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Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling Hardcover – September 14, 2021

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 410 ratings

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Find freedom and healing from painful memories and relational struggles and learn how your past has uniquely prepared you to experience more joy.

Tragedy and pain inevitably touch our lives in some way. We long to feel whole, but more often than not, the way we've learned to deal with our wounds pushes us away from the very restoration we need most. Renowned psychologist Dr. Dan Allender and counselor and teacher Cathy Loerzel present a life-changing process of true connection and healing with ourselves, God, and others.

With a clear, biblically trustworthy method, Allender and Loerzel walk you through a journey of profound inner transformation--from the shame and hurt of old emotional wounds to true freedom and healing. Drawn from modern research and their pioneering work at The Allender Center, they will help you identify your core trauma in one of the three outcast archetypes--the widow, orphan, or stranger--and chart your path of growth into the God-given roles of priest, prophet, or leader. This book will help you learn:

  • What to do about feeling out-of-place and directionless
  • How your coping mechanisms create a false sense of health
  • How to embrace your divine calling and find lasting reconciliation
  • How your heart wounds are your unique invitation to true strength and purpose.

Your past pain does not dictate your life. Answer the call to healing and discover your life's beautiful story and a future of hope and freedom.

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From the Publisher

quote "find freedom and healing from painful memories and relational struggles"
photos of the book redeeming heartache
photo of author Dr. Dan Allender

"Often, I wonder, ‘what is the point of this suffering?’

I don’t believe every heartache is a trial God uses to teach me something or that I need to find meaning in every event. But the larger question remains: ‘God, what are you up to?’

If we look at the trajectory of our life, God is intimately involved. It is not up to me to figure out how, when, and where, let alone why, but I need to look closely enough to see that my heartache is meant to be redeemed. God intends not only to heal me but also to use my suffering for my and your good.

Our book will help you better understand what you have suffered in small and significant losses and betrayals and how God intends to heal us to empower that trauma to bring goodness to your world. By entering the valley of heartache, my heart is more open to the wonder and glory of Jesus. To name the truth about life is a risky walk on the wild side, but when adversity and suffering are significant, it is the only path that gives us vista worth the journey."

-Dr. Dan B. Allender

photo of author Cathy Loerzel

"If we are honest, we know that none of us have escaped heartache and trauma in this beautifully broken world.

The question then is how we heal in order not just to make it through, but truly thrive in the light of all that God would hope for us.

This book will help you understand how harm and heartache have come into your life and what you have done to protect yourself from it in both brilliant and heartbreaking ways. It will then usher you into the radically hopeful call to remember your name and join God in the redemptive arc of the gospel that is still alive and well and wooing us to be honest, repair that which has been shattered and join Jesus in breathing new life into this shattered world, starting with our own hearts."

-Cathy Loerzel M.A.

quote "answer the call to healing. Discover your life's beautiful story and a future of hope."

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Dan Allender is a pioneer of a unique and innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy. After receiving his master of divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary, Dan earned his Ph.D. in counseling psychology from Michigan State University. Dan previously served on faculty at the Biblical Counseling Department of Grace Theological Seminary (1983-1989) and Colorado Christian University (1989-1997). In 1997, Dan and a cadre of others founded the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Dan served as president of the Seattle School from 2002-2009. In 2011, The Allender Center was founded to cultivate healing and train leaders and mental health professionals to courageously engage others’ stories of harm. Dan continues to serve as professor of counseling psychology at the Seattle School.



Cathy Loerzel is cofounder of the Allender Center. Combining her background in organizational leadership and development with an MA in counseling psychology, she is a respected leader, instructor, and speaker. Over the past decade, she has also helped to develop the groundbreaking Trauma Informed Narrative Theory. She and her husband live in Seattle with their two children, two dogs, and a flock of chickens. Visit her at cathyloerzel.com and on Instagram at @cathy.loerzel.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0310362016
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Zondervan (September 14, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0274832909
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0310362012
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.22 x 0.98 x 9.31 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 410 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
410 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2024
Read this to encourage yourself or others and provide emotional healing!
Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2024
I bought this as a gift and own it myself. This book gives a unique perspective to human suffering and redemption that I had never heard before. HIGHLY recommend.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on August 29, 2022
I have read Healing the Wounded Heart by Allender and really enjoyed it. However, this book I think is much better. It brings up smaller "traumas" that I might have not included in my life that have affected me. It made me think of one day when my first-grade son got off the bus; I thought something was off but he wouldn't say anything, but given time, he burst into tears and told me that an older kid had bullied him. I don't recall everything I did (many years ago!) but after reading this I am so thankful that I was there, I listened, and I acknowledged his pain. Maybe if we try to take care of these mini traumas our world wouldn't be so messed up - just my thought. Another point I just didn't get from the other book that hit me square in the face in this book is the "orphan". As the youngest of six in a family full of all kinds of abuse, the explanation of "orphan" made me realize why I am what I am - why I think like I do, and helped me grieve some for the child I wasn't able to be. Now that I know I can work on changing things up, as of course I can only change myself when I understand how my past has affected my present life. The only part I really couldn't get into was the "priest". I had a hard time relating to that concept. Overall, a great book - I am recommending it to many in my abuse survivor groups.
11 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2024
This is a profound book written in a way that is easily accessible. It brought me face to face with my own heartache and ushered me into the calling I have been given in life. It challenged my thinking and encouraged me to keep moving forward. It’s such a beautiful work, and I am thankful to Dan and Cathy for writing it.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2023
There is SO much deep, helpful information in this book for helping to process trauma as well as processing your own trauma. It took me awhile to read because I had to take some time to digest in between, but I would definitely recommend. I wish it had one more chapter with more personal application but overall would recommend this book!
7 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 19, 2022
This book should come with a warning... It completely broke me after the first couple of chapters and I fell asleep crying in my husband's arms that first night. I kept going, I did the hard work and I feel better for it. God put this book in my hands for a reason! I'm about to embark on my queenly mission and this came to help me understand I needed to take care of my orphan and prophet first, before I can step fully into my purpose in this life. This book is hard - but do the work suggested and you'll see yourself starting to reap the rewards. It's completely life-changing.
8 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 3, 2023
As a student of theology and a trauma victim, this book gave me language and vision on who I am and how to grow in Christ. Highly recommend!
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on August 24, 2022
This book is a long invitation, looking at our personal narratives from several angles, to a deep and abiding redemption of the darker, more challenging parts of our story. As a reader, I was nudged towards thinking more richly about how God is in the business of redeeming the trauma, loss, and confusion in my life. As a counselor, I immediately recognized this as a useful tool for helping clients explore the terrain of their own journeys, and find God's redemptive touches along the way.
5 people found this helpful
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