeatedly like
Why are so quiet? What are you thinking the whole time?
What will you do at home the whole day?
Why don't you mingle with all in any kind of gatherings? You look so serious is there any problem? And in addition to this, I experience a distressing and weird reaction of my hand getting sweat and hearing my own heartbeat whenever I stand up in my classroom to speak up feeling overwhelmed while entering a shopping mall or a public market. These are the questions and experiences faced and felt for which I don't any kind of answer. So I started to search on the internet and even had a thought of consulting a psychiatrist but I didn't.
In the process, I came to know the people who are quiet, shy, solitary, etc are considered as a category called introverts. From then I have been searching to know more about introverts like articles, videos, books, etc. I have watched Susan Cain's Ted talk and longed to read this book. After reading this book I have an answer to all my questions and struggles personally experienced.
The book was well written. It gives us a detailed history of America on how the culture of outgoing, assertive, showmanship prevailed during the 20th century. It tells us the transformation of the culture of character to the culture of personality in a short period. It bursts the myth of charismatic leadership that even quiet people who think before they speak can be good leaders in their own ways. Extroverts and Introverts have their own pros and cons in every position in life and society.
The second part goes into the brains of introverted kids and tries to explore the reasons for introverted behavior whether it depends on the nature of their mind or can be nurtured while growing depending on their environments.
The next part describes us about relationships with introverts as it is said that for every three people there is one introvert so it can be your partner, brother, sister, friend and children.
It gives a detailed description and advice on how to understand and empathize with your relationships.
It is a Good Book and a definite read for everyone to understand the people around you because one third to half the world's population are introverts.
It answered all my questions about my personality, I kind of felt normal not an alien😁 anymore after reading this book.


The writing is an excellent mix between research, case studies and thoughtful conclusions, all balanced so it never feels boring or overwhelming. There is a section of endnotes, and because I was reading the Kindle version, the notes were all linked – if you click on the note, it takes you to the endnotes with a longer explanation! I get happy about the little things.
The ideas are also incredibly interesting. Not everything will apply to all introverts, but I’d recommend this book to anyone – it’s really interesting to be challenged on how I view the world from an introvert perspective (like arguing – raising your voice means an attack! But for extroverts, it’s a sign of passion and involvement) and it’s really interesting to realise how those difference shape society and interactions with others.
It’s also so, so reassuring. This is me. This is some reasons why I might do the things I do, why I don’t like parties in a certain format, why I need down time when other people don’t. It’s being reminded that it’s ok to be different, and that actually there are other people out there who are similar – even if I live and work in a world that seems full of extroverts, it’s ok to need alone time, and that my strengths don’t have to lie in the same things – listening, thoughtfulness and consideration are all important, even if they come at a cost of an immediate answer or participation in small-talk. It was also reassuring to realise that being able to extrovert on occasion is normal – it just comes at more of a cost to introverts than it does to extroverts!
Interesting, thoughtful, readable and inspiring – the kind of book that leaves you thinking about it a long time after you’ve shut it.

I got this book on a recommendation on a forum where I was researching about how to be more confident a person. I've been struggling recently, becoming more senior in my role at work and so have felt pressured to be more comfortable in my own skin and get my ideas across in a way that people listen. It just doesn't come naturally to me, and I was starting to judge myself for it and feel like I wasn't good enough because everybody expects you to be a particular way.
Well, after reading this book, I would challenge anybody who makes me feel like it's not okay to be the way I am and would explain that even though I am quiet, the world still needs people like me just as much as it needs people that can grab attention from everybody in a room. And I also understand that even though I might need to be a "pseudo-extrovert" at times and can learn how to be good at public speaking and will still need to put myself in uncomfortable situations for the sake of things I believe in, I still need down-time and respect the fact that I am happiest when I have time to recharge at home or spend time with my family in a calm and cosy setting. I also think this book will help me when I have children in making sure that whether I have an introverted or extroverted child, they have all the support they can from me no matter what.
Susan Cain has an amazing writing style and I've never been kept interested to read a book like this from start to finish, as it has a lot of references to studies and usually I find this quite boring in other non-fiction books to do with health. But she keeps you involved, and forever writes about things that I'm guessing a lot of people can relate to whilst you carry on reading. She also reflects on a lot of experiences she's had with various people - again, something I don't usually enjoy, but it is written so well that I was never bored for a moment.
The book is quite long and has smaller writing than a lot of books I read, but honestly - read it. If you class yourself as an introvert, just buy it. It will change your life.

To be brutally honest, as an extrovert, I was very sceptical about this book - I was under the impression it would be soppy and introverts playing the victim card. I could not have been any more wrong!
For me this book was such an eye-opener (even though I have done MBTI before and was fairly well familiar with E v/s I) into understanding, not just introverts, but myself as an extrovert.
I could not put the book down once I started it and I would recommend everyone to read it - I've actually recommended it in my book club at work. Don't assume, as I did, that only introverts will have something to take from this book. If, like me, your other half is an introvert, this book could really help improve communication in your couple.
Talking is not always necessary - a good book and a cuppa works just as well!
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