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Reinforcements: How to Get People to Help You Hardcover – June 12, 2018
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Humans have a natural instinct to help others.
Imagine walking up to a stranger on the subway and asking them for their seat. What about asking a random person on the street if you could borrow their phone? If the idea makes you squeamish, you're not alone--social psychologists have found that doing these very things makes most of us almost unbearably uncomfortable.
But here's the funny thing: even though we hate to ask for help, most people are wired to be helpful. And that's a good thing, because every day in the modern, uber-collaborative workplace, we all need to know when and how to call in the cavalry.
However, asking people for help isn't intuitive; in fact, a lot of our instincts are wrong. As a result, we do a poor job of calling in the reinforcements we need, leaving confused or even offended colleagues in our wake.
This pragmatic book explains how to get it right. With humor, insight, and engaging storytelling, Heidi Grant, PhD, describes how to elicit helpful behavior from your friends, family, and colleagues--in a way that leaves them feeling genuinely happy to lend a hand.
Whether you're a first-time manager or a seasoned leader, getting people to pitch in is what leadership is. Fortunately, people have a natural instinct to help other human beings; you just need to know how to channel this urge into what it is you specifically need them to do. It's not manipulation. It's just management.
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Named a Business Book of the Month by the Financial Times
Advance Praise for Reinforcements:
Daniel H. Pink, author of When and Drive--
"Everyone--seriously, everyone--will benefit from reading Reinforcements. With graceful prose and a firm grasp of the science, Heidi Grant shows how to seek assistance in ways that leave both the asker and the helper feeling positive, effective, and ready to help again."
Dorie Clark, author, Entrepreneurial You and Reinventing You--
"No one can do it alone. Whatever your project, mission, or job, you'll almost certainly need assistance to succeed. Heidi Grant's Reinforcements shows you the path forward."
Art Markman, Founding Director, Human Dimensions of Organizations program, University of Texas; author, Smart Thinking and Brain Briefs--
"As always, Grant provides a masterful blend of theory and practical advice that is as entertaining as it is useful."
David Burkus, author, Friend of a Friend--
"This brief but brilliant book will have a lasting impact on how you ask for (and get) more help in your work and life."
Thomas Wedell-Wedellsborg, author, Innovation as Usual--
"A powerful, practical book on how to attract allies and gain support for your ideas. Required reading for anyone who wants to get things done with the help of others."
Robert Sutton, professor, Stanford University; author, The Asshole Survival Guide and coauthor of Scaling Up Excellence--
"Reinforcements is a delightful and surprising masterpiece. Grant's compelling weave of stories and studies shows how to ask for help (and how not to), and--believe it or not--why, when you ask others for help, you do them a big favor."
About the Author
Heidi Grant, PhD, is a social psychologist who researches, writes, and speaks about the science of motivation. She is Global Director of Research & Development at the NeuroLeadership Institute and serves as Associate Director of Columbia's Motivation Science Center. She received her doctorate in social psychology from Columbia University.
- ASIN : 1633692353
- Publisher : Harvard Business Review Press (June 12, 2018)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 208 pages
- ISBN-10 : 9781633692350
- ISBN-13 : 978-1633692350
- Item Weight : 11.2 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.75 x 1 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #696,707 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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Top reviews from the United States
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Maybe giving /getting help is really a case-by-case thing, the book is offering just the simplest guidance for our information, not for the execution.
Top reviews from other countries
Along the way you will learn that painkillers can treat a broken heart (page 12); about the 'door in the face' technique (ask for one thing then another - repeatedly saying 'no' isn't easy), and all the ways we keep up a positive self-image (denial, ascribing success to ourselves and failure to circumstance, downward comparison) - and much more.
So this is a book that is very learned but wears its learning lightly; and does all it can to be practical. I very much enjoyed reading it and would recommend it strongly to others.
Not sure how many of these lessons I can't actually put into practice but a) I'm sure I can a few of them and b) simply knowing how people respond is good to know.
The self-imposed friction that we apply when considering asking for help without clearly thinking on how the helper will feel (in reality not in perception).
Examples abound in how we forgot how well we felt about giving help at the time we need to ask for it.
Really, read this book.