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Redirecting Children's Behavior Paperback – January 1, 1998
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For example, when a young nephew spilled apple juice on a niece's newly colored princess picture, she burst into tears. Her father tried in vain to distract her, telling her to stop crying, in order to end the extremely loud sobbing. (Any embarassed parent would do this! It's your first reaction and is so natural!) Remembering what this book had taught, I toweled up the apple juice and softly said "Let her mourn. It was a beautiful picture and a terrible accident has happened. My brother did the same thing to one of my drawings when I was in the second grade and it was heartbreaking. She has the right to be sad right now." Within an instant of a second my niece stopped her loud sobbing and stared at me in disbelief. Her dad was surprised, too, at how quickly the dramatic wails had ceased. A few big tears still rolled down her cheek and there certainly was a follow-up whimper or two, but she was instantly ready to get out the blow dryer and salvage the picture, all because I had said I understood her sadness and it was okay for her to cry. Why did it have the complete opposite effect? Because the frustration of being told to "quit crying" when she had a right to cry wasn't added to the mix of her emotions. She only had to deal with one emotion - the sadness - and when acknowledged by another, she was able to work through it much faster. I give this insightful book 100% credit for that outcome.Read more ›
If you've ever gone to work or to bed upset after dealing with a misbehaving child, you need this book. If you're tired of being frustrated by your defiant teenager or your stubborn grade schooler or even a difficult co-worker, read this book. If you have the fortitude to apply the techniques consistently, you will see remarkable results.
I do not believe the same concepts can apply for a 2 year old as it can for a 15 year old, as this book seems to imply. A young child has not learned to conceptualize and use other necessary reasoning skills in order to be dealt with on the same level as an older child or teenager. They often do not understand the consequences of their actions, despite parents explaining them or giving examples. Until a child has these skills, I think this book will be of limited value. I can see some improvement in my 6 year old but it is not applicable to my 2 year old.
The book addresses many of the same principles I'd already had. In that way, it was good to see them in a new light with ideas and reinforcements I had not thought of already.
The first part of the book talks about using discipline and avoid punishment. Well, punishment is a fact of life. If I'm speeding and get pulled over by a cop, he's likely to give me a ticket (punishment), not go over what could happen by my speeding (discipline). Punishment does not always mean striking a child or destroying their spirit, but just giving a speech will not teach a child right from wrong. And they should not learn everything by experience as some are dangerous. If my son was repeatedly running thru the house with a pencil, I believe the author would suggest negotiating with him as to why he keeps doing so and the wrong thing would be to take the pencil away. Well, my feeling is I can tell him what the dangers are, and if he continues to disobey, I will take away the pencil.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Nothing really wrong with this book...I was just expecting more specific informationPublished 1 month ago by Pamela Rose
Practical and organized advice. For example if child shows x behavior handle it y way. This information is share for various age ranges. Read morePublished 4 months ago by OnwardUpward
This book represents a very straightforward and sensible approach to parenting. It is not a system that must be followed exactly. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Deem
Very helpful to me on handling my 10 year old behavior issues. We both have come along way to work on things togetherPublished 7 months ago by Tamerie
I bought this for my granddaughter for her baby. She says it is so good, when she gets frustrated or starts questioning what she should do she goes to the book and finds the answer... Read morePublished 8 months ago by Amazon Customer
One of the best books on parenting I've ever read. I am a parenting coach, so I've read a lot of books!Published 13 months ago by martha Portilla
Exceptional concepts for raising children. I used it as a part of a RCB class I enrolled in. VERY easy to read and skim through. Read morePublished 14 months ago by LaVueDesAlpes
I am a cold care provider, and I read a LOT of parenting books. Rarely do I come across a parenting techniques that I agree with completely. This is about as close as it gets!Published 17 months ago by April L Mortensen