- File Size: 271 KB
- Print Length: 9 pages
- Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
- Publication Date: May 22, 2012
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B0085L1GD6
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #20,749 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
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Top Customer Reviews
You have no clue to begin what?? (Loc. 20). And why are you going to wear a swimsuit? Time is wasting in this story -- get those facts covered fast! And I'm losing sympathy for this woman who smells musty, gropes her own breast, can't find her cell phone.
All part of the humor, I guess. The story's redeeming quality -- easy and humorous touches in contrast to a dead body she has to check out. That "pure ice" is not factual. I know La Jolla Cove -- the water is not 40 degrees in October. Perhaps 50+. Say something like: "It feels like ice."
"There's this law about trying to prevent people from succeeding in suicide." Really? If it's an attempt at humor, it'll have to come off less factual. Sorry about that. Wait a moment? Earlier the body was visible on the beach with the otters. But our narrator has to dive in. And what do you mean, "Water foamed, and she was gone." (Loc. 75). Gone where? How? You have room for more descriptive action.
AND YET -- I liked this story -- except for the ending? What ending? Come on, that's where our imaginations take over. And I don't know how come the police wouldn't want to check this out further -- after all, the report had to come from them and they were there too. So I make these comments in order to see a revision of this story. Because it is good, even though it has holes.Read more ›
Could use a touch of editing to tighten up the slightly confusing time while in the water; but then struggling with things in the water is confusing.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This was an excellent (very) quick read. The only thing I didn't like about it was that it was over so soon. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Matthew
Short story and ended way too fast,wanted it to continue, could be an interesting read. Maybe some day it will be finishedPublished 10 months ago by ken m
This short read was good and had the potential for a full length book. Hoping to read more from the author.Published 14 months ago by Laura Hernandez
Fun little piece of mermaid-themed flash fiction. Brooks manages to deliver quite a bit of character in a short amount of pages.Published 14 months ago by H. N. Stone
Cute story,good premise for a fantasy novel. Can't go wrong if it's free and you have 5 minutes to spend.Published 15 months ago by CindyLouWho
Hahaha cute!! Good SHORT read, loved it though!
Great for passing time and not having to worry about getting sucked in the book. Read more
All I remember about this book was that I can't believe I spent my time reading it. I'm pretty sure that it did not have much of a plot and that it was way to short to even get a... Read morePublished 19 months ago by Sarah prado
It was ok. It was weird that Charlie was used with the word lay at the end .I think it was too shortPublished 20 months ago by Rachelle Ott
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