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Reforming Marriage: Gospel Living for Couples Paperback – May 10, 2012

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How would you describe the spiritual aroma of your home? The source of this aroma is the relationship between husband and wife. Many can fake an attempt at keeping God's standards in some external way. What we cannot fake is the resulting, distinctive aroma of pleasure to God.

Reforming Marriage does what few books on marriage do today: it provides biblical advice. Whether it has to do with respect and love, confession of sin, sexual fidelity, or even the gnarly issues of divorce and remarriage, Douglas Wilson points to the need for obedient hearts on the part of both husbands and wives.

This book is part of the Canon Press series of books on the family, which has helped many people trying to deal with the on the ground messes that come with sinners living under the same roof. Godly marriages proceed from obedient hearts, and the greatest desire of an obedient heart is the glory of God.


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canon press outfitters of the reformation doug wilson nancy rachel jankovic rebekah merkle wiley
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Plain talk for real moms. “To your right—the junk drawer.” Fearless, joyful parenting. Building relationships that will last. Cultivating a fruitful marriage.
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Used by thousands, Canon’s Family Series provides the building blocks for a home centered on Jesus. The call to build a beautiful home is both an honor and a challenge. In this simple guide, Nancy Wilson draws on decades of experience to give Christian moms practical principles on childbirth, education, discipline, and more. What does a godly living room look like? Kitchen? Front porch? Junk drawer? Pastor Douglas Wilson takes the whole family on a room-by-room tour of a Christian house, showing how selflessness transforms everything. Christian parents should raise their kids with prayer, faith, and confidence. This accessible and challenging study by pastor Douglas Wilson lays out what God requires and promises as you parent your children. Current dating practices leave young people emotionally and spiritually wrecked. Pastor Douglas Wilson offers men and women biblical truth for honoring God, their parents, and one another as they pursue long-lasting relationships. “Is this radical Christianity? No. This is basic Christianity.” Longtime wife and mother Nancy Wilson presents the counterintuitive way Christian wives can maximize freedom and happiness in their marriage: respect their man.
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From one mother to another. Fight for masculinity. Live a liberated life. How to win the universe. Let the Gospel change your home.
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These are our top sellers, presenting God’s grace and truth for every person at every moment. Normal day-to-day life with kids at early ages can be exhausting. Rachel Jankovic, mother of seven, provides personal stories and practical advice on how to persevere in the high but demanding call of motherhood. Our unchristian world preaches to men a gospel of weakness and fragility. Michael Foster and Bnonn Tenant challenge men to embrace what God made them: dangerous leaders, god-fearing husbands, inspiring fathers, loyal friends. How can you be a faithful woman in the unfolding consequences of feminism’s war against femininity? Rebekah Merkle focuses on God’s design for women, encouraging you to be a godly mom, a loving wife, and a bold entrepreneur. God designed the household as his kingdom’s command center—and Christians can choose to work either with or against God’s design. In this truly original book, C.R. Wiley unlocks the deep, eschatological centrality of the household. “This book is nothing less than a proclamation of the Gospel as embodied in family life.” Pastor Douglas Wilson gets at the heart of the family, revealing how listening to the Gospel transforms the way we disciple and care for our children’s souls."
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They won’t be boys forever. “Her worth is far above rubies.” Cook big, cook simple, cook fast. You are not enough. A reformation game plan.
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These are our top sellers, presenting God’s grace and truth for every person at every moment. How do you raise great men, ready for work, marriage, worship, and suffering? Pastor and father Douglas Wilson gives practical advice on how to mold your boys into powerful servants of God, addressing everything from school to sports to sex. Wisdom. Courage. Modesty. In fifteen brief lessons, Nancy Wilson outlines the virtues of a godly woman. Suitable for small group bible studies or personal devotionals, this practical guide offers clarity and encouragement to women of all ages. Cooking for crowds is a great but tough ministry opportunity, requiring tons of stress, money, and mental math (0.75 tsp. x 5 = 3.75 tsp = 1.25 tbsps). Drawing on long experience, Rebekah Merkle provides big recipes that are quick, cheap, and classy. One of the self-centered ideas shaping our culture is that you are enough. You are not enough, Rachel Jankovic says. Pretending differently makes true happiness impossible. But in Christ, you can find more meaning and love than you ever hoped for. “You can’t score points until you have the ball. And reformers will not have the ball until they have a culture.” America needs redeeming change. Here’s how to do it, from one of our time’s most effective reformers.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Douglas Wilson is a Senior Fellow of theology at New Saint Andrews College. Wilson is the author of numerous books on education, theology, and culture, including: The Case for Classical Christian Education, Recovering the Lost Tools of Learning, Mother Kirk, and Angels in the Architecture, as well as biographies on both Anne Bradstreet and John Knox.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Canon Press; Revised edition (May 10, 2012)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 152 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1885767455
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1885767455
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.38 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 572 ratings

About the author

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Douglas Wilson
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Douglas Wilson is pastor of Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho, and the writer of numerous books, including Same-Sex Mirage: Phantasmagoria at the Altar & Some Biblical Responses.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
572 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book excellent, well-written, and concise. They appreciate the biblical content, saying it speaks biblical truths and provides practical counsel.

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43 customers mention "Readability"41 positive2 negative

Customers find the book excellent, well-written, and concise. They say it's a definite read for all couples and a wonderful resource. Readers also mention the book is fantastic for men and women.

"...Many scripture references and clear tangible examples. Has been great to read and learn from the Douglas Wilson family series!" Read more

"This is a fantastic book for men and women." Read more

"A great and insightful read for a married, Christian woman who did not grow up in a Christian family." Read more

"...On a less substantial note, Wilson also writes well, and has quite the imagination for useful metaphors and illustrations...." Read more

41 customers mention "Biblical content"41 positive0 negative

Customers find the biblical content wise, practical, and powerful. They mention it speaks biblical truths and tosses out all the cultural lies. Readers appreciate the clear tangible examples and theological soundness.

"...Many scripture references and clear tangible examples. Has been great to read and learn from the Douglas Wilson family series!" Read more

"Wilson gets you thinking. This book has given me a very important paradigm shift as I prepare for marriage...." Read more

"...This book was an excellent reminder of how to properly execute biblical authority in your marriage with true love and grace." Read more

"...the biblical standard and purpose of marriage it is a beautiful and blessed thing!..." Read more

You need to read this!
5 out of 5 stars
You need to read this!
Are you married? Read this book. Do you plan to get married? Read this book. Absolutely wonderful book regarding biblical marriage. I highly recommend it.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2024
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 Wonderful book full of encouragement and Biblical truth. Many scripture references and clear tangible examples. Has been great to read and learn from the Douglas Wilson family series!
Reviewed in the United States on January 4, 2019
Wilson gets you thinking. This book has given me a very important paradigm shift as I prepare for marriage. I see that if the husband does not take responsibility as the head of the family, all things fall into disrepair. He must lead firmly, biblically, and with great tenderness and care for his bride. He must not abdicate responsibility, nor permit his bride to rule over him. No matter how much the world hates this truth, God sets the husband as the “lord” of the home, and he must lead with the same care, wisdom and cherishing affection with which Christ leads his bride, the church. Hr must not use this authority to exasperate his wife and family, but to help them to bear fruit as a husbandman tends to a garden. I see the wisdom of God’s paradigm, and can only painfully recognize the bad fruit of the typical ”50/50“ approach to marriage. In that approach, no one truly governs 50% — one usually takes 80% by manipulation and a strong arm. No — God gives ultimate governance to the husband but requires Him to use it with great deference, using it to serve the desires and well being of the bride in place of his own. Since he is in charge, he ultimately must take responsibility for all the results of the decisions they make as a couple — even if his wife’s ideas which he allowed. Since he is the head and has an obligation to lead the marriage into fruitfulness by God’s Grace, he must also take ultimate responsibility for all the fractures and failures that occur at different times in his marriage. Yet if he faithfully and biblically loves his wife and children through and mature practical application of the doctrine of headship, he will further beautify his wife and strengthen his children.
13 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2024
This is a fantastic book for men and women.
Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2024
Wilson tackles the necessity for a return to masculinity for men with a biblical and thoughtful approach reminding men that the abdication of their Godly responsibilities in favor of a modern approach of equity and passivity is not just a mistake…it is a sin. This book was an excellent reminder of how to properly execute biblical authority in your marriage with true love and grace.
Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2008
If you've read your bible you shouldn't be surprised by anything in this book- it's all in there and it is sound doctrine- but it has been washed over, ignored, and disregarded by many churches/christians for the last 30 years. Thankfully we seem to be seeing the slow reemergence of this important topic. I call it a must read for any young single person hoping to marry one day AND for everyone else who is already married- husbands as well as wives. When BOTH parties in a marriage follow the biblical standard and purpose of marriage it is a beautiful and blessed thing! If you want your own personal ministry to carry Gods seal of approval, you must have your own household swept clean and put in order. This is a book that will motivate you to do just that.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 15, 2024
A great and insightful read for a married, Christian woman who did not grow up in a Christian family.
Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2018
BLUF: It's about God's glory, not your happiness. Regarding marriage specifically, it's about Christ and the Church, not you and your spouse. Sin is real. Look to Christ.

Long version:
More than other marriage books, Wilson's focus is Christ and His Church - the paradigm of which our marriages are but shadows. Thus, this book presupposes a regenerated reader, since all the practical advice in the world is not going to help someone with a heart of stone who does not understand sin, nor God's gracious provision for sin in Christ and the cross.
Buildling from that foundation, Wilson's book does provide much practical counsel, rooted always in God's Word, with disregard for culture or contemporary attitudes. He deals first with a basic theology of marriage, looks at headship modeled after Christ, and then lays out some of the specific duties of husband's and wives. Some of these were no surprise (husbands have to provide for their wives), while others were new to me (husbands must confirm their wives' commitments, cf Numbers 30). Next he discusses sin, and how to deal with it in marriage, always with the cross in mind. Finally, a few chapters are given to sexual relations, children, and divorce.
If you're looking for lots of practical tips and tricks, this probably isn't the book you're looking for. There are others out there, with good theology underpinning them, that are more of that orientation. But if you want a solid consideration of the theology of marriage, its covenantal nature, and how that ought to work itself out in a Christian marriage, I have never read a better one than this.
On a less substantial note, Wilson also writes well, and has quite the imagination for useful metaphors and illustrations. This books is mechanically easy to read and understand.
17 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 21, 2019
This is a well written treatise on the subject of being male and female in the context of marriage. The glorious design of God for mankind's well being is explained. It is well written and easy to read. I strongly recommend this book to anyone that seeks to understand God's creation and His special creation of Man as male and female and the glorious roles that both have to play as they live out their lives together in marriage, reflecting God's image. It does not cater to the modern sensibilities, but simply declares that "thus saith the Lord". God's Word is the foundation for faith and practice. It contains what God has declared. We are His creatures and He is the Creator, and all that He declares is good and right and for our well being. This book is written from that perspective and is an excellent explanation of the subject of marriage and the relationship between husbands and wives, fathers and mothers.
3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Aubert Alves
5.0 out of 5 stars O casamento de acordo com seu inventor
Reviewed in Brazil on March 31, 2021
Wilson nos aponta princípios para o casamento de acordo com o preconizado pelo Senhor em seus estatutos eternos em contraposição ao secularismo, modas e movimentos humanitários. Em suma, o casamento é uma pregação da mensagem do Evangelho. Não temos a escolha de não pregar, somente se seremos bons ou maus pregadores.
One person found this helpful
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Matthew
5.0 out of 5 stars Underrated
Reviewed in Canada on January 27, 2021
Never even heard of this book. Glad God sent it in my direction. Almost every chapter had me going “Yeah...guilty....I do that. Yeah...I do that too...”
Very convicting and encouraging.
One person found this helpful
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John gifton samuel
5.0 out of 5 stars Eye opener
Reviewed in India on June 7, 2022
Basics about christian marriage.
Deals mostly about the issues faced & roles played by husband.
Not very detailed but precise.
Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome. I got lots of things to think through
Reviewed in Brazil on August 24, 2018
The book is awesome. Easy to read and to understand. No lack of deep biblical exegesis and insight, though. A good read for any who wants to understand marriage, manhood and womanhood.
Aasheesh
5.0 out of 5 stars God's design clarified for those just awakened.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 24, 2014
I came to this book as it was referenced in another Christian book I was reading. The reference was so clear, once I started, I couldn't put this book down... In this politically correct society, this book was indeed a medicine I required- Godly perspective on distinct roles and attitudes in marriage. It biblically tears down the sameness-of-the-sexes that has plagued modern Christian marriages. This book clarifies, with explanation and biblical references, the differences between mere friendships(between husband and wife) and God's design and plan of marriage.