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Rattled: What He's Thinking When You're Pregnant Paperback – August 16, 2011
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Hogan Hilling wrote the book Rattled to try and help women understand what their husband's are going through during pregnancy, and why they seem to be concerned with very different specifics. Hogan draws from his own experience as a father as well as his many years of teaching and working with expecting dads, and he says, "..if you really want to know how a new dad feels, then this book is for you."
Rattled was especially eye-opening. There are some hard-to-face truths presented in this book about how we tend to treat men, and as a woman, it is not easy to read! We have a tendency to be selfish and stomp on our husband's emotions. So, if you are not ready to be honest with yourself and face the reality of your own faults, you may not enjoy reading this.
On the other hand, if you are willing to take a good hard look in the mirror, and truly want to understand your husband better, this is a good start. It could save you a lot of trouble in the long run. I'm not even pregnant, but this book helped me to better understand my husband in general, and understand some of the things he was going through when I was pregnant.
I found out why dads don't always act as excited about the pregnancy as moms, and that dads really want to be involved. Your husband wants to be your primary support person, and this book will show you how.Read more ›
Since I work with pregnant and new families with babies under the age of one year, I have witnessed many, many times exactly what Hilling describes, namely the way some women become totally absorbed in their babies and being the best mother and almost completely ignore their husbands. I agree with him that this is sometimes the start of the unraveling of some relationships and marriages. If more women read Rattled before having their baby, hopefully they would consciously try to balance their intense feelings of motherhood with the importance of maintaining and developing their relationship with their spouse. The best thing for a baby is happy, loving parents!
Rattled is an easy read that leaves you contemplating the many key points Hogan addresses in his book. I really liked his statement "A good way to approach parenthood is to view parenting as two people (a mom and a dad) sharing one role and not two people sharing two roles." This book is all about collaborating as a team to parent your new baby.
Thank your for writing such a helpful book!
If not, then I would look elsewhere, although it does give decent advice from time to time, and I do like the support for stay-at-home dads.