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Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere: Three Novels Paperback – October 29, 2008
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From the Inside Flap
"Brilliantly crafted, over-the-top satire. A hilariously biting look at the weakness and frailty of the human species." - THE DREAM PEOPLE
"Mykle Hansen has already proven himself to be one of the great new humorists of our time, in league with Christopher Moore, Terry Prachett, Robert Rankin, and Tom Robbins, only a hell of a lot weirder." - CARLTON MELLICK III, author of The Faggiest Vampire
"It's reminiscent of Jeunet and Caro's Delicatessen with some South Park and straight, old school surrealism thrown in." - GARRETT COOK, author of Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective
"Even more awesome than all my other incredibly awesome books by me. And I'm not just saying it's awesome because I'm in love with myself. (Although of course I am, because I'm so obviously awesome.) I'm also saying it's awesome because I wrote it." - MYKLE HANSEN, famous author
Top customer reviews
So, you've got three stories here:
1. A corporate IT puke who wants more impressive, ahem, personal hardware, sets in motion a Jekyll-and-Hyde tale that ends in a Godzillian phallocentric apocalypse. It doubles as a highly indulgent tale of the unsung IT hero. There are plenty of arcane sysadmin terms, but knowledge of them is not needed to ascertain that our hero, despite the critical flaw of desperately wanting more man-package, is one electron-jamming wondernerd.
2. A highly graphic colo-rectal Fantastic Voyage, complete with lust, mystery, monsters, intrigue, and military operations (not necessarily in that order).
3. A post-apocalyptic fantasy involving life, love, and longing, all taking place in a world covered in dooky, where it rains from the sky, and the oceans are nothing but.
No, I'm not kidding.
The irony of the first story: biological terrorists unleashing their horror on the world use the immensely inspired vector of men wanting bigger personal plumbing. Gosh, viruses spread by male enhancement come-ons? We're living this already.
The irony of the second story: if such shrinking technology were available, in such an environment, it is not the least bit unreasonable to think that every single one of the manipulative, exploitive elements portrayed in this story would show up to do what they do best, for no one's good but their own.
The irony of the third story: well, you've kind of got me there. And there are pirates and battling!
All in all, this book wasn't nearly as bad as I assumed it would be. All three stories surprised me with depth of character and story, and some good turns of phrase: "...a new era of peace and genital pride dawns...;" "the porn...must flow...;" "...but this rectum needed us. How could we refuse?" among many other jewels, most of them unavailable for inclusion in this venue. Strangely enough, and this is a compliment: man, could I smell the worlds Hansen has created here. I could see them pretty clearly, but more than anything I registered smell. The venues are uniformly unpleasant, and I really did feel better after showering when I read these stories.
As for this being satire, yeah, I can see that. Nike sure does get a grilling, as does the media, personal and corporate greed, lust for fame, vanity, the need for personal possessions, sacrificing innocents for scientific glory, and a whole lot more. Hiltons and Trumps get it pretty good, too (no relation to persons living or dead, of course).
The book read quickly, its 217 pages done in just a couple of hours. A little treasure at the back of this Eraserhead Press release is twelve pages devoted entirely to bizarre fiction. Hoo, buddy, there are some way-out titles here...I think I'll probably order one or two.
Bottom line: this book isn't going to work for most readers, well, for almost all readers. The subject matter is most decidedly adult. While the settings and action are all decidedly unpleasant, there is humor, and the dulled sheen of intellect can be seen through the muck. This is not Milton or Dante, but essentially you're getting the same stories.
Tech Support drone Jack Stalker has a miserable life, and decides to turn his fortunes around by enlarging his member. He sends off for a mysterious treatment, which turns out to be more effective than he expected, when his growing organ develops a mind of its own. First it implicates him in a potential homicide... yadda yadda yadda ...one thing leads to another... and the planet's ecosystem is destroyed, with the last surviving humans floating on makeshift rafts in the ocean. So... okay, there's a little bit of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde going on here, but maybe it's not all as supernatural as it looks. Don't most guys have at least one embarrassing story about being called to the blackboard at an inopportune moment, or a high school slow-dance that reveals one's feelings just a bit too much? My point is just that this "bizarro" stuff doesn't come out of nowhere. The same goes for imagery of monstrous members battling each other, and laying waste to the landscape, like Godzilla and Mothra. It isn't such an insane allegory, when a nine-year war and "too big to fail" banks are destroying the country. This should somehow be linked to a bizarro version of Lysistrata.
I cannot leave this discussion without making special mention of the humor. The Tech Support humor Hansen comes up with is genius, and actually steals the show from the more obvious humor potentials. When Jack wants to hit the cop, his tech buddies hold him back, saying "Dude, It's okay.. Just calm down... Reboot! Reboot!" When Phil goes crazy, he tells everybody "You're on the Devil's network now! And he's uploaded me!" (you have to read the story to get the context there) ...or when Jack compares the Phil's brains to so many "trouble tickets"... that's good stuff!
Journey to the Center of Agnes Cuttlebottom
A little bit like Fantastic Voyage, except the miniaturized team is going up the rectum of a comatose prostitute. There is a lot of funny commentary about journalism, as well as capitalists for whom nothing is sacred, and pop culture. I was particularly entertained by the character of Marine ski-doo brigade Commander Jock Thrustworth, who reminded me of Buck Turgidson from Dr Strangelove. The whole bit with the Live Aid-type concert in the woman's colon, where the National Guard has to be called in, had me rolling on the floor. Also, the time-share development in her transverse colon! As with the previous story, it's not hard to see that this is a highly-allegorical flavor of "bizarro", which is actually incisive social commentary.
Crazy Sh***ing Planet
Sorry to keep comparing these stories to other works, but here you have a time far in the future where the descendents of the rich live in beautiful cities in the clouds, and the ignorant poor live on the surface, bewildered by the assault of sewage and discarded consumer products which rain down on them. A comparison to The Time Machine is kind of hard to avoid. I enjoyed this story, but would like to have seen the character of Martha Trump-Hilton XII and the ship full of nuns developed more!
Whereas some authors like Carlton Mellick III take an absurd scenario and make it appear commonplace, Hansen does the opposite and makes common things very strange and crazy. It's different, and I like it a lot.
While Hansen isn't my favorite Bizarro author ( that would have to either go to Cameron Pierce or CM3 ) I have to say his writing is very good, and I recommend this collection to anyone who likes Bizarro.
Most recent customer reviews
Man, was I wrong.Read more
This was actually the first bizarro book I bought, but due to its can't-take-this-out-in-public title, it has...Read more