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Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection Hardcover – April 14, 2015
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"Rejection Proof smashes fear in the face with a one-two punch. You'll laugh out loud at Jia's crazy social experiments, but you'll also go away thinking differently about what you can accomplish." --Chris Guillebeau, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness of Pursuit and The $100 Startup
“Jia’s compelling and inspiring book is a wonderful example of how shifting our perspective can allow us to really see what makes us tick.” --Dan Ariely, Professor, Duke University, Author of Predictably Irrational
"I hope you buy two copies of this book because as soon as you read it, you'll want to give it to someone else who needs a boost of bravery too. And your friend is not going to give it back because it's not just a book, it's a constant companion for the next adventure. So buy two, better yet, buy 10 because it's hard to imagine someone who won't be encouraged and challenged by what Jia Jiang has written in Rejection Proof."
Jon Acuff, New York Times bestselling author of Do Over: Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work & Never Get Stuck and Start
"A clever and inspiring read that will change the way you approach anything that may seem out of reach. This book made me want to look fear in the eye...and then kick it in the ass.” - Alison Levine, author of New York Times bestseller On the Edge: The Art of High-Impact Leadership
“Rejection Proof is a fun, thoughtful examination of how to overcome our fears and dare to live more boldly. You have no idea what you can achieve until you try!” --Nancy Duarte, bestselling author of Slide:ology: The Art and Science of Creating Great Presentations
"Jia Jiang helps us see the folly in spending our lives avoiding failure and rejection. His advice helps us build powerful companies, careers, brands, relationships and lives. If you are human, you need this book!" -Pamela Slim, author of Body of Work
"Every page of Rejection Proof had me both laughing and feeling inspired. Jia's 100 days of ridiculous requests of strangers is a journey that will not only make you more resilient, but will also give you insights into persuasion and how to turn "no's" into "yes's". Highly recommended." --Kevin Kruse, New York Times Bestselling Author, We
"Jia will help you break free of the one thing that's probably held you back most: fear of rejection. His collection of incredible experiments in overcoming fear of rejection will inspire you while it makes you laugh.” — Andrew Warner, founder Mixergy
About the Author
Jia Jiang is founder of the popular blog and video series '100 Days of Rejection'. After quitting his job and starting his own company, he started a journey of seeking out rejection on a daily basis. By doing so, he discovered a whole new world with secrets hiding in plain sight, and the power to get what you want by asking and negotiating.
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Suggestion - get the audible version. The person who speaks the book draws you in. Jia's stories are fun. You feel the moment, the stress, the fear, the tension, the release, the laughter, and ultimately how he learned (and we can too) to enjoy the journey. Don't miss his story and how it can impact your life if you have any dealings with other humans at all. If you are a recluse on a deserted island, you can pass.
1. Rejection is human - a human interaction with 2 sides. Rejection says more about the rejector than the rejectee. Should never be used as the universal truth or sole judgment of merit.
2. Taking a no - ask why before goodbye. Sustain the conversation after rejection by asking "why."
3. Retreat, don't run - don't give up after a rejection. Retreat to a "lesser yes."
4. Collaborate, don't contend - never argue with a rejector. Instead, try to collaborate with the rejector to make the request happen.
5. Switch up, don't give up - before deciding to quit, step back and make the request to a different person in a different environment or under a different circumstance.
6. Positioning for yes - give my why. By explaining the reasoning behind the request, it is more likely to be accepted
7. Start with I - starting with "I" can give the requestor more authentic control of the request. Never pretend to think in the other person's interests without genuinely knowing them.
8. Acknowledge doubts - by admitting obvious and possible objections with the other person, one can increase the level of trust between the 2 parties.
9. Target the audience - by choosing a more appropriate audience, one increases the chances of being accepted
10. Giving a no - patience and respect. Rejection is hard to deliver so deliver it without ever belittling the rejectee. Be direct. Avoid convoluted set-up and reasoning.
11. Offer alternatives - by offering alternatives to get a yes or concessions, you can make the other person a fan, even in rejection
12. Finding upside - motivation. Rejection can be motivations to fuel your fire for achievement. By taking emotion out of rejection, you can improve your idea or product.
13. Worthiness - sometimes it is good to be rejected, especially if the idea is influenced by group-think or radically creative.
14. Character building - by seeking rejection in tough environments, one can build up the mental toughness to go after greater goals
15. Finding meaning - find empathy. All rejections are shared by many people in the world. You can obtain empathy and understanding of other people who have faced similar rejection.
16. Find value - repeated rejections can serve as the measuring stick for one's values and beliefs
17. Find mission - sometimes the most brutal rejections in life signal a new beginning and mission for the rejectee
18. Finding freedom - freedom to ask, freedom to accept ourselves
19. Finding power - detachment from results. Focus on controllable factors, not on acceptance or rejection
What I enjoyed about the book was going through Jiang's various stories and examples and how he matched them to overcoming aspects of rejection. It all stems from our insecurity in feeling like everyone will reject us at some point. Jiang provides a simple solution in that being confident, friendly and open is the beginning. We need to couple this foundation with rethinking the outcome (the upside, the meaning, the freedom or the power or being rejected).
Suffice to say this book is jam packed with many stories and examples through Jiang's journey of becoming rejection proof! Worth checking out as I found it to be a good read.
Three key takeaways from the book:
1. Rejection happens, don't take it personally, be tough and move on. Amazing things happen when you have nothing to lose
2. Most likely the biggest reason people do not talk about rejection is because they find it easier to talk about failure
3. Within our brain, rejection pain equals physical pain. Hence why most people rank rejection so high as a fear
With tears of gratitude, thank you, Jia Jiang. I'm am finally free to rise to my potential and use God's gift that resides inside of me to help others dispel their haunting ghosts through hearing my story.
Crystal "SaxLady" Brown
Enter Jia Jang. This is not an esoteric tome from an egghead or self proclaimed positivity expert. His very real, very accessible story is universal. The journey he outlines is one we all could take, and his autobiographical take on the basis for his fear of rejection is deeply personal, both to him and to me.
Fear is truly the great inhibitor of accomplishment. Jia's journey inspires because he's just a guy, like me, and maybe like you. What he learns about moving past his fear applies to anyone who hasn't done something because someone might disapprove.
Jia says he's nobody special. In his humanity, and in his inspirational everyman journey, he reveals himself as the most special of writers... that guy you know who did it, and who inspires you to come with him. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jia.