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Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity Paperback – July 1, 2006
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Top Customer Reviews
"Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship."
I hung the card on my bulletin board where it was surrounded by drawings from friends, stickers from my favorite bands (The Cranberries, Pearl Jam, and the Smashing Pumpkins to name a few), movie stubs, and pithy quotes from my favorite books (including the Bible). It was a brag board. "Hey, look how cool I am! I have artsy friends and I like alternative music and I'm a Christian at the same time. I'm hardcore. I'm even a virgin." Yes folks, I wore combat boots with my dresses.
Now I'm 27. My music is mainstream (worse yet, I heard Pearl Jam on a classic rock station the other day) and I think the pastel pink purse I'm carrying today officially disqualifies me from anything smacking of hardcore. I still have that True Love Waits card --- I came across it in my parents' basement a couple of years ago --- but my enthusiasm for being a virgin has waned. It's "punk rock" when you're 15 and marriage and sex is on the horizon, just the other side of college (wa-hoo! College!); it's "lite rock" when you're 27 and marriage isn't on the radar, much less the horizon, and college is quickly retreating in the rearview mirror (wa-hoo! Paying off school loans!). And frankly, I'm just not ready to be hanging out with Seals and Croft on a regular basis.
And I'm not alone.Read more ›
Lauren Winner's book is a refreshing change from most of what's out there on sexual ethics. It's grounded in reality -- not merely the pain that attends sexual brokenness but the significant pleasure that usually attends it as well. Winner reveals the Gnostic and romantic undercurrents of most conservative attitudes toward sexual morality, especially in the Church, and articulates an alternative that is faithful to the true nature of our God-given, image-bearing humanity. This is not to say that her conclusions with regard to conduct are not "conservative" -- they are -- yet she comes to them by a thought process that holds up well to both theological reflection and harsh reality.
Especially significant is Winner's emphasis throughout on the importance of community. Ours is a world where sexuality is either held in confidence or broadcast with the expectation of nonjudgmentalism, and Winner sketches out the appealing alternative of a world where our lives are informed by relationships of integrity and authenticity with friends and mentors who love us enough to be straight with us about sex.
I am currently about the business of recommending this book in the highest possible terms to just about everyone I know.
That is, until she began to think more conceptually about the whys behind Christian morality in general, and Christian sexuality in particular. Real Sex is the story of Winner's journey from promoting liberal views on sexuality to apologist for chastity outside of marriage. Smart, funny, and honest, Real Sex has a lot to offer both single and married people alike. Winner is at her best in critiquing both our culture's attitudes toward sex, as well as Gnostic myths the church tends to propagate out of fear and ignorance.
Read this book if you have teenagers, are a college student or young single, are wondering about the Biblical purpose for sex, or are exploring the reasons why sex was made for marriage.
After finishing it, I have mixed feelings about it. There is no doubt that Lauren Winner is a very intelligent and well-read woman and how she came up with all these truths at her tender age I do not know. There are some great points in this book, like that Christian couples are called to "share" with other believers their experiences in marriage and hold them accountable, that married sex isn't always great sex, and that many of us have gone too far and are ashamed of our sexual desires, rather than disciplining them for marriage. I also love how the theme of community comes up frequently. I want to lend this book to my friend for her to read the chapter "Communities of Chastity," which asks and discusses why it seems as if singleness is looked down upon in the church, and then clarifies the special role it plays.
What I didn't really like about the book was its lack of clear organization. I learned some great things from Lauren, I really did, but I'm going to have to rely on my memory to find it in the book, not its chapter titles. She breezes through many important topics in a single chapter, offering us her ideas and opinions of experience, but not a very cohesive and balanced discourse. It has missing parts, I feel, and that is hard to avoid when the topics include premarital and marital sex, dating, marriage and its boredoms, chastity, modesty, birth control, gnosticism, and pornography; books are and should be written, devoted to each of these weighty topics!Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I'm very critical of how the Church talks about sex and so is Lauren Winner. She takes the approach of a single person choosing chastity for the sake of drawing nearer to God, and... Read morePublished 5 months ago by violetmeade
Thankful that I was able to get this great book in such good condition for a low price!Published 8 months ago by Moriah
very thought provoking book ow out gods view of sex in our lives. As God has told us its never too late to change.Published 12 months ago by SJK
Reading Lauren's writing is like sitting down for coffee with a good, wise, well-educated, well-spoken, yet warm friend. Read morePublished 12 months ago by Sir Arthur
Lauren, thank you. Your work is a meaningful, honest, and a thoroughly researched contribution to the subject of sexual purity. I admire your work greatly. Read morePublished 16 months ago by Jennifer Strickland
Dr. Winner's writing is more than a book on sex, chastity, and purity. Real Sex is more about Christian discipline, belief, character, practice, and value. Read morePublished 18 months ago by Bianca Anderson
I thought this author developed a very good and truthful and Biblical perspective on sex. She presents the road less traveled in our culture. Read morePublished 19 months ago by Steve DeGangi
I enjoyed this book. I was surprised at the theoretical aspect of the book. I thought it was interesting and thought-provoking.Published on February 25, 2014 by AN