Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection Hardcover – April 14, 2015

Every encounter with another human being creates the opportunity for rejection. The fear of rejection is a barrier and violently limits us. Even for someone like me who has been in sales for 40-years. What I learned or what was validated is summarized below.

Suggestion - get the audible version. The person who speaks the book draws you in. Jia's stories are fun. You feel the moment, the stress, the fear, the tension, the release, the laughter, and ultimately how he learned (and we can too) to enjoy the journey. Don't miss his story and how it can impact your life if you have any dealings with other humans at all. If you are a recluse on a deserted island, you can pass.

1. Rejection is human - a human interaction with 2 sides. Rejection says more about the rejector than the rejectee. Should never be used as the universal truth or sole judgment of merit.
2. Taking a no - ask why before goodbye. Sustain the conversation after rejection by asking "why."
3. Retreat, don't run - don't give up after a rejection. Retreat to a "lesser yes."
4. Collaborate, don't contend - never argue with a rejector. Instead, try to collaborate with the rejector to make the request happen.
5. Switch up, don't give up - before deciding to quit, step back and make the request to a different person in a different environment or under a different circumstance.
6. Positioning for yes - give my why. By explaining the reasoning behind the request, it is more likely to be accepted
7. Start with I - starting with "I" can give the requestor more authentic control of the request. Never pretend to think in the other person's interests without genuinely knowing them.
8. Acknowledge doubts - by admitting obvious and possible objections with the other person, one can increase the level of trust between the 2 parties.
9. Target the audience - by choosing a more appropriate audience, one increases the chances of being accepted
10. Giving a no - patience and respect. Rejection is hard to deliver so deliver it without ever belittling the rejectee. Be direct. Avoid convoluted set-up and reasoning.
11. Offer alternatives - by offering alternatives to get a yes or concessions, you can make the other person a fan, even in rejection
12. Finding upside - motivation. Rejection can be motivations to fuel your fire for achievement. By taking emotion out of rejection, you can improve your idea or product.
13. Worthiness - sometimes it is good to be rejected, especially if the idea is influenced by group-think or radically creative.
14. Character building - by seeking rejection in tough environments, one can build up the mental toughness to go after greater goals
15. Finding meaning - find empathy. All rejections are shared by many people in the world. You can obtain empathy and understanding of other people who have faced similar rejection.
16. Find value - repeated rejections can serve as the measuring stick for one's values and beliefs
17. Find mission - sometimes the most brutal rejections in life signal a new beginning and mission for the rejectee
18. Finding freedom - freedom to ask, freedom to accept ourselves
19. Finding power - detachment from results. Focus on controllable factors, not on acceptance or rejection

We all fear rejection in some way shape or form and at some point in our lives. Unfortunately most of us do not conquer this fear of rejection and it manifests in our behaviours and dealings with others. Jia Jiang proposes an alternate approach by taking rejection head on. Through a serious of experiments Jiang overcomes is fear of rejection and lives to tell his story.

What I enjoyed about the book was going through Jiang's various stories and examples and how he matched them to overcoming aspects of rejection. It all stems from our insecurity in feeling like everyone will reject us at some point. Jiang provides a simple solution in that being confident, friendly and open is the beginning. We need to couple this foundation with rethinking the outcome (the upside, the meaning, the freedom or the power or being rejected).

Suffice to say this book is jam packed with many stories and examples through Jiang's journey of becoming rejection proof! Worth checking out as I found it to be a good read.

Three key takeaways from the book:
1. Rejection happens, don't take it personally, be tough and move on. Amazing things happen when you have nothing to lose
2. Most likely the biggest reason people do not talk about rejection is because they find it easier to talk about failure
3. Within our brain, rejection pain equals physical pain. Hence why most people rank rejection so high as a fear

Jia Jiang's book "Rejection Proof" was the key that unlocked the loss of years held captive by fear. Tried as I might I never believed in myself; the probable result of an unloving parent at an early age that continues today (with lessneed pain). Rather than hold my parent accountable or hold in blame, I've worked hard to be a strong, confident woman. But being 64, possessing haunting regrets of which I intellectually know are unredeemable and am weary of the emotional wrestling, I clearly saw the thread that linked the "why" for most of my choices; the recurring hurts by others; and my "deep pit" reaction to snarkiness. The pain of REJECTION that has held me captive.
With tears of gratitude, thank you, Jia Jiang. I'm am finally free to rise to my potential and use God's gift that resides inside of me to help others dispel their haunting ghosts through hearing my story.

I wished I read this book as a teenager (1. Jia wasn't born & 2. This is the time for me to read and receive). As I watched Jia's TEDTalks and then his YouTube Rejection series, this book was perfect. I have so many dreams and aspirations that I've put aside, I'm now working on them. This is a must read.
Thank you,
Crystal "SaxLady" Brown

I have tired of many self help books. As a business owner and the product of a broken home, I look for encouragement wherever I can find it, but a practical, relatable approach to change is hard to find.

Enter Jia Jang. This is not an esoteric tome from an egghead or self proclaimed positivity expert. His very real, very accessible story is universal. The journey he outlines is one we all could take, and his autobiographical take on the basis for his fear of rejection is deeply personal, both to him and to me.

Fear is truly the great inhibitor of accomplishment. Jia's journey inspires because he's just a guy, like me, and maybe like you. What he learns about moving past his fear applies to anyone who hasn't done something because someone might disapprove.

Jia says he's nobody special. In his humanity, and in his inspirational everyman journey, he reveals himself as the most special of writers... that guy you know who did it, and who inspires you to come with him. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jia.