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The Recruitment Rise of the Free Fleet Kindle Edition
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Top customer reviews
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The theme and plot may be getting a bit predictable and tired, but where this book shows some promise is the main character. He's interesting and has depth, though does make plenty of mistakes along the way. I find this to be a mostly good thing since there's no shortage of stories featuring overpowered protagonists who can simply do no wrong and always come out on top. The other bright spot is that the author has laid some interesting groundwork in this book, and there is potential for the story to truly become something unique in future installments. His worldbuilding hints at a distinctly different universe full of possibilities. For that reason alone I could see myself continuing with the series.
The minor grievance I have is that "mecha" in this world are more or less powered armor suits. I was hoping for some giant robot action here at the mention of mecha. It doesn't really detract from the story since powered armor suits are still an interesting staple of sci-fi stories.
As far as I could tell, your main protagonist had a single character flaw—which was hardly present at times—his inability to trust in and rely upon others. It's a decent fault to start with, but I was hoping for more. Lots more. I mean, as human beings we don't all have just a single fault. We have a myriad of them. It's what makes us dynamic and it's a large part of what makes us human.
Find a group of literarily knowledgable peers and have them go through your next book as you write it. Or hire an editor. If you're still at college, I recommend finding an English or philosophy professor and befriend them. Then ask them for a favor: to go through your book with the fine tooth combs the Space Balls brigade used to comb the desert for Lone Star and his companions in that classic (which I hope everyone in this review section—including you—has watched) and sort out every grammatical (as well as logistical and syntactical) error in it. Because dude, there's a part in this book where you left on the page all in caps after a sea and an ocean of dialogue something along the lines of:
"SO MUCH DIALOGUE CANT TELL WHOS TALKING NEED TO PUT A HE OR SHE SAID" (or whatever)
Picture meeting some of your characters. If they seem way too unbelievable, it's probably because they are. And if you can't buy them, I guarantee none of your readers would be able to either.
Read the Star Force series by B. V. Larsen if you haven't already. His writing and the story in that series could teach you so much.
Don't let this review or any other critique like it bring you down. Use it to make yourself better. These suggestions would have helped me a bunch if they'd been given to me at an earlier juncture.
I hope all of this will help you.
Rather than go into a plot summary duplicated by other review, I will comment on the grammar in the novel. It was by far the worst of any book I have ever read. The novel was replete with misspelled words, run on sentences, etc., etc., etc.
Not an author I will read again.
Most recent customer reviews
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