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Quivering Daughters Paperback – June 30, 2010

4.3 out of 5 stars 23 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 270 pages
  • Publisher: Darklight Press (June 30, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0984468609
  • ISBN-13: 978-0984468607
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,530,201 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

A Kid's Review on August 29, 2010
Format: Paperback
I began reading Hillary's blog early in 2010 after my older sister ran away from home (literally). My dad had always threatened to drag us back home by the hair (if necessary) and I considered that "normal."

After reading a couple articles, I was crying so hard I had to wait until the next day to read more. Everything she said was like an arrow into my heart. Her real and direct way of talking. The grace and love that exudes from every word-- it was like I was waking up from 19 years of drugged sleep.

I could not read the book straight through, I had to put it down for a couple of days because it was so overwhelming for me. Almost everything she said...it was like she had been living alongside me. I rate it as one of the most influential books I have ever read.

For all the low-raters out there-- I know what it means to have the 7th (and 8th) child laid in my arms and feeling so upset, even though I was more of a mother to them than my mom sometimes. I remember crying for hours because my mom told me I was not being a good caretaker for #8. I wrote in my diary (and later repented for being so angry) about how he was MY baby, and she had no right to tell me I was not being a good mother to him.
I remember being given the nickname "huffy" because I would sigh when I was asked to do (another) chore, or cook dinner, or fold everyone's laundry.
I still have trouble with a guy washing dishes. I feel guilty and have to restrain myself from getting up and telling him that I will do it and he can go sit down. I feel guilty initiating a conversation. I feel guilty when I read a version of the Bible that is not the NKJV. When people talk about family, I draw a blank. It means almost nothing to me.

Hillary's book was the first step of my healing. I pray that many, many other girls who have been wounded will find it just as amazing and helpful.
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In the amazing movie, Amazing Grace, that recounts the true story of abolitionist William Wilberforce and his long fight against the British slave trade, there is one scene that will forever stand out in my mind.

Frustrated by the apathy, if not arrogance, he encountered among those who were detached from the realities of slave life, Wilberforce invited a group of Britain's high society political patrons for a dinner cruise, pampering them with the best food and wine, first rate servants, and an impeccable string quartet.

As the guests finished their meal, their boat laid anchor alongside a ship called the Madagascar and Wilberforce introduced his guests to a slave ship that had just transported its latest cargo. Explaining that the voyage had begun with over 600 slaves but that 2/3 of them had died along the way, one by one, the horrified dinner guests, now covering their noses with fine linen handkerchiefs, realized that what they smelled was the stench of human death.

In a clear and simple voice, Wilberforce confirmed, "God has created all men equal," giving his guests a starting jolt of the reality of slavery and making clear why he was so passionately opposed to it. Wilberforce did not simply say "yes, there might be abuse of some Africans." Instead, he declared that the institution of slavery itself was a horrible evil.

I could not help but think of Wilberforce and his zeal to defend those who could not defend themselves as I picked up Hillary McFarland's Quivering Daughters for the first time. Exposing the reality of life for many daughters within the patriocentric paradigm, Hillary turns this movement on its head by revealing the dark side its leaders don't want to admit exists.
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To everyone who loves to look with admiration upon those parents who have taken a seemingly impossible task upon themselves to raise ten or twelve children in a conservative atmosphere, you need to read this book and have the veil lifted from your eyes, because the perfectness apparent to an outsider is a farce. It's an illusion that is so subtle that you can be staring victims of the worst kinds of abuse right in the face and not realize it.

When you see the uber-conservative families that obviously belong to a system that practices patriarchy and conservativism in its purest sense, the idea that comes to mind is that they have something you don't have. Peace, an ability to focus more purely upon God, and an ability to go without fleshly desires to such an extent that they can raise a huge family that acts perfectly in public. What is not apparent is what the children in such families have written in this book, Quivering Daughters. What isn't obvious is that such 'Christian' performance in public comes at a tragic cost. Mennonites, Charityites, Amish, and so on, are not brave. They're not people who've grasped a deeper truth of God and have taken a bold step that others are too afraid to take. They're very much a needy people, insecure, and terrified of so much as looking like normal human beings who stumble and err like any other creature affected by The Fall.

Such is the case for quivering daughters. They're raised to be dependant, raised to be second parents of the children, raised to absorb the insults and condemnations of their parents' insecurities, and worst of all- raised to think that this is all a result of trying to obey God.
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