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Respected: How One Word Can Change More Than Just Your Love Life Kindle Edition
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How wrong I was, & I didn't even know! I found myself literally nodding along at the advice in this book, which I was pleased to find felt more like a conversation with a friend than advice from a self-help book. Akirah's writing is vulnerable, personal, & honest enough that readers will feel like she's in the room with them, telling parts of her story as you work your way through yours - not some all-knowing therapist guiding you from on high. She owns her mistakes, tells you how she learned from them, & encourages you to find your own path & make your own mistakes, but to do it all through a lens of self-love & self-respect. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend more than a year ago & thought I was all healed & equipped to move on. This book helped me tap into the parts of me that aren't quite there yet, to look at them with fresh perspective, & to think about how to treat myself well, both in singledom & as I move forward with dating.
Also? I started watching the new season of "The Bachelor" almost immediately after I finished this book - & all I could think was that I wanted to send a copy to each & every one of the participants. The rejected contestants' sad, depressing, self-deprecating laments broke my heart. They ALL need Akirah's wise words!
The entire theme of this four part engaging book is the difficulty of having a healthy loving relationship unless a woman loves and respects herself first. This isn't selfish or egotistic, women deserve to be loved and respected! There are many red flags to watch for as new relationships begin: the necessity of avoiding controlling, disrespectful, abusive men. There is no need to check a mans phone, snoop or read his email. Trust takes time to develop.
Robinson shares with readers her personal experience of being involved in an abusive relationship, and the painful heartbreaking break-up process, moving on, seeking therapy, and the support of her "sisters" to heal and arrive at better place. In "The Bachelor Hall of Lame" Robinson recalls the ex-boyfriends that did her a favor by ending the relationships, or not calling again after what she thought was a positive time. Turn the time of being single to learn new things and enrich your life.
Robinson discusses the million dollar wedding industry, and the negativity of "Bridezella". It is easy to plan and have goals: to be married by a certain age, have kids etc. Relationships don't follow our timeline or personal agenda. Robinson had to move past her idealized notion of marriage to a black man, and having black kids. Instead, she and husband Dan (who is white) are looking forward to the possibility of raising biracial children together.
There are many short personal stories that will encourage and inspire readers. In the final part Robinson discusses the power of forgiveness: "When you forgive, you in no way change the past- but you sure do change the future." ~ Bernard Meltzer.
Akirah Robinson enjoys her work helping women towards healing, empowerment, and healthy loving relationships. Her writing is featured in many notable publications including the Huffington Post. She and Dan live in Pittsburg, PA.
Worth the read and I've already suggested it to multiple friends of varying relationship statuses.