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Razor Wire Pubic Hair Paperback – June 29, 2012

4.1 out of 5 stars 65 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Imagine a world without men where the only way a woman can reproduce is with the help of a giant computerized incubator and a genetically engineered sex toy. Now imagine that this sex toy is intelligent. It has emotions and a soul. It hopes and dreams and it falls in love. This is the premise of Carlton Mellick III's RAZOR WIRE PUBIC HAIR.

One of the main characters "The Sister" is a nymphomaniac who is covered from head to toe in vaginas. Celsia is an Amazon warrior with pubic hair made of razor wire. The main character is a genetically engineered hermaphrodite sex toy named Celsia 2 who longs to be loved by his/her owner. Oh, but wait, there's more ... there's sex starved zombies, hordes of marauding rapists, twat frogs, a hoota beasts that is basically just a big hairy vagina with legs, and still another giant talking and apparently quite wise vagina built into the wall of the mansion in which many of these creatures reside.

What's most bizarre is that none of this seems to be there for pure shock value. In fact, this perverse menagerie of beings are presented in such a matter of fact manner that it is as if the last thing the author wants is for you to be shocked by them. He wants you to just accept them so that he can just get on with his story. And what a story it is!

RAZOR WIRE PUBIC HAIR is the touching tale of a living, breathing, thinking, sex toy that is hopelessly in love with its owner who views it as little more than an object. This book could be a metaphor for so many sexual relationships where one partner is dominant and the other is submissive, struggling to be seen as more than merely an object of lust but as a potential true love.

The most disturbing thing about this book is how much heart it contains. "Your purpose in life is to fuck as much as your body will allow before your death. You are a dildo." Celsia 2 is told and you can almost hear his/her heart break. Take away all the surreal sexual accoutrements and this could almost be a tragic romance novel about lost and unrequited love.

I have to say I enjoyed this book. It was not at all what I expected. Surreal and perverse yes but so much more. At times it was easy to forget that a man wrote this. It's almost feminist propaganda. There are no men anywhere. They are extinct in Carlton's world. Even the rapists are female. The only thing close to being male are the genetically engineered sex toys created by the women who dominate the society for the purpose of reproduction. In RAZOR WIRE PUBIC HAIR vaginas even stand above God as the dominant force in the universe. I can dig that. It sounds very much like my own life.

-- Feoamante.com, Summer 2003 --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

From the Inside Flap

Praise for Carlton Mellick III

"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America."
- GOTHIC MAGAZINE

"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"
- CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of The Stupidest Angel

"If you haven't read Mellick you're not nearly perverse enough for the twenty first century."
- JACK KETCHUM
, author of The Woman and The Girl Next Door

"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."
- CORY DOCTOROW, author of Little Brother

"Bizarre, twisted, and emotionally raw--Carlton Mellick's fiction is the literary equivalent of putting your brain in a blender."
- BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea

"Carlton Mellick III exemplifies the intelligence and wit that lurks between its lurid covers. In a genre where crude titles are an art in themselves, Mellick is a true artist."
- THE GUARDIAN

"Just as Pop had Andy Warhol and Dada Tristan Tzara, the Bizarro movement has its very own P. T. Barnum-type practitioner. He's the mutton-chopped author of such books as Electric Jesus Corpse and The Menstruating Mall, the illustrator, editor, and instructor of all things Bizarro, and his name is Carlton Mellick III."
- DETAILS MAGAZINE
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 92 pages
  • Publisher: Eraserhead Press (June 29, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1621050351
  • ISBN-13: 978-1621050353
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.2 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,339,218 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By J. R. Uder on February 6, 2005
Format: Paperback
When I started reading RWPH, I thought that the Carlton Mellick III (CM3) must be writing some form of cyber-punk BDSM. As I read more, I decided that CM3 must be writing some sort of feminst punk set in a dystopic future. Then I threw that one out and decided that it must be a satire on the role of men in our society (and the "tough guy" gender roles that they are forced to play). I finally ditched that one and gave up on trying to find an answer. Then I hit the climax, no pun intended, and I was thrilled to discover that it was just about sex.

Did I say "just about sex"? I don't mean it like that. RWPH is a raw, post-apocalypic horror story that may be set in the far future... or in a man's testicles. A fleshy, yet structured, landscape where pan-sexual cells are shaped and ruled by whore-moans (hormones). Or maybe it's all in the male subconscious.

The biological and the industrial meet-clash in strong pan-sexual antagonist-protagonist characters who evoke all sorts of weird and viseral reactions from the reader. Love? Hate? Disgust? Admiration? Facination? Definitely. All those and more; the sorts of emotions for which most of us don't even have names.

I think that CM3 must have sat down one evening and said, "Huh, I guess reading a really good story must be like having really good sex."

*This book is short; you can read it in one evening. In fact, it's hard to put down. Kind of like a good lover.

*The writing-style is fuzzy. Kind of like most of us get when we're really turned on.

*It has a great period of building curiosity. Kind of like foreplay.

*It builds slowly, taking its time. ;)

*It hits a climax. Kinda of like ... does anyone need me to explain this one?
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Format: Paperback
This book is about sex, violence,the future of the human race, gender stereotypes, procreation and recreation, and loads of leather spikes blades and all other sorts of fun. This book is sometimes disturbing, but disturbingly, this book is more often funny. It manages to be completely absurd, yet real enough to still give you the willies at times. If you like having your limits pushed, but not to the point of complete uncomfortability, then you should read this repeatedly. Yet again, Carlton Mellick the 3rd manages to mush together a million tiny little ideas and interests, tie them with dirty twine, process them through a million different fetishes and compress them into a wholly original and throughly enjoyable story. How exactly he does it, we may never ever know.
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Witch CM3 book will I explore next?

RWPH will take you on an acid-induced trip through the most surreal environment imaginable. It takes place either in the distant future or on another planet and follows the life of a hermaphrodite sex-toy, in a land ruled by violent sex crazed bizarre women. Along the way you encounter zombies, rapists and very special frogs. Only for those with a wild imagination.

Don't do drugs do CM3 - it's cheaper!
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Every new author that comes out is raved as the next Stephen King or the next Kurt Vonnegut. Carlton Mellick is not that way. He is unlike any author in literature. Therefore he is not the next of anything, he is the first. Someday he will be popular enough where people will start calling themselves the next Carlton Mellick, but for now he is one of a kind. Though I wasn't a big fan of Satan Burger and Electric Jesus Corpse, Razor Wire Pubic Hair has to be one of the better novels I've read all year. It is a metaphor for the world of sex; a journey into the nightmare world of a man's subconscious sexual desires. There are no men in this place. There are only violent lesbians who live only for sex and war. This is intelligent experimental horror fiction at its best. This book and House of Leaves are two of the most progressive horror novels ever written. Buy them both.
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I think this is one of those books that you either love it or hate it...I love it! A few things I love about it are:

1. The writing style. Another reviewer said this book is like an x-rated Cat In The Hat. I totally agree. The writing is playful, childlike and smutty. It's an interesting combo. It's also disturbing because when you read it you get the adolescent sensation of "eew vaginas" and "oooo sexy" at the same time. Sometimes I wasn't sure whether to be grossed out or turned on. There are things in this book I would have never considered sexy and yet somehow the writing makes them appeal to the kinky part of me. I also think that just as Dr. Suess used children's books as a platform for satirizing society Mellick employs a similar satirical and simplistically intelligent style.

2. The central character. As mentioned, the central character is a genetically engineered hermaphrodite. It is a pet/sexual play thing/means for reproduction for the dominant woman who purchases it. Strange as it may sound, I sympathized with this bizarre character and its unique circumstances.

3. The setting. I would say this book takes place in a sci-fi fantasy nightmare world. Think of a pornographic Hellraiser crossed with Tetsuo: the Iron Man ruled by Lesbian S&M Fetishists.

I'm sure this book isn't for everyone. I've read other books by Mellick and this one is very different in a lot of ways. You probably won't like this book if you aren't into kinky sex or if you are used to reading books that are very dense.
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