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Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In by [Goulston, Mark, Ullmen, John]
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Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In Kindle Edition

4.4 out of 5 stars 43 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


"[Real Influence] offers a full course banquet of fresh ideas for the price of a modest dinner." --Inland Empire Business Journal

Book Description

People won’t put up with being “sold” anymore. If they sense they are being pushed, their guard goes up—and even if they do comply, lingering resentment undermines the relationship...maybe forever.

Yet, most books on influence still portray it as something you “do to” someone else to get your way. That out-of-date approach invites resistance or cynicism from those who recognize the techniques. Manipulative tactics might occasionally wear down a colleague’s or client’s resistance, but they fail to produce the mutual trust that sustains successful relationships. In short, they just won’t work in our sophisticated, post-selling world.

In this groundbreaking book, authors Mark Goulston and John Ullmen reveal a new model for authentic influence—the kind that creates a strong initial connection and survives long after agreement has been reached. Based on listening, genuine engagement and commitment to win-win outcomes, Real Influence provides a powerful four-step method you can use to:

• Examine your priorities

• Learn about the key players and what they need

• Earn their attention and motivate them to hear more

• Add value with your questions and actions

Complete with examples of the steps in action and insights from real-world “power influencers,” this one-of-a-kind guide shows that being straight with everyone means winning for all.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1458 KB
  • Print Length: 272 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 081442015X
  • Publisher: AMACOM; 1 edition (January 2, 2013)
  • Publication Date: December 12, 2012
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #127,045 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Robert Morris HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on December 22, 2012
Format: Hardcover
One evening long ago while I was in Washington, a friend there invited me to accompany him to a reception at the British Embassy and during a conversation with one of the deputies, I asked him to define diplomacy. He replied, "Letting the other chap have it your way." I remembered that observation as I began to read this book. The subtitle of Mark Goulston and John Ullman's book is "persuade without pushing - gain without giving in."

They carefully organize their material within seven "Sections" and devote a separate section to each of step of model (Sections 2-15, Chapters 4-15) for "becoming wildly successful by being both influential and `influenceable'" and if not "wildly successful," each reader will at least become far more effective when attempting to influence others or evaluating others' efforts to influence them. The fifth of Stephen Covey's seven habits of highly effective people is, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." In all relationships between and among people, the importance of effective [begin italics] listening [end italics] cannot be exaggerated.

There are four mini-case studies provided in Section 7: The Fuzzy Pet Foundation, Stanford Hospital and Clinics, Heartfelt Leadership's Recoupling Therapy (Mark Goulston), and BNI (Ivan Misner).
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Format: Hardcover
Most books and courses that teach persuasion skills advocate manipulative and "pushy" techniques which involve disconnected influence, according to Mark Goulston and John Ullmen in this book. Disconnected influence might provide short-term gains, but it prevents the formation of long-term relationships. The old rules of persuasion no longer work; success now requires connected influence.

The core principles of the connected influence philosophy are described as:

* It's about building a network of people who want to help and support you, rather than leaving behind a list of people who feel disconnected and used
* It's about making the journey from your "here" to their "there" so you can understand, learn from, engage, and add to other people's point of view
* It's about identifying outcomes worthy of the people you want to connect with
* It's about being open and transparent about what you're doing, rather than concealing tactics and techniques
* It's about easing the ache inside sceptical and even cynical people so they can trust safely

Before starting the book I was worried that it might turn out to be another one of those social media books that pushes the importance of maximising your followers by spending hours each day polishing your digital persona to give it a superficial gleam of celebrity. Fortunately my fears proved completely unfounded. The actions which the authors recommend seem quite consistent with the good old-fashioned values of integrity, trustworthiness, generosity and service.

The authors recommend a four-step approach to connecting and influencing. The first step involves choosing a great outcome that you can inspire people towards.
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Format: Hardcover
Mark Goulston and John Ullmen have collaborated by bringing their considerable expertise and depth of experience to bear on one of our most pressing real-life challenges today, rising above the self-indulgent and self-serving behaviors of others in every business, government level, professional athletic organization and more. The challenge of how to wield influence toward positive, long-term ends has seldom been more important.

By describing several accounts which were formulated by having conducted extensive interviews, Goulston and Ullmen provide us readers with cogent examples, tips and techniques for reaching agreement. Their work is an easy-to-read, easy-to-grasp and easy-to-apply compendium of successful ways to accomplish one's personal or organizational goals in a positive manner.

I identified with several of their mini-cases, including the one about Stanford. Several years ago, I served as the chief of news and communications at Stanford University Medical Center--Stanford School of Medicine, Stanford Hospital and Clinics, and Lucile Packard Children's Hospital. I can testify to the outstanding care provided to patients as my nephew was one of countless patients who received superb care by Stanford University physicians. They are among the very best in the world in my judgment.

If there was ever a time when we needed a book of this kind, it is now. There are few relationships, careers or even lives that couldn't be improved by utilizing the authors' viewpoints. I recommend Real Influence without reservation.

Ritch K. Eich, Ph.D, Author
Real Leaders Don't Boss (Career Press) and
Principal, Eich Associated
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