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(Re)MAKING LOVE: a sex after sixty story Paperback – July 15, 2011

4.8 out of 5 stars 45 customer reviews

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About the Author

Mary L. Tabor is the author of The Woman Who Never Cooked, which won Mid-List Press’s First Series Award and was published when she was 60. Her short stories have won numerous literary awards. Her experience spans the worlds of journalism, business, education, fiction and memoir writing. She was a high school English teacher who joined the business world, leaving her corporate job when she was 50 to earn an MFA degree. She teaches at George Washington University, works with less-privileged populations at the D.C. library on how to get started writing, and is a Woodrow Wilson Visiting Fellow. She lives in the Penn Quarter in downtown D.C.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 212 pages
  • Publisher: Outer Banks Publishing Group (July 15, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 098299317X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0982993170
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #399,355 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
To say that Mary Tabor's memoir moved me would be a gross understatement. Like most readers, her stories of love, heartbreak and redemption deeply touched me. But it is the very essence of Mary's honest portrayal of her life that affected me the most. Not only did this fine piece of literature move me, but it also inspired me. Mary's candor, humor, brutal honesty, and emotions that she shares so openly with her readers allowed me to look deeper inside myself with more honesty. Since reading her book I have learned to really search my inner core and admit to myself who I truly am; I feel liberated.

Mary's work moved me on every level, from laughing so hard at a coffee shop that people stared, and to silently weeping as her revelations led me to my own. In Chapter 15, Frying Pans, Mary is angry at her husband, D, and spends $1500 on a pair of underwear, stating that there are many ways to hit a man over the head with a frying pan. I lost it when I read it, and busted out in laughter, partly because I wanted relief from the previous chapter that saddened me, and partly because of the pure humor.

In the previous chapter, Mary quotes Nietzsche: "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." Then she goes through an incident of a crush, and reflection of her own rocky marriage, and declares Nietzsche was right about marriage. It was at this very moment that I started viewing my own failed marriage from a different angle. Mary had the power, through her honesty of her own disappointments and heartbreak, to force me to analyze my former marriage on a different level. It was a bittersweet feeling; I felt more closure than I had before. I allowed myself to cry; it felt good, and I felt understood.
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An honest and entertaining rendering of how life can change dramatically in the wink of an eye and take one on a journey of battling loss and searching for answers though human interaction. The human frailties of the characters are exposed and open to examination via the authors quest to "tell it like it was". I enjoyed the read immensely and would recommend it highly to all those who read for pleasure as well as those that seek to examine life as it really is.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
When I bought Mary Tabor's, (Re)Making Love: A Sex After Sixty Story, I had certain expectations about the book, and I was not disappointed. But I got more -- much more -- than I expected. I discovered that this memoir had a punch to it and transcended its own subject. It has subtle levels of complexity that I'm still discovering as I reread it.

There's no doubt that this is indeed the story of a woman in her sixties suddenly cut loose from her moorings, and her sometimes tragic, sometimes funny, road to finding love and herself again. The book is interspersed with literary references and some unlikely things (hint: has to do with cooking). It's also richly entertaining. Mary tells her story courageously and with breathtaking candor, and a surface reading of the book will be very enjoyable and rewarding.

But a deeper reading of the book -- beyond the plot -- will yield more, where you will discover themes and insights that Mary did not always consciously intend to reveal. This, though, is the stuff of great literature and writing, where the greatest insights are often gleaned and discerned by the reader who dares to plumb the psyche of the writer. It is through this that we internalize her experiences, recognizing and discovering ourselves, not just for how we have responded to life's crises, but how we might. There are cautionary tales here (e.g., Internet dating) that may just influence some readers on how not to react in a crisis.

Daisy Hickman, of the SunnyRoomStudio blog, interviewed Mary last October and characterized (Re)Making Love as a "living memoir." This is not as obvious as it seems. Mary began her book as a blog, writing about events as they unfurled and whirled.
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In order to get to a place you have never been, you need to go through a place you have never been. Mary Tabor's memoir of the crushing and soul-searching months that followed the sudden break-up of her ten-year marriage instructs us in more than the language of agony and confusion. Tabor seeks poetry, prose and the old stand-by ROMComs on DVD and the things she tells us illuminate in the language of life.

I count French Kiss, While You Were Sleeping, When Harry Met Sally and Bridget Jones among the ROMcoms I could watch endlesslessly until my end of days. I have no problem with sitting down in front of one with Tabor and a beer. They are not wholly effective in reaching to the true conflicts of life, however. Tabor admits this. To work, a ROMcom has a formula that relies on a character with a jilted or wrong vision of love. In this way, the films mirror the decision that Tabor's husband made to leave her and "live alone." The reality, of course, was more true than that.

Tabor was my teacher for a fiction workshop at The George Washington University, and I had seen her several years after that course, which was incidentally after this book was completed. We went to a Nationals game with a mystery man and Sarah (her young friend in the book). Tabor was so luminous and happy that reading the book afterward was at times a shock. She serves, along with the shock, introspective revelations that, in fact, one needs the shock to reveal. "In destruction lies discovery," she writes. Notice she does not say "recovery." That is part and parcel of something different.

I did think of Joan Didion at least once before Tabor's first mention of her Year of Magical Thinking, a work that is brilliant but it also haunted me.
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