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Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More Paperback – December 2, 2014
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In her profound and courageous New York Times bestseller, Janet Mock establishes herself as a resounding and inspirational voice for the transgender community—and anyone fighting to define themselves on their own terms.
With unflinching honesty and moving prose, Janet Mock relays her experiences of growing up young, multiracial, poor, and trans in America, offering readers accessible language while imparting vital insight about the unique challenges and vulnerabilities of a marginalized and misunderstood population. Though undoubtedly an account of one woman’s quest for self at all costs, Redefining Realness is a powerful vision of possibility and self-realization, pushing us all toward greater acceptance of one another—and of ourselves—showing as never before how to be unapologetic and real.
- Print length288 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateDecember 2, 2014
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.8 x 8.38 inches
- ISBN-101476709130
- ISBN-13978-1476709130
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“Janet Mock is a glamorous, smarty-pants writer and activist…. Her book about her life as a transwoman, Redefining Realness, isn’t just a service to the trans community but to every woman – hell, person – who has struggled with identity.” -- Lena Dunham, actress and author of Not That Kind of Girl
“Courageous! Told with a spirit of raw honesty that moves beyond confession to redemptive revelation, this book is a life map for transformation—for changing minds. A heart-rending autobiography of love, longing, and fulfillment.” -- bell hooks, feminist, social activist, and author of All About Love
“Redefining Realness is a classic American autobiography. Like Richard Wright and Maya Angelou, Janet Mock brings us into a world we may not know and with breathtaking insight, courage, and masterful craft makes her story universal.” -- Barbara Smith, author of the Truth That Never Hurts: Writings on Race, Gender, and Freedom, co-founder of Kitchen Table: Women of Color Press
"Janet Mock’s groundbreaking book is testimony to the remarkable progress trans people have achieved over the last decade-- and shines a bright light on the work that still needs to be done. Mock’s clear, lucid prose will open hearts and minds, and further the goals of equality and justice--not just for trans people, but for everyone. Redefining Realness is loving, searing, and true." -- Jennifer Finney Boylan, author of She’s Not There and Stuck in the Middle With You
“Redefining Realness is a riveting, emotional, crisply written testimony. I couldn't put it down. I aspire to be as unflinchingly brave! Janet Mock's story simultaneously embodies, complicates, and subverts the concept of American exceptionalism and self-creation.” -- Laverne Cox, actress, advocate, and star of Orange Is the New Black
“Defining oneself is a revolutionary act, and, as described in her memoir, Janet Mock fiercely fought to free herself with exquisite bravery and sensitivity. Redefining Realness is full of hope, dreams, and determination. It is a true American girl story.” -- Michaela angela Davis, Image Activist/Writer/CNN Contributor
“Every Cinderella story has its problematic step-parents to maneuver around, and its metaphorical fireplaces to clean, before the heroine is whisked off to the ball. Janet Mock’s is no exception. But the real magic here is not of the fairy-tale kind. Redefining Realness overflows with the everyday magic of survival and resiliency in low income communities of color, of loving kindness bursting through the cracks of a hard reality, and of the life-sustaining bonds of family, friendships, and a powerful trans sisterhood.” -- Susan Stryker, author of Transgender History and Associate Professor of Gender and Women’s Studies and Director of the Institute for LGBT, University of Arizona
"Janet Mock's honest and sometimes searing journey is a rare and important look into la vida liminal, one that she manages to negotiate remarkably well, with grace, humor, and fierce grit. Mock doesn't only redefine what realness means to her, but challenges us to rethink our own perceptions of gender and sexuality, feminism and sisterhood, making this book a transcendent piece of American literature." -- Raquel Cepeda, author of Bird of Paradise: How I Became Latina
“An eye-opening and unapologetic story that is much greater than mere disclosure.... An enlightening, much-needed perspective on transgender identity.” ― Kirkus Reviews
“Mock defies the historically apolitical confines of the transgender memoir, and draws bright lines connecting her experiences to the larger realm of social justice, with a keen political eye that uses her individual experience to elucidate the wider condition of trans women of color in the U.S. Her vivid prose arouses every sense.... Although the book is ostensibly one woman’s coming-of-age story, Mock fulfills grander purposes here; in coming to terms with her own difficult journey she also uses that experience didactically, as if to take the uninitiated, non-transgender reader with her, most certainly achieving 'realness.'” ― Publishers Weekly
“...intelligent and educational…. Recommended for lovers of memoirs and for readers with sincere interest in the subject matter.” ― Library Journal
“A classic feminist coming-of-age story that’s worthy of your mantel. . . . Her memoir recounts a life that is both hardscrabble and hard-fought, making for a must-read book that is at turns riveting and wonderfully emotionally nuanced.” -- The Advocate
“Pardon the hyperbole, but Janet Mock may be the best person ever. . . . A beautiful, powerful memoir.” ― Rookie
“A fiery success.” ― The Atlantic
“The beauty of Mock’s memoir is that it is both personal and universal; her story is her own, but it also transcends the specificity of her life narrative to touch all of us.” ― Lambda Literary
“Redefining Realness is a rare autobiography in that it reads less like a memoir and more like a conversation with a homegirl. . . . [It] made me feel like I was on my couch with a friend sharing secrets rather than reading a carefully constructed narrative. That, I think, is a gift.” ― Crunk Feminist Collective
“Mock’s grace in handling complexity is matched by her frankness, and she talks race, class, and intersectional politics without ever sounding polemical.” ― The Rumpus
“Mock’s compelling memoir entrancingly chronicles the story of a multiracial trans woman’s becoming within a society that is still widely antagonistic to the non-White, non-male, transgender, and economically challenged among us. . . . Mock has written herself into herstory. And she has done so with clarity and poetic brilliance.” ― The Feminist Wire
“Janet Mock shares that which society tells us to keep secret . . . and uses it not only to strengthen herself, and empower other girls but also to educate.” ― For Books' Sake
“Here’s the short version of my review: go buy it and read it now. . . . Mock brings the same bravery and fierce determination that is evident in her history to the writing of the book, claiming her own story and making sure experiences that have often been used to dehumanize trans women and reduce us to our transition status instead serve to give the reader a more full and honest glimpse of her humanity.” ― Feministing
“Redefining Realness details a truly American story. Its poor heroine winning independence, success, and love through intelligence, determination, and hard work makes it timeless. Its portrait of a society grappling with issues of fragmented families, race, drug addiction, abuse, sex work, poverty, sexual orientation, and gender identity make it more timely and relevant than anyone expecting a ‘transgender memoir’ could possibly predict.” ― The Daily Dot
“A memoir that takes the coming-of-age narrative to both a higher and deeper level.” ― Slate
“It's fully intersectional, deliciously activist, wonderfully unapologetic, brazen, and beautiful. I love Mock's book because, like the best feminist reads, it’s really about the insight that telling stories can be a revolutionary act.” -- Laura Ciolkowski, Associate Director of the Center for the Study of Social Difference and Adjunct Associate Professor of English and Comparative Literature at Columbia University
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
This book is my truth and personal history. I have recalled facts, from events to people, to the best of my ability. When memory failed me, I did not seek answers in imagination. I sought clarity through conversations with those who’ve shared experiences with me. When my recollection of events varied from theirs, I sided with my memory and used their voice, often direct quotes, to contextualize events.
Many people featured in the book gave me permission to use their names; others I changed or labeled with an initial to protect their privacy, whether they were guilty, innocent, indifferent, or somewhere in between.
As for terminology, I prefer to use trans over transgender or transsexual when identifying myself, although I don’t find either offensive.I do not use real or genetic or biological or natural to describe the sex,body, or gender of those who are not trans. Instead, I’ve used cis, aterm applied to those who are not trans and therefore less likely toexperience the misalignment of their gender identity and assigned sex at birth—a matter we do not control, yet one that continues to frame who is normalized or stigmatized.
Finally, though I highlight some of the shared experiences of trans women and women of color throughout this book, it was not written with the intent of representation. There is no universal women’s experience. We all have stories, and this is one personal narrative out of untold thousands, and I am aware of the privilege I hold in telling my story. Visit JanetMock.com for more information, resources, and writings.
Product details
- Publisher : Atria Books; Reprint edition (December 2, 2014)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 288 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1476709130
- ISBN-13 : 978-1476709130
- Item Weight : 9.5 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.38 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #66,174 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #75 in LGBTQ+ Biographies (Books)
- #770 in Women's Biographies
- #2,875 in Memoirs (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Janet Mock wrote the New York Times bestseller Redefining Realness which tells the story of her trans girlhood, and hosts the podcast, "Never Before," a conversation series with guests like Tina Knowles Lawson, Representative Maxine Waters and Lena Dunham. In 2017, she wrote her second memoir, "Surpassing Certainty: What My Twenties Taught Me," which centers the years in her life when she was not open about being trans.
With a Masters in journalism from New York University, the Honolulu native worked as an editor at People.com, produced and conducted interviews for the HBO documentary "The Trans List", hosted a series of specials for MSNBC (including "So POPular!" and the upcoming "Beyond My Body" series) and appeared on OWN’s Super Soul Sunday -- in which Oprah Winfrey called her a “fearless new voice” and “trailblazing leader” who “changed my way of thinking.”
Janet has been lauded by the Ms. Foundation for Women, Planned Parenthood, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project and Time magazine which named her one of “the most influential people on the Internet.” The New York City-based writer is a contributing editor at ALLURE where she helms the column, "Beauty Beyond Binaries." Find out more at JANETMOCK.com
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I am Tenisha of the true soulmate. mysteries in time series and many more books to come. I like book, the outdoor. animals [ especially dog, pancake and I mention books I am American living in England which is why my English is all mixed up, before I because of an author. I was a child club coordination for a church. my own book cooks up a blend of magic, history, and of course-; a lot of adventure. so if you're on the look own next epic adventure, you have come to the right place.
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There were so many passages in here that I wanted to quote. Her writing is gorgeous and she brings up a lot of really good points. She writes about what it was like for her to be raised as if she were a boy and her gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. She writes about sexual assault (TW!) and the ways it psychologically damaged her for years to come. She writes about sex work, and the male gaze, and how the whole framing of "passing" is harmful because it holds up cis-gendered people as this lofty ideal, while also enforcing toxic beauty standards. She also writes about coming out, self-love, and what it was like for her to get her various therapies and surgeries.
At times, this was a very difficult read because she goes to some very dark places. But juxtaposed against every painful section is a friend or group of friends who supported her or a passage of self-affirmation about how she likes who she is. I also thought it was interesting about how she wrote on privilege, and underscored how no woman (trans- or otherwise)'s experience is going to be the same. Many things for her were difficult, but as someone who is conventionally attractive and had a family who mostly (with mixed success) supported her transition, she automatically has certain advantages that made her situation easier than someone who is not as conventionally attractive, doesn't fit the Western gender norms for what is considered feminine, and doesn't have familial support.
I would recommend this to anyone who is looking for a solid memoir that deals with important subjects pertaining to feminism, trans issues, coming of age, and womanhood in a fresh and engaging way. Less topically but perhaps most endearingly, I kind of fell in love with all of the early 2000s cultural references. Destiny's Child, perfumed lotion, Lipsmackers, TRL. My childhood.
4.5 out of 5 stars
This is how I felt while reading "Redefining Realness" - even before completing the first chapter. With my excitement level on "high", I wanted to immediately hightail it to someone's book club and talk about what I had just read!
This book is awesome. Janet Mock takes readers on the journey of her life as a trans woman of color - a journey that was as foreign to me as a map of the streets of Djibouti City. I honestly did not realize that the lives of transgender people were that intense (especially poor trans people of color). Thanks to media portrayals of trans men and women over the years, I likened them to "drag queens" and reduced their lives to simply being "people who like to play dress-up." To me, a person was either gay, lesbian, or straight. Nothing else. However, Mock's experience, passion, rawness, statistics, and transparency, taught me that the world does not fit neatly into compartments.
"Redefining Realness" evoked thought, compassion, and awareness - everything I expected based on the title of the book, as well as the publicity which has surrounded it over the last few months. I thoroughly enjoyed Mock's storytelling (story within a story), particularly the imagery she used to tell her story. Much like her "shero" Zora Neale Hurston, Mock's descriptive writing engaged all of the standard senses and more. I felt the winds and humidity of Oahu. I saw Charles, Sr.'s gold tooth with the Cowboys' shout-out. I touched Keisha's hair right along with Jamie. I heard conversations in Hawaiian pidgen on the streets as Janet and Wendi pooched. I tasted grandma's gumbo while eavesdropping on family gossip. (The pop music references sprinkled throughout the book made it even more "real" for me because I remember where I was when all of those songs debuted!)
On top of all of this, Mock made me laugh. Her quick wit provided a much-welcomed intermission from a stressful and, at times, unbelievable read. It was good to laugh to keep from crying. However, even in comedy, she managed to teach lessons. I'll never confuse a "drag queen" for a trans woman again because I now know "a drag queen is part-time for showtime. A trans woman is all the time." Love it!
"Redefining Realness" is a masterpiece, not only because of the content, but because of Mock's incredible writing skills. I appreciate her for using her unique story to inform, chastise, correct, and commend. That's what real women do.
I look forward to more work from Mock in any genre.
It's a subject that many people choose to ignore because it doesn't affect their lives or anyone that they know. And the fact it concerns a young woman of color, that automatically dismisses it as INSIGNIFICANT. However..for those who wish to step out of the proverbial racist box and open themselves up to a subject that is important..may not only be moved by it, but enlightened about the struggles of Transgender individuals of ALL RACES,CREEDS AND RELIGIONS whom are constantly at risk from a society that chooses to PRETEND that this is just another sick and twisted homosexual deviance..I can assure you that it is SO NOT.
This is a subject that even psychologist and the entire medical profession is learning about. An area of the human psychological experience that has been unknown but is VERY REAL and needs to be addressed and explored. There is so much concerning human psychology that is still a mystery to the professionals that work in the field. This is just a small tip of a fathomless iceberg concerning the human condition.
But..for those who wish to be enlighten to a world that is constantly being MARGINALIZED by ignorance and prejudice may find Ms Mocks story well worth reading and their own lives enlightened by a subject that is basically unknown. I know I was.
Top reviews from other countries



Thank you for such a wonderful book Janet!

