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Raising a Son: Parents and the Making of a Healthy Man Paperback – November 1, 2004

3.7 out of 5 stars 27 customer reviews

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Parenting in a complicated world
Strategies to help you be the best parent you can be. See more
$9.86 FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books. Only 7 left in stock (more on the way). Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this wide-ranging volume, the Eliums (he is a marriage, family and child counselor; she leads support groups) explore both sides of the nature vs. nurture argument. They believe that the male sex hormone testosterone is the root of both male development and behavior. They also emphasize the need boys have for a strong male role model. Some of their discussions may strike readers as too New Age or vague to be of use, but still, there is solid information here. What the authors do best is to illustrate how both mothers and fathers need to set limits for their sons and enforce those limits when necessary. They do this by citing examples and case studies, which will stir recognition in many families. The authors remind parents that they, too, will have to undergo some self-examination and changes of attitude in dealing with their sons. A handy index of publications, networks, and organizations that can help parents is appended. The Eliums' book may not be the final say-so in child-rearing, but it's an interesting signpost along the way.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

While much has been written about raising children in general, the authors, both family counselors, focus specifically on the challenge of raising sons. They trace the history of pretechnological societies where rites of passage turned boys into men, noting that no such rites exist today in our society. Indeed, by puberty many boys have no father to look up to. The Eliums single out testosterone as the powerful driving force behind the actions of boys and men. Like Robert Bly's Iron John ( LJ 11/15/90), this book explores a new masculine identity, but from the standpoint of the parents' role. Included is a guide to the psyche of sons from birth to maturity. It is recommended for collections serving parents, teachers, counselors, and big brothers.
- Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, Pa.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 344 pages
  • Publisher: Celestial Arts; 3rd Revised ed. edition (November 1, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1587611945
  • ISBN-13: 978-1587611940
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #86,258 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By J. Creamer on March 8, 2001
Format: Paperback
I bought this book a few years ago when my first son was on the way, but never got around to reading it until now when he's five with a little brother padding around behind him. It's only now that 'my eldest' is expressing his independence in more sophisticated ways that have my wife and I wondering whether we've got this parenting thing working all right. What I found most helpful in this book is the structure and perspective it provides for raising a son at various stages of his development. One of the hardest things I've found as a parent is deciding just how much to expect from a child. Is my son being clever and manipulative or is he being sincere when he offers up his alibis and excuses? How strict should we be without undermining his self-confidence? In this area, 'Raising a Son' helps by reviewing the major phases in a boy's psychological and physical growth and offering counsel on how parents can help the boy face the challenges of growing up. The book also provides some interesting insight into how our own (parents') childhood carries into our parenting of children. All in all, these sections of the book are concise and rewarding.
The book runs through a section on 'cultural influences', which, if you read behind the over-simplification (and some statements that, for me at least, sounded a bit too much like liberal social mantras), makes some valid points. I disagree that previous societies (hunter-gatherer, agricultural, etc.) were generally better for raising a son in than ours. Nonetheless, in our technological age, we do have to come to grips with changing roles, aspirations, and expectations among men and women and with massive competition for our children's attention from all sorts of media.
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Format: Paperback
Taking on a son. It sounds like a battle ground and in fact it is, rather it tends to be. That particular energy that courses through both boys and men has become a social nightmare and maleness is being swept under societies carpet. This energy is frequently erupting into actions of destruction on our streets, in our homes, and in our school yards. We need desperately to give our sons guidence. This book shows a way to raise a boy who will be strong willed, competant, and wholesome. Reading this book shows me why masculinity is misunderstood and the watse of this valuable legacy that is occuring. This remarkable book has shown me the value of my sons, their energy, and rugged beauty. This book can show us all how to accept ourselves, our brothers, husbands, lovers, and most importantly our children. There is nothing cute about the book. It is direct and deals with body, mind, and spirit and i urge you to read it. Now I suppose I shall have to read the other book these guys wrote about raising a daughter. I tell you this parenting stuff never ends. And then there's more!
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Format: Paperback
As soon as I found out I was pregnant with a boy, I checked this book out of our local library. I found it so easy to read and such a great resource that I had to buy a copy for my own. It offers clear insight to the various stages of a boy's life into manhood. The metaphors for the various types of discipline can get to be a little much but the point is well made. Although I grew up with a younger brother, this book has already given me so much more sensitivity to the needs of a young boy that I look forward to raising my 11-week old son into manhood. I've quoted it incessantly to friends and can't help but shake my head at the parents of unruly teenage boys on talk shows, thinking they should have read the book again and again while their sons were growing up. An invaluable resource for any woman faced with the daunting task of raising a child to be a man, especially if she has never been able to understand men.
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By A Customer on January 12, 1999
Format: Paperback
This book really helped me learn how some of the things I don't understand about men are biochemical in nature. Testosterone is a very powerful drug. As our sons mature, some of the behaviors that they exhibit are directly attributed to these hormones. The authors describe the physical and emotional processes boys go through to become men and identify with their gender. I found it most illuminating. They also give lots of information on how to get your son to harness his energies in a productive manner and how to help him do so if he does not already.
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Format: Paperback
This is a book for all men, not just fathers. I read this book when I was single, and I learned a lot about myself. I highly recommend it.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My husband and I purchased this book nearly 24 years ago when our son was born. I just purchased the updated version for a colleague expecting a boy in August. She was thrilled to receive it, and I am sure she and her husband will appreciate it over the years as we did.
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By A Customer on April 14, 2003
Format: Paperback
This is a must for parents of a busy boy. I found the book not only insightful in raising our son, but also in understanding my husband better. I especially liked the fact that it starts at the begining and helps one recognize the role our physical and chemical make up play in our personalities and corresponding actions. It is one of the books I will highly recommend to my friends and family.
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