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Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love Paperback – October 22, 2020
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Alexis Black persevered through her mother’s death and her father’s imprisonment. And after escaping a long and abusive relationship, the college junior promised her foster parents not to date for at least a year. But when she meets an incoming freshman on the first day of their scholarship program, she feels the world melt away, as though it were only the two of them in the room.
Justin Black lived in the poorest section of Detroit before his parents surrendered him to the foster care system at the age of nine. But when he grabs the chance for better opportunities by pursuing higher education, he can’t help but be drawn to a beautiful third-year student. At first, their past traumas--and their age difference--conspired to complicate their attraction. But the joy each took in the other and eventually conquered those obstacles, and these two survivors journeyed together toward healing.
In a stark and wholehearted true story that shares how two individuals on separate paths found each other, Alexis and Justin merge their course into one full of hope and purpose. And hand-in-hand, with a desire to help others, they learned to reject the abusive patterns of their past, thereby intentionally breaking the cycle of generational violence and unhealthy behaviors.
Written in an engaging novelistic style, the authors put forward a thoughtful exchange of ideas and personal experiences illustrating how anybody, no matter their backgrounds, can have a life of self-empowerment and joy. Broken down into four sections that cover crucial topics such as “Worthiness” and “Mental Health,” this compelling narrative will help any who are learning to love themselves and want to end the line of toxic relationships.
Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love is a page-turning memoir that will open your eyes to possibilities and dreams. If you like honest tales of triumph, refreshing transparency, and resilient faith in God, then you’ll adore Justin and Alexis’ inspirational story.
This story contains mentions of domestic violence, trauma, sexual assault, and other difficult issues faced on the road to healing.
Buy Redefining Normal to claim victory over harmful pasts today!
- Print length310 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateOctober 22, 2020
- Dimensions6 x 0.78 x 9 inches
- ISBN-101734573139
- ISBN-13978-1734573138
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From the Publisher
"An inspiring and authentic autobiography. Written with raw emotion and brutal honesty, the message is further backed up with hard data and stunning statistics, presented with analytical authority that understands how to present a strong argument. Both touching and tragic, the authors are fearless in their storytelling, shining a powerful light on widespread, critical, and often undiscussed crises." - Editorial Review
Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love is a page-turning memoir that will open your eyes to possibilities and dreams. If you like honest tales of triumph, refreshing transparency, and resilient faith in God, then you’ll adore Justin and Alexis’ inspirational story.
Audiobook out now!
You can hear the authors narrate the Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love themselves on audible!
Editorial Reviews
Review
"Brutally honest, often sad... A courageous chronicle of abuse, recovery, and success.
This absorbing account by two young authors who, as adolescents, entered state's fostering system is a gutsy account of fragility, abuse, and redemption. With a childhood marred by drugs, violence, sexual abuse, and poverty, Justin and Alexis didn't believe they had a future. But instead of accepting defeat, the pair went on to complete their studies and find professional success. They write with striking clarity about their traumatic childhood experiences, including Justin's periodic long stints in abandoned houses with his siblings to escape the child welfare system, Alexis's harrowing experience with relentless sexual abuse, the unbelievable cruelties she has to endure, and intimate betrayals she has to suffer. In the end, it was their shared history of trauma that brought them together and shaped their lifelong passion for helping vulnerable youth. This is an achingly sad account, but Readers will be inspired by this courageous story of success in the face of extreme trauma."
- The Prairies Book Review
About the Author
Justin Black started Rising Over Societal Expectations (ROSE) Empowerment Group with a vision to close the information gap for today's generation of Black and Brown youth after his experiences as a Black male in the foster care system. He has also developed policy recommendations while working with the National Black Child Development Institute resulting in a publication titled The State of the Black Child Report Card: Washington State. Born in Detroit, Michigan, Justin studied urban and community development as well as political and economic philosophy in countries such as Rwanda, Uganda, Senegal, and South Korea. In his spare time, Justin loves watching sports and enjoys hot wings. He aspires to challenge and expand the ideologies of how to build prosperous communities through interdependence and entrepreneurship.
Product details
- Publisher : Global Perspectives Publishing (October 22, 2020)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 310 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1734573139
- ISBN-13 : 978-1734573138
- Item Weight : 13.3 ounces
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.78 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #776,673 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2,663 in Christian Social Issues (Books)
- #2,909 in Christian Family & Relationships
- #6,249 in Christian Self Help
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Alexis Lenderman-Black is a serial entrepreneur, bestselling author, and speaker who has been recognized as part of Forbes Next 1000. She currently co-operates 4 companies with her husband and published the award-winning, bestselling book Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love that they’ve turned into a company, Redefining Normal. She hopes to continue the conversations on breaking generational patterns and healing to help others live a life worth living.
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Looking at the cover, you see a beautiful couple that have found love and happiness together. To echo Justin (one of the authors): you wouldn’t know what they’ve been through just by looking.
Alexis and Justin Black dive deep into their painful and traumatic pasts to bring what they have learned as foster kids - about themselves and life - to the light. How they want to, and have changed to bring them to where they are today, and for us, the readers, to gain knowledge from their experiences that could help us in our own lives, regardless of whether we are foster kids ourselves or not.
This book also gives light to the lives of foster children. It makes you realize there are many circumstances that can lead to becoming a foster child, and how much negative outlook there is for them. This book is going to help change that; this book gives hope and confidence.
I commend Alexis and Justin for being openly raw about their experiences; experiences that can never be easily shared, nor presented in a “pleasant” way.
This book is a must-read.
The organization of the sections, and the switching between individual perspectives of the authors instead of having a third person narrate gives an intimate and vulnerable feel. There are moments that make your stomach turn, or make your heart heavy, and yet also moments of happiness for them both as they reach a better place. From learning stats about foster children, and seeing the examples from how both Alexis and Justin fit and yet also defy those stats in their achievements, there is so much to learn.
It also makes you reflect on how you grew up, and what examples were given to you, about love and many other aspects of life. You think about what was healthy and what was not, and how you can change that in yourself.
I also like how they included verses from the Bible that combat negative stats about foster kids. God loves everyone, no matter who you are or what you’ve been through.
The forewords by Marcy Pusey and Rob Scheer were both beautiful, and provides some insight from a foster parent and a former foster kid who became a foster parent themselves. Thank you Marcy and Rob for sharing your thoughts and your experiences as well.
It was definitely God’s work in that Marcy and Alexis and Justin were able to connect and bring this book into the world.
As others are saying, this is a much-needed book in today’s world, where voices from places hardly thought of need more light. I look forward to finishing the book!
Thank you Alexis and Justin for sharing your stories, being open, and for helping bring hope to your readers! May God bless you both with lots of happiness, good health, and success!
Everyone should read this book. Those who had traumatic experiences growing up may find inspiration, hope, and guidance for "redefining their normal." And those who didn't will have an eye-opening experience when reading this book and hopefully gain a deeper understanding of many of the systemic issues plaguing our society and leading to cycles of trauma in families and interpersonal relationships.
I cried more times than I can count while reading this. There were tears of sorrow, tears of pride, and tears of hope. I saw so much hope for my two (adopted) sons who are continually clawing their way through the emotional valleys of residual trauma. I see adult versions of my boys in both Alexis and Justin throughout the book by how hard my boys have worked to overcome all they’ve been through while still trying to figure out how to navigate first family relationships (and even a previous foster placement).
This book helped me more thoroughly think about how to be a better mom to my boys and be more mindful about how I say things, when I say things, and how they are received. It also helped me feel like I had permission to acknowledge my own past toxic relationships and relieve myself of guilt for enforcing boundaries (even when I perceive others as judging me for doing so). Though I have a strong marriage, it also helped me identify some opportunities for growth as a wife, too.
If you work with kids who have experienced trauma, this is a must read. If you work with any other humans, this is a must read. You can never tell by looking at someone what they have been through. Like they say towards the end of the book, “Imagine if we looked like what we’ve been through.” A little compassion for everyone around us would make this world a much better place. This book is a great motivator to treat others a little bit better than we’ve done before.
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2021
I cried more times than I can count while reading this. There were tears of sorrow, tears of pride, and tears of hope. I saw so much hope for my two (adopted) sons who are continually clawing their way through the emotional valleys of residual trauma. I see adult versions of my boys in both Alexis and Justin throughout the book by how hard my boys have worked to overcome all they’ve been through while still trying to figure out how to navigate first family relationships (and even a previous foster placement).
This book helped me more thoroughly think about how to be a better mom to my boys and be more mindful about how I say things, when I say things, and how they are received. It also helped me feel like I had permission to acknowledge my own past toxic relationships and relieve myself of guilt for enforcing boundaries (even when I perceive others as judging me for doing so). Though I have a strong marriage, it also helped me identify some opportunities for growth as a wife, too.
If you work with kids who have experienced trauma, this is a must read. If you work with any other humans, this is a must read. You can never tell by looking at someone what they have been through. Like they say towards the end of the book, “Imagine if we looked like what we’ve been through.” A little compassion for everyone around us would make this world a much better place. This book is a great motivator to treat others a little bit better than we’ve done before.
You do not need to be a social worker, foster youth, caseworker or mental health professional to understand the impact or identify with the narrative of this book.
Reviewed in the United States on November 8, 2020
You do not need to be a social worker, foster youth, caseworker or mental health professional to understand the impact or identify with the narrative of this book.



















