- Audible Audiobook
- Listening Length: 7 hours and 54 minutes
- Program Type: Audiobook
- Version: Unabridged
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
- Audible.com Release Date: August 9, 2016
- Whispersync for Voice: Ready
- Language: English
- ASIN: B01ITUB6WS
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
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Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child Audible Audiobook – Unabridged
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Some may say, that's all fine and fuzzy and warm, but my kid needs discipline. Dr. Greene spends a good deal of time explaining why this method will achieve your aims better and faster than a more authoritarian approach. Using this approach to problem-solving doesn't mean you give up on discipline; it instead offers a more empathetic, constructive and effective approach to discipline, to helping your child to meet your expectations. That being said, Dr. Greene also points out that our expectations as parents should also be congruent with the natures of our children, and that's an important point, too. Sometimes it is we parents who must change our points of view.
This book is already changing my life. Probably like a lot of other parents, I've sort of been wandering around in the desert in terms of my approach to discipline; I've been trying to persuade, coax, bribe, cajole, and demand my kids into good behavior. My kids and I have had many discussions about good behavior, character, manners and responsibility, and when they have made poor choices, we have discussed what better choices could have been made, but sometimes they just weren't getting to where they needed to be. When they were very little, pediatricians and others strongly recommended time outs and consequences for misbehavior, and when those sometimes had no effect, I was told I must not be doing it right. Sometimes discussions worked, and sometimes they didn't. Sometimes bribes worked, and sometimes they didn't. Sometimes time outs worked, and sometimes they didn't. Sometimes demands worked, and sometimes they didn't. Sometimes consequences other than time-outs worked, but usually they just provoked huge distress that made my heart break. My older son, especially, is very strong-willed and active, and even my younger son often didn't want to listen, to do what I wanted or needed him to do. I often felt like I just couldn't get through, often even at important moments. Overall, I didn't have a consistent approach, and there was a fair amount of frustration on all sides.
For the past few months, I've been trying to use this approach as much as I can. I'm not perfect, but I try, and that's all each of us can do, after all. Already, I can see the difference, not only in our ability to solve problems together that I bring up, but in my kids' approach to solving problems between themselves and with me. Yesterday, my older son (age 9) came up to me and expressed a concern about something where he was worried that something he wanted to do might upset me, and then we were able to talk and resolve that concern together. In other words, he initiated the problem-solving, not me. That was an awesome moment! I'm not saying that everything is perfect now or that my kids are now always perfect angels; what is different now is that I finally feel that I can get through, consistently and with results. And we never had a high level of conflict, but now I really don't feel any conflict with my kids at all. There are certainly still challenges to be worked on, but I consistently feel that we're on the same team now, and we are making progress. I used to worry that if I couldn't get through to them about some things as kids, how well would things go when they become teenagers? Now, I feel much more optimistic that we will have a very good foundation for mutual trust and respect as they get older. Thank you, Dr. Greene.
Go read this book. It will change your life.