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Relationship Saboteurs: Overcoming the Ten Behaviors that Undermine Love Paperback – June 3, 2010

4.6 out of 5 stars 71 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Relationship Saboteurs is for anyone who wants long-lasting love and can’t figure out how to find and keep it. Randi Gunther’s honest, illuminating, and straightforward approach helps us to understand something so basic yet so complex: how to love and be loved.”

—Lori Gottlieb, bestselling author of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough



“Once you know where the land mines are, it’s much easier to avoid them. Randi Gunther’s Relationship Saboteurs is the guidebook you need to defuse and disarm the behaviors that implode relationships.”

—Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of Emotional Fitness for Couples and Emotional Fitness for Intimacy



“Randi Gunther is a lifesaver. She has saved mine a few times over. With this book, she puts her decades of experience and her phenomenally deep and intuitive knowledge of couples dynamics into an easily digestable and applicable form. Whether one does the included exercises or not, a careful reading of this book will give you a roadmap to get on the path towards a healthy relationship or marriage.”

—Larry Klein, Grammy-award winning record producer, musician, and composer

From the Publisher

Relationship Saboteurs presents a seven-step model for exploring and overcoming the ten most common destructive relationship patterns and building a healthy, long-lasting partnership.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1st edition (June 3, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1572247460
  • ISBN-13: 978-1572247468
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (71 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #100,363 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
We all know that Amazon sometimes contains fake reviews, but with 50 reviews, I assumed those for this book weren't. Wrong. After buying this Kindle book and reading a couple chapters I went back to the reviews and saw that nearly every reviewer has only reviewed this book. The same for her second book, with the exception of a couple who reviewed this one too. All raves. The book is unbelievably amateurish, except for those so self indulgent as to self-publish what reads like a dull thesis and call it a "book." I wish amazon would do something about these fake reviewers. The best thing about this book is its cover, the rest I wish I could return. Thumbs DOWN.
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Format: Paperback
someone wrote...It helped me to be the best lover I can be, blah blah blah. There is no ground for this words in this book. I am sick and tired of reading this, but I can't buy every book to see what's in it. Reviews are only helpful if real. I must admit reading this book was a total waste of time with no exeptions. I am seeking to be the best lover I can be, but I didn't find any help here. I found it in Free to Be Me by Arthur Vonshtain (take caution you may not be ready for this book)
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Terrific insights from someone who has worked in the field for years. Many today are quick to blame their partners for marital difficulties, only to divorce and bring the same destructive behaviors into subsequent relationships. It takes two!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I purchased this book over 3 years ago. I was engaged to my fiancé at the time and we were going through a rough patch. We wanted to workout our problems before we got married, we went ahead and bought the book. We sat down together, going through the 10 behaviors and each identified which categories we fell under. It wasn't an easy task to do, nobody likes to be criticized and even worse, criticize themselves! After we identified those behaviors, we slowly worked on them and it helped knowing where the root behavior came from. This is not a fake review, we have now been married over 3 years and have started a family. This book saved our relationship! I highly recommend for anyone looking to change themselves or save a relationship.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have suffered at the hands of my family all my adult life. I had an illness I didnt know I had, a silent killer if you may.
Randi Gunther put a face, a name, an understand to my illness. Though our familys love us uncoditionally, sometimes they unwittingly plant a seed or seeds that our life expierences will foster into demons in our life. I reguard no ill will toward my parents, they did the best the could. This book set me free of the bondage of self desructive behaviors I have been doing to myself all this time. I not only see my problems, but I recognize the illnesses of others, which has allowed me the compassion and empathy I need to be a true friend.
If you have sruggled with passed failed relationships, as I have, this book will most likely shine the light of trueth on the common denominator, not to say you or I were solely responsible, but we were the common denominator. She speaks plainly and candidly. This book will probaly shed light on your partner if you can't explain why the more you love them the more they push you away.
Finally, if you ever wondered why it's been said, watch what you say to your, or any child, this book will enlighten you, hopefully educate you.
This book is not for somebody looking to blame somebody, it's for people who can look at themselves in the mirror and say, "I need help"
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Relationship Saboteurs is a powerful book. I married a little over 2 years ago. The skill set required for a lasting relationship was not a gift my husband and I possessed. In fact, we both waited or rather avoided marriage until we were almost unmarketable (me 46 and my husband 51). As a couple with no solid base for trust, sharing or communication we knew we needed help. We were lucky enough to find "Relationship Saboteurs". There is finally a "how to" manual/book on marriage that shows you what not to do and how to bring the best out in each other. I have recommended this book to all my friends and family.
Thank you Dr. Randi Gunther for giving us the tools to be successful.
Courtney Meyer
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Believe it or not but this book restored my relationship with my man, my son, and my job. As i read this book so many hidden demons started to resurface that i had burried deep inside me for so many years. I found myself crying as i read this book because i did'nt realize that my past was holding me back from true happiness. Reading this book was like talkng to a professional. I was able to face, accept, and forgive. I am now happy and more forgiving and understanding. After 3 years me and my boyfriends love is so strong now. Me and my son are at a better place and after being at my job for almost 6 years i am now very happy and look forward to coming to work every day. Please if you are dealing with demons from your past give this book a try. It won't hurt but i promise you it will help if not save your life. I must warn you it might be a little scary because it forces you to dig deep in your past and face some scary issues that we rather forget but once facing them it gives you a better understanding of why we saboteus so many relationships with out knowing that it's you thats doing it.
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